Grandparents babysitting babies

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   twilanelsonposted 13 years ago

   With single parent homes and two income families, I know that being with loving Grandparents is a safe place for small children and babies.  I do have a concern about when it is fair for the grandparents to be paid. And how much money is fair for grandparents to be paid.  What is fair for the parents, grandchildren and grandparents ?

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      Lupozeeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I have a young baby and I doubt that my mum or my mother in law will ever accept money from me to look after their grandchild.
      I think it comes part of being a family, you do things because you want to not for a price.
      If grandparents did take money then I would suggest taking your children to a nursery so that way they can play with other children.

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2. 60

   lyndreposted 13 years ago

   Being a new grandparent nothing gives me more pleasure than babysitting my grandson, but I don,t think I could do it all day five days a week.

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3. 64

   Mishaposted 13 years ago

   Paid? For spending time with grandkids? Sounds weird to me.

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      Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Makes me wonder what happen to family values?

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         rebekahELLEposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I think what the OP is referring to is when grandparents are taken advantage of.. a family value should be considering the needs of each family member.

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            Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Which means that family values were not taught properly in the first place, but thank you for pointing that out.

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      gwoofterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      is it fair to ask Grandmother to baby sit 2 newborns only 10 mo.apart full time morning to as much as from 9o am. to 8:00/8:30 pm. for little pay ocassionally to no pay 5 days a week,while 2 parents parents have full time jobs,and overtime,while one of them save money for several getaways?

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4. 60

   Bellamieposted 13 years ago

   I wrote a hub about grandparents taking care of grandchildren but I didn't mention getting paid.  I think that our grown children need to know that nothing in life comes free.  If my daughter took her child to a professional daycare (as an infant-one year old) it would have cost her $1,200.00 per month.  Yes, she pays me, but less than half of that.  I also work full time and was working lots of overtime to make ends meet.  I gave up the overtime to babysit my grandchild.  I don't charge her so much that it would affect her livelihood though.  I think in many situations our children tend to take us for grantide.  We have already gone through the raising of our own children. These are supposed to be the days when grandma and grandpa spend time with one another, but instead we provide a healthy, loving home for our grandchildren.  Honestly, I really wouldn't want to  see them in a professional daycare with all the bugs floating   around.  My daughter made an adult decision to have a child, so along with that comes ALL the responsibilities that go with having a child.  I have been caring for my grandchild for two years now and I love her to pieces.  I would miss her so much if I didn't see her as often as I do now.

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5. 52

   Martisposted 13 years ago

   Since I absolutely adore my grand children I wouldn't think of asking my son & daughter-in-law to pay me to babysit. they live in Nevada and we live in Ohio so my husband and I look forward to spending time with them. I use my time alone with them to team them new things and to learn more about who they are. We are blessed that we don't need to ask for money. (Even if they did pay us we'd use the money to buy something for them or the grand children)

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6. 81

   nell79posted 13 years ago

   I'm not a grandparent yet, but I am a parent. My view on it is that if it's just an occasional thing, then there's no need for money to change hands.
   
   If it's a temporary thing, then it would vary from situation to situation, based on circumstances and ability to pay and the grandparent's situation too.
   
   If it's a permanent, frequent and regular thing, then I think it would be responsible and respectful for the parents to pay or compensate in some other way (help around the house or yard or in some other way).
   
   There is such a thing as taking advantage of a grandparent's good nature and love of their family. Still, the circumstances aren't the same for everyone. Ultimately there should be give and take in all situations, not all of it having to do with money.
   
   Just my two cents

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      Bellamieposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      thank you for your comments, nell79.  I was beginning to think I was the only one with this opinion.

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   lrohnerposted 13 years ago

   I'm actually babysitting my twin grandbabies right now. Thank goodness for afternoon naps!
   
   I take care of them one or two days a week. I thoroughly enjoy and look forward to spending this type of quality time with them, and I would never, ever dream of taking a dime for it.

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      Bellamieposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      one or two days a week is easy to do.  try 5 days a week, 10 hours a day and then work at night full time.  still not a dime?

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   twilanelsonposted 13 years ago

   Thank you all for another thoughtful and whole hearted discussion.  I am a grandmother and I take care of my grandchildren 9-10 hours per day.  I still care for them during special evenings or business events.  Sometimes they spend the night, just because.  I also attend every dance class I can.  And, I still try to maintain a life of my own.  I have chosen to let their parents pay me less than 1/2 the cost of a daycare facility.  Both parents  work very hard, and still spend as much quality time with their children as possible.  I love them very much and if I could I would not charge them a penny.  The children and I read, we study, we play, we sleep, we laugh and we argue.  These are some of the most beautiful days of my life.  I am happy knowing that they are well loved and taken care of.  I am happy knowing that they are safe everyday.  The only problem is that I was infatuated with my grandchildren and now I am addicted to these beautiful children.   I do appreciate all of your input, I am comfortable babysitting my grandchildren now and I am a better grandmother.

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      Bellamieposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I'm glad that you feel better about things.  I was torn about charging my daughter, too, but she actually had no problem with it.  Bottom line though, I would have done it for free if she couldn't afford to pay.  I love my daughter and granddaughter.  I'd try to move the earth for my family.  But at the same time, gotta take care of my needs as well.  The bills don't get paid all by themselves. 
      Enjoy your family!  It's what I am doing!  God bless!

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   rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

   I think whatever the circumstances are, parents of the children should make sure everyone is happy with the arrangements.

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10. 71

    earnestshubposted 13 years ago

    As a grandfather of 6, I babysit the little ones almost daily.
    Wouldn't have it any other way. It is a great privilege to ensure they have a loving adult on hand at all times. My daughter works and often needs an hour here and there, or even whole days. I love it!

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11. 83

    Dorsiposted 13 years ago

    My son and 2 year old grandson live with me and I am basically the "other" caretaker for my grandson since his mom is not around much.
    
    He spends alot of time with me but I have to learn better boundaries with my son because he tends to take "advantage" of grandma. I work and sometimes I'm really tired and there aren't many breaks...but I love my grandson to death and would do anything  for him.
    
    It's hard sometimes though.I wish I could have my grandson come and visit like most grandkids do, then go home and come back....but I am trying to remember how blessed I am to be this close to him too....But ohhh those terrible twos!!
    
    I thought I was done raising kids!!!!

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    asmiller71posted 13 years ago

    No, I wouldn't even ask them 'How Much'. I am with everyone else.. A grandparent most likely wouldn't take money for spending time with their grandchild

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    Esmeowl12posted 13 years ago

    I really think that it depends on the family and the circumstances.  Most grandparents I know wouldn't dream of being paid to spend time with their grandchildren.  On the other hand, the parents should initiate the conversation to see what would make everyone comfortable.  There's no right or wrong answer - only what works for you.

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