Is it correct to write on the front of a Valentines card To our son and his wife

Jump to Last Post 1-6 of 6 discussions (6 posts)
  1. profile image52
    babytearsposted 8 years ago

    Is it correct to write on the front of a Valentines card To our son and his wife?

    I gave a Valentine to my son that only had 3 words on the front
    Live Love Laugh  I wrote on the upper part of the card "To our son Joe and his wife"  My son's wife was offended because I did not write her name

  2. restoremyheart profile image60
    restoremyheartposted 8 years ago

    I know when you have purchased a really nice card, it is nice to write on the back or the inside.  So that a person can put it up on their wall, or frame it for decoration.

  3. Patty Inglish, MS profile image94
    Patty Inglish, MSposted 8 years ago

    "and his wife" is a very impersonal, diminishing, and after-thought type reference to a woman that has a name and an importance of her own, besides that of Joe's spouse, lifemate, best friend, and partner. You use the proper noun "Joe" but only a pronoun for her, on the FRONT of the card in a large announcement to the world that Joe is important and she is not. It is abusive, because it is belittling (a definition of abuse) and very visible in its belittlement, being first thing on the front of a Valentine, meant traditionally to celebrate romantic love between spouses and couples.  Now, saying you did not mean it that way is no justification or excuse. It was not a mistake. Perhaps you feel left out, or fear being left out in future, or do not like "her." Writing on the front of a card is very uncommon without a strong motivation. It may be petty or it may be pain, but only you know and can begin healing it.

  4. profile image54
    zducoteposted 8 years ago

    Well,no but i bet your family will love it no matter what:)

  5. Lisa HW profile image65
    Lisa HWposted 8 years ago

    I'm neither an etiquette expert nor a psychiatrist, so maybe I shouldn't be offering anything here, but I found myself being a little sympathetic toward you, based on your question.

    I can see how she would be offended, and I don't think it was the "greatest thing in the world" to do; but (maybe I'm wrong, I know) I'm picturing that you had the card with so few words and wanted to "turn it into a son card" (like the kind that come with "to Son and His Wife" on them.    I'm imagining how then, because you're a parent, it was just kind of automatic that you threw in "Joe" I (because none of those "to our son" cards are really personal enough for the relationship we have with our kids, but we overlook that if we're not the ones writing on the front of the card).

    I'm picturing that because you were "designing" the front of the card as a way of adding something that would "turn it into" a more special "son and his wife" card; it was natural that you'd feel the need to throw in "Joe" but not as natural to include his wife's name, because you have a different relationship with her (and it just didn't come naturally to include her name the way it did with you son's name).

    To me, your mistake wasn't so much not including her name, but in not thinking when you were "overcome with the urge" to add Joe's name.  I'm also guessing that your wish to make the card more like an "official" son card (and therefore more special) was the primary thing on your mind, and your natural instinct to include your son's name (because it seemed to impersonal when it came to him) "just happened".  In other words, I think you were so concerned with making the card a "son and his wife" card you weren't thinking.  I'm also guessing you liked the "live, love, laugh" verse so much you wanted them to have it; but maybe, again, wanted to make it a "son and his wife" card.

    I can see how Joe's wife (whatever her name is  smile ) might be offended, but then again it wouldn't kill some people to lighten up and realize sometimes people just don't think (especially in the "hurry" of filling out holiday cards etc.).  (Oh well, I'm guessing you won't make that particular mistake again.  Good luck ironing out any hard feelings.)

  6. Celebrates profile image75
    Celebratesposted 3 years ago

    I think it would have been best if you wrote both of their names. Writing Joe, was a personal touch whereas, including his wife, seems kind of impersonal. She probably feels she was slighted as kind of a second thought. After all she is your daughter in law.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)