What to do when you notice your teen doesn't keep a very good company?
Provide other things that you think will definately catch his/her attention and keep him busy.
I tackled this problem by talking to my son first asking his views about his friend without commenting on them.
Knowing that he is a high achiever turned his attention to all the websites that were about making his dream a reality.
Now he is following his passion.
Dont criticise or advice, that turns them the wrong way. Just subtly from behind the scenes change the environment by getting magazines, material that is of personal interest and provide means of following their interests - introduction to fun activities or coaching in some sport they are interested in changes their circle of influence.
Don't criticise, he/she is just trying to be rebellious and work out their own identity. That's normal. However, consider placing a strict curfew on his/her activities so that the friends don't loiter with your teen past, say, 11-12pm. I had loser friends in high school as well, and I grew out of it eventually - very thankful for my parents for putting up with the arguing and imposing a tough but fair attitude.
tell them - you won't perenetly scar them for life! They may give you some attitude but you know they will just go to their room and think about it. Give them a chance, they are almost adults. As a parent you get all the dirty work,
I guess at first I would ask myself (and in a next step, if communication is right, the teen) what it is what attracts him to them. And then I would try to build up his self-esteem and his confidence and strength, since a strong person is not as liable to follow others who are leading the crowd.
I WAS THIS TEEN! honestly, the best thing you can do is : spend as much time with them as you can-just doing normal things. give advice but dont lecture; remember, they DO listen subconciously. in the end, your parenting will win out over bad company. Good parenting doesnt mean your kids are PERFECT-it means that they LEARN from mistakes and phases instead of STAYING in them...you know your kid, you know if they'll be bad company as opposed to "hanging" with it.
This is always a tricky one for me. On the one hand, I really don't want my kids hanging out with someone who is a bad influence. On the other hand, maybe my kid can be the good influence that the other child needs.
We've had this problem mostly in the early teen years (13-14), but it's pretty manageable at that age. I've tried to make sure that the other child is invited to our home a lot so that we can get to know them and be able to give educated advice. (It's much easier to talk to your kids about specifics if you know about it first hand) It also helps me to understand more about where the other child is coming from. Do they have a bad family life? Am I only judging the outer appearance? Is there a good kid buried deep inside?
Usually, the friendship doesn't last and my kids move on to other friends who have more things in common. Only once have I had to step in and end a relationship, but that was an unusual circumstance. As a parent I only play that card when absolutely necessary.
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