How Do You Talk To A 14 Year Old?

  1. Larry Hochman profile image61
    Larry Hochmanposted 11 years ago

    So there they were, my father and my daughter...two of the most important people in the world to me, taking a leisurely stroll on a beach on the north shore of Long Island.

    It did my heart good to see these two enjoying each other's company. My dad has always been a loving grandparent and Jill, while at THAT age is a wonderful, well adjusted kid who does well interacting with adults.

    When they got back I saw a pleasant look on my daughter's face, as if she had just enjoyed a few moments with a special person.

    My father had a similar look, alhtough with a wrinkled brow. He found me a few minutes later and told me he liked the walk but had a harder time relating to Jill than he was used to.

    So he asked me, "how do you talk to a 14 year old?"

    Now I know my kid pretty well. I know what she's interested in, what will get her talking nonstop. And it's not off the chart stuff. Jill likes Broadway...everything about it.

    So I told him. First I mentioned her passion for the theater. If he asks her about Broadway he may not get a chance to speak for the rest of any conversation they may have. But he'll also make a friend for life simply because of her interest in the subject.

    And I told him something he already knows, but forgot in his concern to relate to his granddaughter...

    If you talk to anyone about the thing they're interested in, it will be a good conversation from their point of view.

    And if you really LISTEN to what they say, and show it by asking good questions and feeding back important information, you'll probably have a friend for life.

    We all know this. When a grandparent or favorite aunt or anyone else we love talks with us, it's usually about our own interests. Or it's about theirs, and we're so involved in what they have to say we take it on as our own passion (at least during the conversation.)

    How many ways can this be applied in your own life? Potential business partners or customers? Potential dates? Potential ways to get out of traffic tickets?

    It has to be genuine of course. And that takes a little more energy than many of us are willing to put forward.

    But look at the upside. Those you love will appreciate your interest enough to cut you a lot of breaks when you do or say something that doesn't sit well with them.

    You become much more attractive than those who need to express their own points of view, as if you are just the closest person around to talk at.

    Talk to that 14 year old in your life (no matter their age) the way you would want to be talked to. Talk WITH them. Be interested and excited in their interest and excitement.

    And see how quickly it comes back to you!

  2. C-Lee profile image60
    C-Leeposted 11 years ago

    Hi Larry and Forum Fellows!

    I really liked this post! Watching people connect, enjoying it, and then using it to think about how we connect with others--the real stuff of everyday life! And it has a positive feel.

    One of my favorite parts of parenting is watching my kids interact with the world--just being people out there, beings in their own right.

    Keep it coming!



This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)