Should young teens date older guys?? For example 14 age girl 18 or over age guy

1. 71

   brakel2posted 12 years ago

   Should young teens date older guys??  For example 14 age girl 18 or over age guy?

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   1. 38

      Michael Wall 777posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      If an 18 year old guy; dates a 14 year old; and in this case I`ll say it:  "Teenage Girl".  He should have to Promise her parents; to not have sex with her; until she is 18.  And the Parents should be able to lay some Ground Rules.  After all; if a 14 year old; has sex with an 18 year old male; some places consider that Rape.  And maybe the Parents should be able to tell the guy; if the girl really loves him; that if he has sex with her; and is able to support her; he may have to marry her?  I don`t know t about that; but the parents of the 14 year old young Lady; they should be able to lay some ground rules.  And maybe if the Parents say; that they have sex; and the guy needs to be able to support the young lady; if they get married?  Like the Parents could ask; maybe the guy would leave the 14 year old alone
      
        Thank You:
      
        Michael Wall.

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   2. 38

      Michael Wall 777posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      But, maybe there should be some kind of Rule or Law:  That if an older guy; not to mention older woman; has sex with a minor; if that minor wants to; the older guy or woman would have to marry the minor.  For instance; this would be conditional on maybe the minor; the minor's Parents; and if the older person could support the minor.  If the older person can support the minor; and both the minor and the minor's parents want them to marry; maybe the older person; this might be enacted by Law?  The Older Person would have no choice but to marry the minor; if the older person engaged in sex with the minor; while the minor was still underage.

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         TheShadowSpecterposted 8 months agoin reply to this

         Point well taken, Michael.  However, there is this thing called Fraidy Reiss, and there is this other thing called Jeanne Smoot.  These two men-hating pseudo-feminists have been tampering with the marriage laws in an effort to make it impossible for a teenager to get married anywhere in the United States.  They don't even want it to be legal for 18- and 19-year-old people to get married here in the United States.

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   3. 38

      Michael Wall 777posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      And it depends too; on the 14 year old young lady; for instance; it might be asked that she take some kind of test; to test her maturity level.  For she might be too immature to be able to enter in a relationship of this kind.  Now, I hate to use this term; but it fits:  Her "mental age" might be tested.  Or her; "Maturity Level" might be tested.  Or she might be given a Competency Test to see if she is   Yes, Competency Tests Exist; both she and the older person might be given Competency tests to see if they are mature and competent enough to enter a relationship.  And it depends on if the older person can support them both too.  And I have sort of mixed them; but it is not unknown that an older lady might want to date a guy who is younger than her.  I am not in charge; and this is only suggestion.
      
        Thank You:
      
        Michael Wall.

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   4. 38

      Michael Wall 777posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I guess I am sort of saying here again; maybe the discussion could grow.  But, what about both; a younger woman and an older guy.  Not only that; but an older woman and a younger guy?

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      1. 38

         Michael Wall 777posted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Would there be some kind of difference if it were an older woman and a younger guy; instead of a younger woman and an older guy?

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   5. 73

      Miebakagh57posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I do not see anything wrong with this at such tender age. 14/18 is a small margin. Now, let's say a lady of 70 is dating a man of 80. What is the difference between the grown-ups and the teenager?
      
      At less than such tender ages, my first daughter in her primary school days make a male friend.I chuckle when heard it. He still visits once a year or two.
      
      How many of you will agree to the fact that an 18-year old girl date a 14-year old boy?

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2. 37

   prowlinggingerposted 12 years ago

   I don't think they should, but being a young teenager 100 years ago, they typically do cause it makes them feel more mature and important I guess

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      Courtney Burkeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      100 years ago, "teenagers" did not exist. You were a child and then you were not. It wasn't that they felt more mature but that they were more mature due to societal pressures.

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3. 72

   lburmasterposted 12 years ago

   I think for girls under 16, they should date guys only a few years ahead of them. Like 16 versus an 18 year old. After 17, they can do basically anything in my book.
   However, you cannot say any teenager with any older male. The situation should be more complicated than that. Focus on their personalities. Will their personalities work out? How close are their mental abilities? What has he done thus far? What has she done thus far? Is her personality a people pleaser? If so, do not let her date older males. If she doesn't care about people, she can date anyone. It all matters on who you are specifically talking about.
   Even after what I have said, I don't know if you want my advice.  A week before my 18th birthday, I started dating a 30 year old. Surprisingly, the relationship is still strong after 2 years. Not pregnant, not living together, I'm a college student, he's a full time worker, we enjoy the same things, we both make great scores, etc. And his mom likes me I've never liked one of my boyfriend's mother's before. It's new and interesting.
   Even so, my situation is special and we have personalities that get along easily with each other. By dating someone who is remarkably older than you, you get to learn about things that will come later in life. The importance of saving, gaining friends, doing everything you can at the age you are now (if you're an introvert like me), etc. But also you get the party side of you out sooner.
   If I went to a university, I would be at parties with people doing drugs and having sex. People talking about all of their friends. Others focusing on how to get alcoholic beverages. Etc, etc, etc. I don't want to be around that. So I get the same expansion by visiting him every once in a while. Eventually though, it might burn out because I will have learned all I oculd.

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4. 88

   thougtforceposted 12 years ago

   No, I don't think they should! It makes me wonder what´s wrong with the guy? A girl at the age of 14 is a girl at 14 and to me it sounds strange that she should be so interesting for a guy at that age. But being a teen parent myself, I know it isn't so easy to stop them from dating either! Unless you lock in the teenage girl, and that isn't possible! Forbidding them to meet can have the opposite effect and only make things worse. So, as a teen parent I think the best thing to do, is to be on your guard and talk with the girl, let her know why you are worried and be there for her if she needs you. That is my strategy, and it has worked so far.

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5. 71

   sassydeeposted 12 years ago

   No way because young teens have a different mental state compared to an older guy or woman.

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      gmwilliamsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      +1000000000000000

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6. 76

   K. Burns Darlingposted 12 years ago

   Take away the issue of possibility of becoming sexually active, the continuing rise of unplanned teen pregnancies, the possibility of catching an STD, the increased risk of exposure to things like alcohol, illicit drug use, and physical and emotional abuse, and I still don't think that young teens should be allowed to date (at least not in the classic sense of the word) period. 
   Should a fourteen year old date someone eighteen or older?  Absolutely not!
   The difference is not just in the number of years, but in terms of life experience.  While the four year difference between a 20 year old and a 24 year old, or a 24 year old and a 28 years old is not huge, when the difference is between  fourteen and eighteen, it is light years.
   I am the mother of a sixteen year old daughter and a seventeen year old son.  House rule since they were babies; You may not date until you are at least sixteen years old. At that time, we will revisit the issue and a decision will be made based upon your level of maturity, and responsibility.  (Our definition of date is as in the classic sense, so this means that you cannot go out, on your own, just the two of you, and no car dates.) 
   I am not naive enough to think that even the toughest parent can stop the evolution of crushes and puppy love, and both of my children had the requisite "boyfriend/girlfriends, that all the other kids had, and that was as it should be, but as I reminded them frequently, you can have as many boyfriends/girlfriends as you like, but you still aren't dating until you're sixteen." 
   Beginning in junior high school, we did allow group dates, school dances, etc. but only with the stipulation that either we, or other parents were doing the picking up and dropping off. 
   They both were allowed to begin dating at sixteen, but there are still rules to follow; No dating anyone who is more than two years older or two years younger than yourself.  No dating anyone that we (Mom & Dad) have not met. (If you can't bring them home to meet us, then we will assume that there is something inappropriate about the relationship that you are trying to keep from us)  and for my daughter, no boy may take her out unless he picks her up at the door. (This is a matter of respect, not to us, but to her,)
   We must know where you are going, if your plans change, call home, if you want to go somewhere afterward, call home.  You may not go to his/her house and hang out unless their is a parent home, and they may not come here and hang out unless their is a parent home.

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7. 49

   ethen1234posted 12 years ago

   no that guy would be a fage if he did you shoul date guys the same age as you

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      Courtney Burkeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Hmmm... I would say "in the same age group" rather than "the same age." One or two years is fine as a teenager. Ten years is fine if you are middle aged.

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8. 0

   HubTubposted 12 years ago

   Depending upon where this occurs, this kind of activity could possibly fall within the legal boundaries of statutory rape, which is a very serious crime.  I think that would be cause enough to say NO!

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9. 61

   debleveyposted 12 years ago

   Although girls tend to reach physical and emotional maturity milestones at an earlier age than boys, I don't think its a good idea for a 14 year old girl to be dating a guy over the age of 18 for several reasons.Virtually every male on earth is, or at the very least can become highly motivated to achieve sexual conquests, despite the age of the person he is sexually attracted to. This is a biological function of the male gender, and a powerful instinct that not all guys of any age are willing to  resist. In today's complicated society, an education and vocational training are far more important goals for a young girl to be concentrating on than a relationship with an older guy. There is plenty of time for girls to concentrate on romantic partnerships after they finish their educations and get started on achieving vocational goals, which will help them achieve a secure future far better than an older boy friend. In the meantime, it is ok to practice relationship skills by casually dating guys their own age, without focusing on entering a committed relationship before legal adulthood is acheived.

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   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      +1000000000 in agreement.

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10. 0

    TrinityCatposted 12 years ago

    Absolutely not. It's that time of life where your hormones drives you crazy. What does a 18 year old boy want of a 14 year old girl? I'm sorry to say, but it's a rare case if someone tells me "love".

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11. 52

    VJFposted 12 years ago

    When I was 14 ( 1 month away from turning 15) I started dating a 19 year old. I was very mature from my age is some ways and very much my age in other ways.  I did not immediatly tell him my age, but i guess when we did discuss it my age was no longer an issue. I did end up having my first child with him by the age of 17 and a second at 19 and a third by 21!!  We are still happily married to this day and I am now 36 years old. We both have great jobs and a wonderful family......This being said, We have a 14 year old daughter and I asked my husband what would you do if a 19 year old wanted to start seeing you daughter??  He would never allow it! My daughter is nothing like I was at her age (THANK GOD) but looking back at it now I think it is too much for someone her age. She can end up being perfectly happy and love this person for the rest of her life or it can push her to into acting older then she really is.  Every child is different when it comes to making these choices and some 14 year olds are older then others in the way of mentality, but like I said....My husband who dated this 14 year old would never allow his daughter to do it,  whats that tell you???

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12. 67

    Rebecca2904posted 12 years ago

    I actually had this conversation with my family a little while ago. I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 13 years older than me, but even so the emotional age and level of maturity between us is much more similar that between a 14 year older and an 18 year old. I was 18 just three years ago, I'd already left home and was living abroad, dating guys and just generally leading an adult life. When I was 14 I was... I can't even really remember! I think I was dating a boy who was 15 and though we may have kissed occasionally (and rather chastely) we weren't really much more than friends.
    What an 18 year old and what a 14 year old will expect from a relationship are two very different things (or at least they should be). Even if the 14 year old is mature for their age, I don't think it's okay - they should still be allowed to grow up in their own time. Talking to my family about this subject, we decided the only situation when we think it would be okay is if the 18 year old was perhaps a little disabled and had the emotional age of a 14 year old.

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13. 62

    royalblkroseposted 12 years ago

    in the us, such a combination is known as 'STATUATORY RAPE"- even if the girl wants to be with the boy in question.  even if it were not legally wrong, it is still a dangerous situation, especially for the girl- girls that age are quite immature- and not mentally or emotionally able to be aware of being manipulated, bullied or emotionally abused.
    and any 18 yr old that would want to get involved with that 14 year old should be investigated by the local constabulary.

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       gmwilliamsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       +++++

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14. 77

    cloverleaffarmposted 11 years ago

    Only if the boy wants to register as a pedophile for the rest of his life.

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15. 61

    meetupsposted 5 years ago

    The Concerns of Teen Girls Dating Older Guys
    
       1. Does he genuinely like or love her?
        2.Is he using her for selfish reasons?
        3.Is she safe with this older boy?
        4.Will he expose her to peer pressure situations she is not mature enough to handle?

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16. 77

    brittvan22posted 5 years ago

    Absolutely not. They are at two different phases in their life. The only thing they have in common is both brains are not fully developed, which could be a recipe for disaster. Now if they are both in high school and he's not over 17 okay. At 18 he has freedoms your kid is not ready for.

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17. 56

    Dollfanposted 5 years ago

    No way!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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18. 52

    Rose Upshurposted 5 years ago

    Hormones going wild, the responsibility goes to the last plan. If the guy is decent, then he will not meet with such a child. If their love is strong, then let them check it with time.

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19. 73

    Miebakagh57posted 8 months ago

    I don't know about these weird things in the United States.                                              In other countries, they're things more stranger than the twos- Fraidy Reise and Jeanne Smoot.                                 Here in the backyard of my Rivers State of Nigeria, a 64 year old man, is about to marry a 8 year old girl, in Bayelsa State. The goverment, plus other private bodies had to wade in. Stop it!

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       TheShadowSpecterposted 8 months agoin reply to this

       I agree with you that no girl should be getting married at 8 years old.  That is not even yet a teenager.  However, when my maternal grandparents got married, my grandmother was 17 years old and my grandfather was 19 years old.  Fraidy Reiss and Jeanne Smoot are trying to make marriages like that of my grandparents illegal here in the United States based upon faulty research they have dug up from the bottom of the barrel.  They are bringing nothing to the table except for a lot of resentment against them.

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