Sisters no more

1. 66

   rsmalloryposted 14 years ago

   My eldest sister has officially 'disowned' me and her children. Her children are now living with me. One is 22 and autistic and the other is 17. She will not even speak to my mom or our other sister. I understand why she is mad at me, but can not fathom why she would kick her kids out of their own house and now tells them she hates them and never wants to see or speak to them again. How can she do this-she is their mother!

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2. 59

   Davinagirl3posted 14 years ago

   This is terrible.  Does she have a drug problem, or emotional problems?  I don't know the whole story, but I hope the children, and you, are safe and well.  I can't help but hope your sister is well, and not a physical danger to herself, or others.  This is a sad story for all involved.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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   Dale Mazurekposted 14 years ago

   It is very sad and almost unheard of but in a few rare cases you will get parents that just shouldnt have been parents.  There is even a strong possibility she may need medical help but of course would never admit it and can't be forced.
   
   This may be something that turns around in years to come but the children are old enough to understand they have been abandoned and I am sure they are going to move on with their lives.
   
   This is definatly hard on all involved but all you can do is continue to be a great person and only do whats good for the kids and not even try to help your sister.  She may or may not one day see the damage she has created.
   
   Good luck with everything

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4. 66

   rsmalloryposted 14 years ago

   The facts are she is smoking pot and using xanax. she is three months behind on her mortgage and is in danger of losing her job and her home. She has a live in boyfriend she met online who does not work.
   
   Our assumptions are the boyfriend didn't like the kids and the added expense of caring for them plus it interupted the party. As for my sister-I don't understand her, but I think she wanted the kids out of the house to make her boyfriend happy and maybe because she knew it was a bad environment all around.
   
   What I don't understand is why she wont' talk to any of us or see her own kids.

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   1. 59

      Davinagirl3posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      The kids are lucky to have you.  Your sister is in a bad place and she will probably hit rock bottom before she snaps out of it.  If she snaps out of it.  I am very sorry for your predicament.  I don't understand women who put men in the forefront and let their children fall by the wayside, but I know your sister is not the only one.  Some women have no self-esteem.  Your sister is being very selfish, but I hope she will soon see the error of her ways before it is too late.

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5. 66

   rsmalloryposted 14 years ago

   she is mad at me because I gave her a hard time about the way she was acting with the boyfriend and money. so she told me to but out. I did. Then she kicked her kids out and I had to go get them. She wouldn't even let me in the house to help them get their stuff. My neice said it was b/c there were drugs all over... it's sad. I am mad and at this point have no desire to ever speak with her again, but I feel bad for the kids-they miss her. My neice keeps writing her letters b/c my sister told her not to call anymore. My autistic nephew is beside himself b/c his whole life has changed.

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   1. 59

      Davinagirl3posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      It sounds like her drug problem is worse than you may know.  I have a friend who's mother disappeared.  She was heavily into meth amphetamine.  She showed up like two years later and was unrecognizable to her children.  Luckily, my friend was already an adult when this happened, but it is still a testament to what harm drug addictions can cause.

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   Plants and Oilsposted 14 years ago

   Good for you, taking in her children.

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   1. 66

      rsmalloryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      They had no where else to go. My mom lives with me and my other sister lives out of state. They are good kids, it's actually a blessing for me. They try to help out and aren't any trouble. My nephew is autistic, but it is mild. He has routines and if he is able to stick with them it's all good.

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         dennisemattposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Oh. this is so awful. Its is hard when family is hurting, or doing something and you know it will be bad for them, but you cant hide it or lie. You did the right thing by telling her its wrong. And its good you have your niece and nephew. They must know you love them, and that does matter. I pray your sister gets the help she needs.

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7. 66

   rsmalloryposted 14 years ago

   ok, so the deal with the money was my neice told me she was taking my nephews disability check and his pt job paycheck and not giving my nephew any money. when i asked my sister about it she said it was none of my business. ok, fine-but it is kinda my business because my nephew will not stand up to her because of his autism he follows directions to a 't'. Anyway she said if he didn't like the way she handled his money to get out and then kicked my neice out for telling me.
   
   So we stopped his disability check, but there's nothing else we can do about the $

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8. 66

   rsmalloryposted 14 years ago

   My neice is so upset and hurt that her own mother refuses to speak to her. She doesn't understand why her mother is so angry at her. I keep telling her she did nothing wrong.
   
   http://hubpages.com/hub/Into-The-Sunshine-Lauras-song

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9. 66

   rsmalloryposted 14 years ago

   Thanks Denisematt.

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10. 59

    readytoescapeposted 14 years ago

    I’m sure you have most of all Hubbers’ heart felt condolences for the troubles that have been forced upon you, and our admiration for accepting the responsibility for you sister’s children. I know you have mine.
    
    My advice to you, for what it may be worth, is that you cannot help your sister until she decides she needs help. Many with addictive or compulsive behaviors will come to realize there is a point of no return, they have to chose which path they will travel.
    
    Concentrate on the love you are providing for the kids. It sounds to me, as you have described it, they are in a much better situation now than as before.  Best wishes.

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