Did you mother - in - law help you with your kids..? Do you think it's also thei

1. 61

   poojabrahmiposted 14 years ago

   Did you mother - in - law help you with your kids..? Do you think it's also their responsibility?
   
   I have some questions popping up in my mind... just want to see what most of the people think about it.
   
   

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2. 60

   Anita..posted 14 years ago

   Hello Pooja - my mother-in-law hardly helped me raising mine and the reason for that was she is a working woman. My mother was always there for me. Yes, I do think that its the entire families responsibility to raise the child because they need to bond with the child and also the work stress for the mother reduces BUT its not the case in most of the families at least in this age where nuclear families are becoming more common.
   The other factor also is the frequencies matching between us and our mother-in-laws because we might not like how they do things and that is why we prefer not sharing the responsibility and bringing our child without there help...honest answer, hope you like it...

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3. 60

   nightwork4posted 14 years ago

   no i don't think it is her responsibility. if a person wants to have kids, then the responsibility is 100 % theirs.

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4. 66

   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   No.  I didn't want anyone else (like the grandmothers) being more involved in my kids' lives than just being close to them, kind to them, and special to them.  I saw my kids as my own responsibility, and I didn't expect help from anyone.  Also, I didn't want anyone else "butting in", so there's that side to it too.
   
   Either way, I loved that my kids were super-close to their absolutely wonderful, kind, giving, and loving grandmother (grandmothers and grandfather for that matter), but I absolutely didn't see it my mother-in-law's responsibility to help with my kids.
   
   That's not saying that in a close family, if some big emergency comes up (someone gets sick or there's dire financial trouble, or whatever), it isn't "what close families do" to help in some way.  That's kind of natural for people who care about those close to them to do (but I suppose, in some ways, some might see that as at least slightly a matter of sense-of-responsibility).
   
   What I mentioned first, though, referred to the day-to-day stuff associated with having children and taking care of them.  My kids had two parents:  me and my husband.  If anything happened to him they would have had only one.  Either way, none of their grandparents were "co-parents" with me as far as I was concerned.
   
   My kids were my responsibility, and I liked it that way and kept it that way.  If and when my grown kids ever decide to bring children into the world I'll expect them to do the same.

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5. 57

   rieomposted 14 years ago

   It is not their resposibility at all but my mother-in-law helped with the kids as did my mother  Being a mom who worked outside of the home, both of them helped when the kids were sick, on school vacations and after school.  I did have daycare also.  This helped them to build up good relationships with the kids, in my opinion.

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6. 61

   poojabrahmiposted 14 years ago

   In my opinion when you live together as a family you tend to care for each other and feel like offering help in whichever way you can (not because you "have to" but because you "want to" )
   
   You can't ask or force any member of your family. Some families are so emotionally bonded that they feel for each other and do whatever they can in the "time of a need"

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7. 60

   mummibearposted 14 years ago

   It's personal choice, if u have a happy and healthy relationship with them and they want to help let them help. My boys love their granmas and my own mother tends to help more than the mother in law but my mother in law isn't particularly maternal and has raised her children and is done with that aspect of her life, I'm a grown up now and that's fine and I accept that. The boys are my responsibility and it's my job to raise them.

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8. 58

   cardeleanposted 14 years ago

   Yes, my mother in law helps me with my kids.  As a working mom, I am very fortunate to have her there to take care of my children while I am gone.  My inlaws live very close to us and it is a great help.  For the most part, she is respectful and encouraging with the way that I want my children to be raised.  She takes my daughter to preschool and both kids to story time at the library.  I really appreciate her!

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