When my kids were little, a swat on the bottom or a stern voice would usually do the trick. Sometimes time out worked. As a teenager, depending on the offense, grounding from something they liked - maybe cell phone, maybe tv, maybe computer, maybe all of it. I never took the car, school or church activities away from them. Kids just need to know the guidelines and it is up to parents to be reasonable. I wrote a hub to that extent which may seem a bit extreme, but as a teacher I see so many kids who could be saved if they had just had guidelines and discipline.
http://hubpages.com/hub/aintyagotnosense
It would depend on some key things; the child's age, the offense, their temperament and willfulness, and the frequency of the problem. For younger children who are openly and willfully disobedient, a parental smack has been successfully utilized for thousands of years of human history; it's quick & to the point, impossible to ignore, and not quickly forgotten. For other occasions there is the consequence option. Determine a fair consequence for a given behavior (good or bad), and ensure it is consistently delivered. Of course, children come in many different flavors, what works to educate one will fail with another, therefore wisdom and diligence is necessary; the worst mistake is to continue applying a form of discipline that has consistently failed to work; learn to adapt until you find what works for your child. But be consistent and genuine, e.g.: if you have warned the child that a certain behavior warrants a certain consequence, be sure it happens. Failure to do so teaches a child a very unhealthy view of authority.
I have 4 children and I discipline each one differently. Because they are each have such different personalities they all need to be disciplined to meet their needs.
Here's some tips that worked for me:
1. Pick your battles wisely--keep them few, but they can change once old, poor behaviors are dropped. Stay strong on your rules. On those important items be sure to follow up on stated results (discipline) of not following the rules. NEVER give in on the important ones, EVER. If you say you'll throw out toys if they've left on the stairs, definitely DO IT. If you say that throwing food is cause for early bedtime, DO IT.
2. Don't engage in back-and-forth arguments on rules you believe should be enforced. State your case and stick to it, no matter what. Refuse to listen to them crying, whining or arguing their case. You're the parent/caretaker -- make and enforce the rules, period. Yes, you are the boss of them--make it clear.
3. When your child is acting their worst, remove them or yourself from the environment. For some kids trying out their strength (misbehaving) in your relationship, ANY attention is good attention. If you ignore the poor behavior, it may go away. ex. #1) Your child throws food? Never take them to a restaurant until they get the message. #2) Your child demands toys/candy when shopping? Don't take them shopping at all until an agreement has been reached before going in again. The moment they break your rule and you both walk immediately out of the store, they'll get the message. Discuss the rules before actually walking into this store again. #3) If your child won't go to bed on your schedule, don't talk to them when they come out to find you. Simply pick them up, walk them back to bed, don't say a word, and return to your activity. This'll make make you crazy the first few days, but eventually it does work. Remember to NOT argue, don't tell them to go to bed, just return them to their bed, and don't engage with them.
I have always taken something they like,or an activity they were going. seem to work!
find out what they want and reward them for doing things right!
Nick King :Entrepreneur and GREEN ENERGY EXPERT;www.hermledz.com;SAVE 95% OFF COMPANY POWER BILLS NOW;61(0)421 657 490;sk:nickkinglethbridge,tw:nicking8
by Candace Bacon 15 years ago
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by jodyjaneyccck 12 years ago
My son was punished by his father for wetting his pants by "squeezing his penis really hard."...Would you agree that this is abuse? I know every parent will eventually overreact to something their child has done in negative way; I dont think this is just a case of yelling or spanking over...
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