What are the advantages and disadvantages of being a stay at home mom?
Obviously not going to work is less stressful but one less salary coming into the household.
Great question, and for everyone the answer will vary. Obviously, I will answer based on my opinion. As far as advantages, I see far more of those...which is why I made my choice. I like the idea of raising my own children. In daycare, they spend more time with someone else than with their own parents. If they spend most of their time with me, I am able to more effectively teach them the morals and values I want instilled in them. The time children are small is so fleeting that I want to maximize my time spent with them. They grow, learn and change so fast and so much when they are small, so I feel it is important that I am who is there to help them learn and grow.
Of course, this is not always possible, and I respect that. It is not easy to be a stay-at-home mom in this day and age. As a single income family, it is difficult to compete with all of the double income families out there, and subsequently, society's assumption that most people make that much. That requires a lot of sacrifice. Another disadvantage is when you are the primary care taker, there will be times you wish you could just drop your child off at daycare...such as when you are sick or have appointments of your own. You also do your "job" 24/7. Where people at an office have breaks (lunch, etc...), you rarely do and are even "on call" almost constantly. It can be overwhelming, but with a strong support system and friends or family who are willing to babysit sometimes, it is not bad. It can also be frustrating when people assume that because you don't have a paying job, that you don't work. I would argue that a stay-at-home mother works harder than any of them!
I don't feel there is a right or wrong answer in general. It all depends on what is right for you and your family. Whatever decision you make, if it is based on what is best for you and your children, it will be the right one!
I was, fortunately, able to be a stay-at-home mom up until the time my son was around seven years old. As he'd suffered health problems it was not only a pleasure but a necessity. I think we both gained tremendously from those years as to the kind of adult he became and my attitude as a mother. My son is now deceased and I would not trade those childhood years I was present 24/7 for anything in the world. I would hope for all moms that they could at least be able to stay at home with their children when the kids are very young -- those years are tremendously important. On the other hand; just making a living now often takes two incomes and makes staying at home prohibitive for some moms. Perhaps it all boils down to one does what one has to do at any given time and find a way to balance the advantages/disadvantages as they go.
Though this was posted 5 years ago, it struck a cord with me. I'm sorry for your loss, no matter the timing. Losing one's child is a parent's worse nightmare. My situation is similar to what yours was. Bonding with baby is a beautiful thing!
Cardisa, there is really no easy answer. I commend any woman who makes the decision to stay home as it is a hard decision. You feel the guilt of not working, but reap the benefits of spending many hours of quality time with your children. The advantages are that you save significantly on daycare costs. Some daycares can charge up to $400/week just on tuition depending on the location, that cost can vary significantly. You also do not have to worry about the hustle and bustle of getting the children up and ready each morning. Sometimes it is hard enough to get yourself ready in the morning. Now imagine getting your children ready as well. There is also an advantage of consistency. You can ensure that your rules are being enforced while home with the children and there is no room for conflict or confusion.
The disadvantages are you are taking yourself out of the career world. You will need to make sure that you are keeping your skills polished while staying at home. There is also an advantage of adult interaction when you do not stay home. Your children will have to learn to cope with a school schedule later, whereas children of working parents have had early exposure. This is also where playgroups can be beneficial. There is no solid answer, because it is all about your comfort level as a mother.
You should weigh the pros and cons, but never feel guilty about your decision, because trust in your heart and you can never go wrong.
Sometimes the best things about being a stay-at-home mom can also be the worst. read more
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