If you had the choice to either be a stay at home mom or to go out to work, which would you choose?
I know there will be people on both sides of this question. There are those that can't handle staying home, they don't feel accomplished if they don't go out to work and bring home a paycheck. While others would rather be a stay at home mom and be an active part in their childrens lives.
I would have been a stay at home mum, but I wasn't.However I have only worked 3 out of the 21 years as a mum on a full time basis, so I suppose that i have been lucky
I would pick some where in the middle. I don't have kids, but I could see staying home for the first year or two, or working from home. After that, not sure. I know I want to be my own boss, but I also wouldn't want to work seventy hours a week and have someone else raise my kids. I do not judge women who want nothing more that to be a house wife, but I don't think I would be happy with out a career. For better or worse, I associate a career with independence.
I am a stay at home mommy and I like it. I love being able to be with my daughters all the time and enjoy them a lot. I also feel a need for regaining my own identity and this is now slowly becoming possible. They are getting older and I am having more time to myself.
I would work part time during my children school hour and a full time mother when they are home. I don't have children but for me, it has to be a must go to work and bring home the check. I don't like to depend on people bring the check to me, I like to go after it and earn it.
Im old fashioned..I dont like the idea of having children and then putting them in a Nursery or with a Child Minder whilst you are out at work all day...if you have children its your responsibility to look after them ....however some women have to work to make ends meet or to keep their career ..in that case dont have children....dont have what you cant afford.
There is a Child Minder at the end of our street I see small children dropped off at 7 am and picked up again at 6 pm.....some ready for school at that time..what time did those poor children have to be up and ready....? What quality time do they have with their parents ....? sorry if I offend anyone with my old fashioned views but I think if you are going to have children then look after them if you cant be a mum 24 hrs a day , then dont have children.
BEING A MUM (PARENT) IS A FULL TIME JOB NOT A PART TIME ONE !!
Just a few months ago, I was on both sides. I was a full-time working mom. My son went to my mom's for the day while my husband and I worked as teachers. I loved my job so much, and I knew he was in great hands and not just with strangers. When my daughter was born, something changed in me. While I still loved my job, I knew I needed to be home with my kids and raise them myself ( I wrote a hub about it..).
The loss of a pycheck has been rough, but we're making it. While being a SAHM is not for everyone, it ended up being the best choice for me.
In my 17 years as a mom I've done both at one time or another. Working away from home with little ones certainly has it's ups and downs. It's really not an easy thing to leave your child in the care of someone else - especially if there are problems. (And there are all sorts of possible problems). However, staying home with small kids has its ups and downs as well. I really struggled with being a full time stay-at-home-mom.
For me, I found that working part-time is a great solution (especially if you can find very creative childcare options like close friends/trading babysitting/grandparents/daddy's off hours) Working part-time still gives you plenty of time with your kids, gives you some income, gets mom out and talking to grown-ups a little each week, and can help your child adapt to being away from mommy for short periods of time. So to answer your question... if I had the choice (meaning money was not an issue), I would work part-time... no more than 20 hours a week.
Even when kids are older it can be difficult to work full-time. I'm very fortunate to have a flexible schedule at my work so that if I'm needed for any reason, I can be there. However, I constantly feel that I do not have enough time and have learned to let certain things go in order to make time for the important things in life. I hope that all of my kids know that they are much more important to me than my career.
I don't have kids but I would want to stay at home for sure. My mom stayed at home with me until I got older then she worked part-time. I know having her there was best for me.
First, I question why anyone would feel 'less' accomplished by making an effort to succeed at parenting, which is the most important job/career EVER. My heart goes out to those who want to be THERE for their children, but are financially forced to work outside the home. As for those who 'can't handle it', or rather, 'won't' handle it, shame on you for having children in the first place. We are living in the 21st century. There's no reason or excuse for unwanted children anymore.
Looking backwards in life...............
I would give up ANY career goal, to be with my kids.
Women, you CAN have it all. But YOU CAN NOT have it all at the same time.
Do not "save" it for the grandkids.................give it to your own children.
If I had the choice I would rather stay at home. Unfortunately I have to work right now because I'm the bread winner. Having said that I understand the need that some have to go and work outside the home. Since I've had to go back to work I have noticed that I do not take the time I have at home for granted and I spend more meaningful time with them. It is also less stressful b/c I know how hard I have worked that day and what my check will be.
I am currently a stay at home mom. It's been a big adjustment with accepting this as my "job" and life. I had this mindset, as some other women have, that I went to school and should use my education. I kind of looked at being a stay at home mom for "myself" as not a real job or of value. In time, I saw that going out to work for a paycheck wouldn't benefit my family. Childcare would eat up that money and I would miss out on certain experiences with my children. Plus, I have seen many of times I would have had to call off because of sick child. I don't regret being a SAHM, though an extra would be helpful. I plan to write a hub about my experience.
by Victoria Stephens 8 years ago
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