How do you decide to be a stay-at-home mom or a working mom?
Taking care of the family, children,and stay at home or work or balance both. Its a tough decision. This hub discusses some of the issues that has to be considered before making this decision. read more
That is a question that can have different answers depending on how you prioritize your life. The most important factor for a lot of people is whether or not it is financially feasible. I am a stay-at-home mother of two and my husband works very hard to make that possible for me. While we are by no means rich, we can afford all the necessities and still put a little aside for savings. And after being a stay-at-home mother for over 2 years, I can not imagine any one else looking after my kids and raising them better than I do. In fact the very thought is horrifying to me. And to see how their eyes light up when they ask me to play and I say yes is enough to make me never want to leave them to go to work.
Choosing not to work also does not have to be a permanent decision. I myself am thinking about getting a regular job after both my children are in school. But I fully believe that if you are willing and able to be home with them for the earliest years when they grow and develop the fastest, it will be the most rewarding decision you will ever make both for you and for them.
For most women around the world, the option of having this decision is not one that would cross their minds. Most women throughout time have had to work "outside" the home even if it meant tending their gardens, milking the cows, feeding and slaughtering the fowl.
I make no claims of being anyone who can give advice about children or child rearing, but I can respond with experience and tales.
I have three sons, 19,16, and 10. I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I was for the first nine months of my life. The twists and turns of life made my staying at home financially impossible.
The transition to working mom was heart wrenching for me, but my little one loved the new activities, new people, new foods, etc.
Your children will be fine if you work outside the home and they will be fine if you stay at home. Both scenarios require time and attention, both have their up sides and both have their down sides. I could list lots of those sides, but they vary from family to family, so you will need to consider them in relation to your family.
Ultimately your children need to know you love them, they need to know the behavioral limits of the family, and they need to be safe. It is not a guarantee that children who are in day care will be harmed OR that children who are at home are safe. (Recall most people who are molested as children are harmed by people they know as close family friends or family members.)
Talk to your children, love them, expect them to screw up, hold them accountable for their foibles, and again love them.
Stay at home/work outside the home? Do what is best for your family. No matter what you do, you will be tired, you will be happy, your children will need more than you can give, you will want to give things they do not want, and everyone grows up!
It's a wild wonderful ride. Enjoy.
Depends on your needs day to day. Either way, as JNLinden says, is it financially feasible?? Neither way seems good if that question leaves a chasm of indecision and doubt in your mind that wont go away... If you are focused about working from home, you will be someone with a route map i.e. the skills needed, the services offered, profit and losses known, market strength and credibility. If a working Mom, then finances are in order (presumably as you chose a suitable role) but is it a balanced life i.e. taking care of any children, other responsibilities. If you have a clear specialist skill that can be marketed easily or at least over a known period, then stay-at-home mom, otherwise best go the working mom route.
Evaluate your needs as a family versus your wants. If you need the money to pay the mortgage, feed your children, clothe them(hot spoil them with name brads), or provide a reasonable and simple amount of entertainment or lyfestyle you can all enjoy as a family( going to an arcade, a movie, dinner together) at least once a week. Family time is important. Also evaluate your needs as a woman. If being home all the time is deppressing and overwhelming to you so that you have to be on medications to be happy. You may want to consider a part-time position doing something mostly to get you out of the house and around other grow-ups even if it doesn't pay much. If money problems are a stressor in your family-definitely seek a job and acommodate your housework to be easier with the additional money you make (paper plates, cups etc.) free-time from work(go out with your family). I have to say the other option is to have your spouse get another job if money is the issue, but I believe this can lead to a man overwhelmed and tired and unable to meet your needs as a family due to too heavy of a workload, which may then become a stressor itself, but consider both of your needs and your goals as a family. Children predominantly alone at home is not a good idea.
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