Does the gap in age between your kids matter when it comes to sibling rivalry?

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (5 posts)
  1. katdiaz2011 profile image60
    katdiaz2011posted 7 years ago

    Does the gap in age between your kids matter when it comes to sibling rivalry?

    Is it better to have them closer in age or not?

  2. lburmaster profile image82
    lburmasterposted 7 years ago

    Sometimes age does matter. You seem to have a few questions about your children. Try reading a book about Child Birth Order. The order children are born into a family reflects in their personality. The oldest child has a few qualities that are inflicted upon him that the others don't have. Then the middle has the same thing, as with the youngest. Because of their roles in the family they add on certain qualities to become better with their roles. It's interesting.

  3. profile image69
    win-winresourcesposted 7 years ago

    Good Morning Katdiaz-

    In the animal kingdom (yes, we are all animals) there is an instinct to be dominant in order to perpetuate the species with the strongest genes.  As humans we interfere with the normal sequence of events by intervening in the establishment of the pecking order to protect a younger or smaller child from an older, stronger child.  We, obviously, use our adult size, intelligence and otherwise to accomplish this.  This "artificial" intervention is not abnormal, wrong, or necessairly deleterious to the development of either the older or younger child.  It's just the way our species acts normally.

    This does not mean that the children will not attempt to exercise their innate needs to establish dominance.  Indeed, they should.  It's all part of their growth where they hone the skills necessary to cope with their environment. 

    That said, as the age range between children grows, the things they have in common decrease as do the opportunities to be together.  A 12 year old child will have little in common with a 2 year old, other than perhaps to babysit.  In that case they are the authority figure and not in competition.

    So, to try to address your question directly:  Since there is nothing bad or wrong about children trying to do what their genes direct, the question evolves to other issues.  Your (the adult) emotional situation, your financial position, your living situation, your career situation - you get the idea.  Since it is your ultimate responsibility to provide the best care you can to your children (regardless of age), you are best off planning your family with these practical issues firmly in mind.

    As an aside, there is exactly 5 years between my two (now grown).  The younger always perceived a competition while the older had no such feelings.  Prespective is really something isn't it?

    Oh, my mother always said that you don't want two children in diapers at the same time.

    Hope this helps.


  4. duffsmom profile image60
    duffsmomposted 7 years ago

    I don't think so.  I've know families where there 1 year, 2 years, 3 and 4 years and still it exists.  I think it is not about age but the fact that the most important people on earth to the child (mother and father) now have someone else taking love and time away from them - or so they perceive.

  5. Lisas-thoughts101 profile image61
    Lisas-thoughts101posted 7 years ago

    I guess answering this question is going to be a matter of personal experience.  I have cousins that were two years apart and brothers that were 16 months apart and in both cases the sibling rivalry was awful.  My brothers were 5 and 6 years older than me and my children were 8 years apart and sibling rivalry was almost non-existent in both those scenarios.  I can't help but believe the closer in age the worse it will be because the oldest one didn't get very much one on one time and is forced to be the "big" kid before he/she is actually a big kid.  Sometimes when they are older they have a more parental feeling about the younger child that establishes a more loving bond, in my opinion "for what it is worth."


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)