Does the gap in age between your kids matter when it comes to sibling rivalry?
Is it better to have them closer in age or not?
Sometimes age does matter. You seem to have a few questions about your children. Try reading a book about Child Birth Order. The order children are born into a family reflects in their personality. The oldest child has a few qualities that are inflicted upon him that the others don't have. Then the middle has the same thing, as with the youngest. Because of their roles in the family they add on certain qualities to become better with their roles. It's interesting.
Good Morning Katdiaz-
In the animal kingdom (yes, we are all animals) there is an instinct to be dominant in order to perpetuate the species with the strongest genes. As humans we interfere with the normal sequence of events by intervening in the establishment of the pecking order to protect a younger or smaller child from an older, stronger child. We, obviously, use our adult size, intelligence and otherwise to accomplish this. This "artificial" intervention is not abnormal, wrong, or necessairly deleterious to the development of either the older or younger child. It's just the way our species acts normally.
This does not mean that the children will not attempt to exercise their innate needs to establish dominance. Indeed, they should. It's all part of their growth where they hone the skills necessary to cope with their environment.
That said, as the age range between children grows, the things they have in common decrease as do the opportunities to be together. A 12 year old child will have little in common with a 2 year old, other than perhaps to babysit. In that case they are the authority figure and not in competition.
So, to try to address your question directly: Since there is nothing bad or wrong about children trying to do what their genes direct, the question evolves to other issues. Your (the adult) emotional situation, your financial position, your living situation, your career situation - you get the idea. Since it is your ultimate responsibility to provide the best care you can to your children (regardless of age), you are best off planning your family with these practical issues firmly in mind.
As an aside, there is exactly 5 years between my two (now grown). The younger always perceived a competition while the older had no such feelings. Prespective is really something isn't it?
Oh, my mother always said that you don't want two children in diapers at the same time.
Hope this helps.
I don't think so. I've know families where there 1 year, 2 years, 3 and 4 years and still it exists. I think it is not about age but the fact that the most important people on earth to the child (mother and father) now have someone else taking love and time away from them - or so they perceive.
I guess answering this question is going to be a matter of personal experience. I have cousins that were two years apart and brothers that were 16 months apart and in both cases the sibling rivalry was awful. My brothers were 5 and 6 years older than me and my children were 8 years apart and sibling rivalry was almost non-existent in both those scenarios. I can't help but believe the closer in age the worse it will be because the oldest one didn't get very much one on one time and is forced to be the "big" kid before he/she is actually a big kid. Sometimes when they are older they have a more parental feeling about the younger child that establishes a more loving bond, in my opinion "for what it is worth."
by Yvette Stupart PhD 3 years ago
What are the best ways to manage sibling rivalry?Parents sometimes get very frustrated with the fighting among their children. What steps can parents take to lessen sibling conflict?
by Rosalie 4 years ago
Is my sister's behavior simply sibling rivalry or something more?My mother says that a little sibling rivalry is OK. She says that my sister chasing me as a kid down the hall to my room with a butcher knife is normal sibling stuff. Now that we are older and I have moved away, she can't even stand...
by J. Kumm 8 years ago
Is sibling rivalry something a family should address with the middle child? What is it like to be a middle child and how can your family help you feel better about yourself?
by jagandelight 8 years ago
When does sibling rivalry stops? My boys are 18 & 28 and they are still at it.
by Jamie Lee Hamann 6 years ago
Anyone out there in Hubville know of a good book dealing with "Sibling Rivalry"?
by iwriteforyou 5 years ago
Is sibling rivalry good or bad ?Does sibling rivalry have it's benefits e.g does it give us a competitive edge, help us cope with failure and aid our development or is it just harmful behaviour which should be discouraged ?
Copyright © 2019 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
HubPages Inc, a part of Maven Inc.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|