To what extent and from what age we should give liberty to our children?

1. 59

   neelu sinhaposted 12 years ago

   To what extent and from what age we should give liberty to  our children?
   
   I have a six yrs old daughter and each and every time she wanted to do things by her own I really find difficult to tackle this situation. I wanted to make her understand about the things but she is so stubborn and finally I have to get harsh with her.
   
   

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2. 0

   Garifaliaposted 12 years ago

   A common problem among parents. I had this problem with my oldest son when he was in puberty. When a child is in his/her early years parents can pass messages by reading story books which teach such lessons to their children. When they are teenagers you need to give them breathing space and allow them to express their feelings and ideas freely without judging them.
   But no matter what you tell them if your behaviour is contrary to what you preach, your words will be in vein. It goes without saying, therefore, that we be the model we want them to follow. Most of us parents don't realize that our children are our mirror; they imitate US. In order to give your daughter more liberty it's a process of showing trust so that she can become trustworthy and earn her liberties. You can explain to her that that's how life works and give her specific examples of this.Good luck.

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3. 59

   neelu sinhaposted 12 years ago

   Thanks Garifalia for your valuable suggestion. We have to understand this that we are the role models for  our children.

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4. 60

   Tnagariaposted 12 years ago

   Hello Neetlu Sinha
   I understand your concern, but you must understand what I am going to tell you now, according to the ericsonian stages of development ages 6-9, or the play age stage is crutial in a childs development. Here is when the the child starts to move away from the mother trying to do things by themselves. Attachment starts to develop from parents to self, they find themselves with a need to prove themselves and their worth in school. This is an age where the child wants to learn to depend on himself, set their own goals and achieve them. If the child is encouraged, she develops the confidence to set all her future goals about her education, career, etc and accomplish them with ease. We all after a certain age have to learn to love ourselves because our parents are not always going to accompany us everywhere we go, you must encourage your child to love herself, because children who don't learn to love themselves at this age she will always depend on love from another source, I am sure you know off people who constantly disapprove of themselves, are very low on confidence, take all the blame of others on themselves, do not have the courage to do anything on their own because they are afraid they will not be able to do anything they want to indipendantly.
   Your daughter is going through more emotional changes than you are, you must understand her, she will learn everything that you tell her.
   Another thing I want to tell u is that your child always mirrors your belief, so incase you were not allowed to express your desires and emotions or were brought up in a very discipline oriented family you will attract the same behavior from your daughter. Incase you need further help, write to me at T.nagaria44@gmail.com.
   Good luck

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