Why do oldest children tend to be cast aside and not paid sufficient attention in
That's what you think? From my perspective, I got more attention than my other siblings. As the oldest, my mother treasured me, took me everywhere, always bought me sweet treats. Now I might think that the oldest children don't get attention in families of 12. In those families, the oldest child turns into extra adults. The parents believe they need a hand with keeping track of the other children and they enforce their own child to do their job. It's extremely saddening and I believe it could qualify as abuse.
Yes, many oldest children are quite disposable in large families. They are either cast aside for the younger ones or they are forced to be surrogate parents. In families of 2 children, oldest children receive individualized parental attention.
The bigger families I've seen, they turn out to be surrogate parents.
Yes in large &very large families, oldest children RAISE their younger siblings.One can say THEY are PARENTIFIED children.Oldest children in large families have NO childhood(written a hub on this subject, please check it and read, iburmaster!)
In my opinion it's because parents put in a full effort (they can concentrate all of their energy on the one child) with their first child. And by that I mean (not always in a bad way) they are overprotective, anal, and hovering. This, in turn, tends to make the first born more of a conformist to the rules and in the eyes of the parent, more responsible. Parents trust them, so they leave them alone.
What you are said is so true. Parents see the oldest child as mature and more responsible thus they believe that the latter doesn't need them as much so they are cast aside to either fend for themselves or watch the younger ones(if a large family).
yeah, my parents cast me aside as the oldest child and a female. They treasure my brother more than anything else. There are only 2 of us. I would say this is due to each culture, religion beliefs or tradition. In chinese community, males are paid more attention and received more love because they could bring along the surname to the next generation.
That is harshly put but I would say very close to what does happen. Although parents love all of their children, the oldest becomes self sufficient first. Parents with more than one child end up with a time crunch and unfortunately the oldest child pays.
The oldest child sees his/her loving parents fawning over and adoring this new addition. The child doesn't remember when he or she got that same adoring attention but knows this little interloper is sure taking up all mom and dad's time. And so it continues as more children are born and the oldest becomes a secondary parent or free babysitter.
When I was growing up, my best buddy was the only daughter in a family with 5 kids. We took her little brother with us everywhere! She constantly had the 2 year old. (We were 13 or 14). Even at that age I thought it was so wrong.
Parents don't see oldest children as children but as adults. They feel that their oldest children don't need them as much as their younger children. Studies have shown that oldest children are shown the LEAST affection by their parents. They are also treated the MOST DISPARAGINGLY by parents. Oldest children are cast aside unless they are pressed into familial servitude by their parents & younger siblings.
Oldest children are treated as adults as soon as they can reason. They have the SHORTEST childhoods & are expected to grow up quickly. They aren't allowed to be normal children. They are punished more & harsher than their younger siblings will be at the same age. Oldest children are expected to make their own way & make the way of their younger siblings.
Parents are less indulgent towards their oldest child. They believe that since their child is the oldest, h/she should assume THE MOST responsibility. It isn't usual for oldest child to parent/raise younger siblings, oftentimes forfeiting their own childhoods & adolescence. Oldest children aren't allowed to have normative childhoods & adolescence. As a result, oldest children oftentimes become depressed, even suicidal. They feel that they are SLAVES to their parents & younger siblings. Many have such stressed lives that they want to end it all as their lives are nothing but harrowing.
Being the oldest is THE LEAST desired birth order. There are MORE DISADVANTAGES than ADVANTAGES in being the oldest child. Oldest child are abused by both parents & siblings. They treat their parents & siblings better than the latter would even them. They are underappreciated, even unappreciated.
by Penny Godfirnon 2 years ago
If your were the oldest child in your family were you given huge responsibilities?Were you given responsibilites beyond your years and were you able to accomplish them or did you suffer from failing your parents!
by Grace Marguerite Williams 2 years ago
I believe that the oldest child in a family have the toughest and roughest path to go. He/she was automatically dethroned upon the birth/births of a successive sibling/siblings. He/she is often held to a higher and stricter standard than his/her younger siblings, ...
by nanderson500 7 years ago
Would you rather be the oldest child, in the middle, or the youngest?
by Grace Marguerite Williams 6 years ago
What causes parents and other adult figures to be quite unsympathetic, even ruthless in theirattitudes and expectations towards the oldest child in the family?
by Cindy Lawson 7 years ago
How many children do you think is too many to have?There is a woman on the island where I live who survives only on benefits and now has 14 children. She openly admitted she got jealous when her 16 year old daughter got pregnant last year. The Husband left her a couple of years back, and most of...
by Kevin Peter 2 years ago
Elder children always have a feeling that they are avoided by their parents. What can parents do about it?
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