Why do oldest children tend to be cast aside and not paid sufficient attention i

Jump to Last Post 1-6 of 6 discussions (11 posts)
  1. gmwilliams profile image85
    gmwilliamsposted 7 years ago

    Why do oldest children tend to be cast aside and not paid sufficient attention in

    multichild families?

  2. lburmaster profile image81
    lburmasterposted 7 years ago

    That's what you think? From my perspective, I got more attention than my other siblings. As the oldest, my mother treasured me, took me everywhere, always bought me sweet treats. Now I might think that the oldest children don't get attention in families of 12. In those families, the oldest child turns into extra adults. The parents believe they need a hand with keeping track of the other children and they enforce their own child to do their job. It's extremely saddening and I believe it could qualify as abuse.

    1. gmwilliams profile image85
      gmwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, many oldest children are quite disposable in  large families.  They are either cast aside for the younger ones or they are forced to be surrogate parents.  In families of 2 children, oldest children receive individualized parental attention.

    2. lburmaster profile image81
      lburmasterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      The bigger families I've seen, they turn out to be surrogate parents.

    3. gmwilliams profile image85
      gmwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yes in large &very large families, oldest children RAISE their younger siblings.One can say THEY are PARENTIFIED children.Oldest children in large families have NO childhood(written a hub on this subject, please check it and read, iburmaster!)

  3. Boulism profile image74
    Boulismposted 7 years ago

    In my opinion it's because parents put in a full effort (they can concentrate all of their energy on the one child) with their first child.  And by that I mean (not always in a bad way) they are overprotective, anal, and hovering.  This, in turn, tends to make the first born more of a conformist to the rules and in the eyes of the parent, more responsible.   Parents trust them, so they leave them alone.

    1. gmwilliams profile image85
      gmwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      What you are said is so true.  Parents see the oldest child as mature and more responsible thus they believe that the latter doesn't need them as much so they are cast aside to either fend for themselves or watch the younger ones(if a large family).

  4. peachpurple profile image78
    peachpurpleposted 7 years ago

    yeah, my parents cast me aside as the oldest child and a female. They treasure my brother more than anything else. There are only 2 of us. I would say this is due to each culture, religion beliefs or tradition. In chinese community, males are paid more attention and received more love because they could bring along the surname to the next generation.

  5. duffsmom profile image60
    duffsmomposted 7 years ago

    That is harshly put but I would say very close to what does happen.  Although parents love all of their children, the oldest becomes self sufficient first. Parents with more than one child end up with a time crunch and unfortunately the oldest child pays.

    The oldest child sees his/her loving parents fawning over and adoring this new addition. The child doesn't remember when he or she got that same adoring attention but knows this little interloper is sure taking up all mom and dad's time.  And so it continues as more children are born and the oldest becomes a secondary parent or free babysitter.

    When I was growing up, my best buddy was the only daughter in a family with 5 kids.  We took her little brother with us everywhere!  She constantly had the 2 year old.  (We were 13 or 14).  Even at that age I thought it was so wrong.

    1. gmwilliams profile image85
      gmwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      This is de rigueur in the lives of oldest children in large to very large families.   Oldest child is no longer child but parentified.

  6. gmwilliams profile image85
    gmwilliamsposted 2 years ago

    Parents don't see oldest children as children but as adults.  They feel that their oldest children don't need them as much as their younger children.  Studies have shown that oldest children are shown the LEAST affection by their parents.  They are also treated the MOST DISPARAGINGLY by parents.  Oldest children are cast aside unless they are pressed into familial servitude by their parents & younger siblings.

    Oldest children are treated as adults as soon as they can reason.  They have the SHORTEST childhoods & are expected to grow up quickly.  They aren't allowed to be normal children.   They are punished more & harsher than their younger siblings will be at the same age.  Oldest children are expected to make their own way & make the way of their younger siblings.

    Parents are less indulgent towards their oldest child.  They believe that since their child is the oldest, h/she should assume THE MOST responsibility.  It isn't usual for oldest child to parent/raise younger siblings, oftentimes forfeiting their own childhoods & adolescence.   Oldest children aren't allowed to have normative childhoods & adolescence.   As a result, oldest children oftentimes become depressed, even suicidal.  They feel that they are SLAVES to their parents & younger siblings.   Many have such stressed lives that they want to end it all as their lives are nothing but harrowing.

    Being the oldest is THE LEAST desired birth order.   There are MORE DISADVANTAGES than ADVANTAGES in being the oldest child.  Oldest child are abused by both parents & siblings.  They treat their parents & siblings better than the latter would even them.  They are underappreciated, even unappreciated. 



This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)