How do you fix a broken family

1. 75

   Author Cherylposted 12 years ago

   How do you fix a broken family
   
   Is there really any way to fix a broken family when no one wants to help fix it.   Should one person be responsible for making sure that everyone else talks to each other?  If the parents never bothered to care if the family was a family should the children be blamed for not having a relationship with each other.   How can you let the guilt go when no one else cares?

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2. 0

   Tayshiaposted 12 years ago

   Hi Cheryl. This is such a hard question, and one that is not too uncommon.  I have some fractures in my family and I know how painful it can be.  The truth is, you cannot make family members respond.  Some will be relieved if you are the 'go to' for keeping up contact, some will ignore you.  My advice to you would be go by your gut instinct.  Perhaps cast a wide net, reach out to everyone, and see who responds.  Those will be the people that have a sense of family and who will be a positive connection for you as a family member.  Try not to put yourself in a position to be hurt by those who may have no interest, they might be going through things with their immediate family and now is not a good time for them.  Try and not take I personally and try and stay positive.  Take good care...

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3. 71

   lburmasterposted 12 years ago

   There is not much you can do. Something drastic will occur for the family to bond. Even then, it is not certain that the family will become closer. But it is always a good idea for one person in the family to communicate with everyone. Try to have a family weekend during the year. Maybe for Christmas. Try putting yourself in their lives by sharing a hobby.

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4. 72

   twig22bendposted 12 years ago

   Hello Cheryl. I find that this is a big issue with many families. Sometimes it is impossible to find out where the problem lies. Most of the time it is generated at home from the parents and their relationship with the rest of the family.
   
   There seems to be some underlying issues with the adults of the family. Someone might not have treated them kindly and they shy away from those family members, and keep the children away from them or have no kind words for them, which is reflected in the family relationship. A sense.of coldness is generated throughout the family .
   
   I have found that some parents are cold and show little love which is passed on to their children, therefore the children don't know how to express love and caring. It is never to late to learn.
   
   You are not responsible  for their behavior, especially if you don't know the reason. but you have to try to reach out, if that makes you feel better. If you don't get a positive response, then move on to make sure that you create the kind of relationships that you want in your life and pass it on to your children and family. 
   
   Don't look to others to make it right for you ,make your own caring and loving life.

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5. 61

   duffsmomposted 12 years ago

   Unfortunately, when something as complex as a family is broken, it will take more than one person to put it back together and get it functioning again. I don't believe one person should take on the burden for putting things right.  That kind of pressure would be so stressful to handle. 
   
   My advise is for the willing person to interact with their family members as much as they are comfortable in doing. You simply cannot fix other people - you have to take care of yourself and if you (or whomever) enjoy family members, then continue to do so.
   
   I don't believe children raised without the benefit of family bonding can be blamed  for not forming a bond later in life.  Letting go of guilt is a tough process and best left to discuss with a professional counselor

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6. 52

   celafoeposted 12 years ago

   Why let it bother you?  If someone does not want to spend time with me, no problem, I spend my time and enjoy those are are mutually interested in a relationship.   The rest are losing out ,but that is their problem and I dont worry about it.    Life is too short to let others upset you.

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7. 53

   CrazyHatFireDrillposted 12 years ago

   If there is truly no interest in reconnecting, the short, harsh answer is no.  Make a true family of your own by connecting with supportive and loving friends.  That said however, Don't Give Up Just Yet!  It should be the parents responsibility to create and maintain those close familial connections.  Even good parents have obtuse moments.  I suggest you sit down and write everything down, how you feel and how you came to feel that way etc., in a letter and hand it to them then walk away while they read it.  That way there will be no back and forth dialogue to distract them from this message they need to fully absorb.  Make sure to do this at a time you know they won't be feeling rushed, like before work.  As far as sibling relationships go, those can be hard.  We tend to get into bad patterns with our sibs and have a hard time breaking bad habits, the put downs and nasty comments that we don't think about when we say and don't realize the long term hurt caused.  My best advice is to change the pattern and approach them as a true and loving friend.  Make sure they know you are sincere.  Friends come in and out of our lives but family stands together, linked like the bricks in a wall, against all the hardships that come our way.

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8. 62

   EmpatheticAdvisorposted 12 years ago

   Cheryl,
   
   The hard and fast answer, is no, you can't fix it unless others want that too.
   I have unfortunately ended up in several broken family situations, that of my nuclear family, that of my step family and now that of my in law family.
   
   In each case I tried to be the peace maker, and no one wanted to join in.
   
   My best advice is to make a family of your own creation, as we can pick our friends and  many of today's "families" can be nontraditional and include those not related by blood.
   
   Hope this helps.
   
   EA

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9. 85

   peachpurpleposted 12 years ago

   My family is half broken and my best friend is having the same problem. I told myself and her that we have to hang on for the sake of the children. We are penniless, jobless and out of shape. Just blame on our luck for meeting someone hateful.

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10. 59

    Penny Gposted 10 years ago

    Some things can't be fixed, nor should they be. Depending on the situation, and those involved, it would take a lot of cooperation and a group want and need.

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11. 53

    PMARTINposted 10 years ago

    Ehhh I dont know about some of the comments. We do a lot of blaming on parents..especially our negative characteristics. There is a point when we become adults, we can chose to be like mom or opposite mom. Everything else bad that happens to a person is suppose to be a lesson of what to avoid. I dont hate because someone else hated--I ll dislike you based on what you did to me. If my parents were cold, why am I allowed to use that as an excuse to be pathetic at the age 35?

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12. 48

    Zarafaithposted 8 years ago

    I understand what it's like to have a broken family. I personally went through a lot of obstacles with my family, if you can call it that.
    
    I have 3 older brothers and we've all grown apart with each passing year. I guess when you're young, your world is smaller so you surround yourself with family and friends. But as we get older, the more responsibilities we each carry tend to drive people apart. You can't make people see your own perspective and you can't change people's actions.
    
    Most of the time, people tend to have kids before they're emotionally focused. So most parents don't realize that the family is broken. They think this is just part of life. The more you grow up, the further you grow apart.

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13. 60

    Alan Graceposted 7 years ago

    If you are suffering from any guilt then you can try to practice this in your life https://goo.gl/oo5NPm

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14. 51

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