What to do if your older child bullies the younger one?
Your older child is a bully. How to protect the younger one in your absence?
Family issues are always complex.
The best method would be to talk to the elder to understand the reason for him to torment the youngest.
Usually this happens a lot due to the jealousy of the older with the younger, for having stolen the space that was before him.
Converse! Converse! and Converse!
Show the love, it's important.
Do understand that the youngest part of the family.
Reward when this act properly with the newest.
This is something that should never go overlooked because it is believed that bullying starts at home. It sounds as if you need to have a sit down with both kids to find out what exactly is going on.Counselling may even be in order to address underlying problems.
The whole bullying definition is starting to go too far in my opinion. It is and always has been normal for an older siblings to pick on the next child. Boys fuss with each other. Even older female children pick on little brothers. So really I guess it would depend on your definition of bullying. I have three children. As long as they aren't killing each other or becoming a safety hazard I let them fuss. It teaches them problem solving and independence. If all else fails moms should always be there to reassure and give loving hugs.
The oldest child may feel slighted by the parents in favor of the youngest child. The youngest is often a quite skilled and adept manipulator. He/she is the one who often harasses the oldest child and when the latter defend himself/herself, the former cries foul, citing bullying. Of course, the parents will be on the side of the youngest child because he/she is "the baby", "the innocent" and " do not know any better."
Also many oldest children are treated the most harshly by the parent. They are also discarded by the parent in favor of the youngest child. Of course, the oldest children will feel resentment towards this youngest child and will take out his/her angst and/or frustration on the youngest child, that is only human nature. In addition to that, youngest children are oftentimes the parents' favorite and receive the most preferential of treatment while oldest children receive the most differential treatment. Of course, this parental favoritism is bound to cause further resentment, even hatred on the part of the oldest child towards the youngest child. Many favorite children are often bullied by the less favored children in the family as a result of such unfair parental treatment.
Then there are oldest children who believe that because they are the oldest, they have the power to treat the youngest sibling as they please. They believe that since they are the oldest, might=power=right. They see their power as pure power and carte blanche to exercise their liberties towards the youngest child.
In order to not to foster bullying and/or otherwise aggressive behavior on the part of the oldest child towards the youngest child, treat ALL children fairly. Realize that the oldest child is still a child. Do not expect him/her to be always be the perfect and stoic one. Oldest children deserve a normative childhood and adolescence also. Do not overburden the oldest child with so much responsibilities that he/she does not have a normative childhood.
As far as the youngest child goes, do not coddle and baby him/her. Also give him/her responsibilities at the same age that the oldest child start receiving responsibilities. If the youngest child does something wrong, punish him/her as you would the oldest child. Do not treat him/her preferentially over the oldest child. Administer discipline to him/her as you would the oldest child. Also, do not forget to regularly hug the oldest child.
my daughter doesn't bully her bro because their age gap is too far, 12 years apart. However, if she does, just correct her not to make the situation worsen.
by Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago
Frank J. Sulloway in his breakout bestseller, BORN TO REBEL, indicated that one adopts attitudes and respond to the environment, familial or outside, based upon one's respective birth order. Dr. Sulloway indicated that oldest children tend to be more conservative and are not...
by Grace Marguerite Williams 13 months ago
I believe that the oldest child in a family have the toughest and roughest path to go. He/she was automatically dethroned upon the birth/births of a successive sibling/siblings. He/she is often held to a higher and stricter standard than his/her younger siblings, ...
by Penny Godfirnon 13 months ago
If your were the oldest child in your family were you given huge responsibilities?Were you given responsibilites beyond your years and were you able to accomplish them or did you suffer from failing your parents!
by nanderson500 6 years ago
Would you rather be the oldest child, in the middle, or the youngest?
by jagandelight 13 months ago
Do you think an only child is better off more than they are with siblings?
by Sumi 4 months ago
Why is that the youngest child gets most attention in a family?Not always, but usually that's the scenario. May be in 70% of the cases..!?!
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