What to do if your older child bullies the younger one?

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  1. thumbi7 profile image61
    thumbi7posted 8 years ago

    What to do if your older child bullies the younger one?

    Your older child is a bully. How to protect the younger one in your absence?

  2. Ancillotti profile image61
    Ancillottiposted 8 years ago

    Family issues are always complex.
    The best method would be to talk to the elder to understand the reason for him to torment the youngest.
    Usually this happens a lot due to the jealousy of the older with the younger, for having stolen the space that was before him.
    Converse! Converse! and Converse!
    Show the love, it's important.
    Do understand that the youngest part of the family.
    Reward when this act properly with the newest.

    1. gmwilliams profile image83
      gmwilliamsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      SPOT ON, brother, you have hit the NAIL on the head.  Of course, it is jealousy.  Many oldest children feel DETHRONED when a younger sibling is born and they RESENT this!

  3. loveofnight profile image73
    loveofnightposted 8 years ago

    This is something that should never go overlooked because it is believed that bullying starts at home. It sounds as if you need to have a sit down with both kids to find out what exactly is going on.Counselling may even be in order to address underlying problems.

  4. peeples profile image94
    peeplesposted 8 years ago

    The whole bullying definition is starting to go too far in my opinion. It is and always has been normal for an older siblings to pick on the next child.  Boys fuss with each other. Even older female children pick on little brothers. So really I guess it would depend on your definition of bullying. I have three children. As long as they aren't killing each other or becoming a safety hazard I let them fuss. It teaches them problem solving and independence. If all else fails moms should always be there to reassure and give loving hugs.

  5. gmwilliams profile image83
    gmwilliamsposted 8 years ago


    The oldest child may feel slighted by the parents in favor of the youngest child. The youngest is often a quite skilled and adept manipulator.  He/she is the one who often harasses the oldest child and when the latter defend himself/herself, the former cries foul, citing bullying.  Of course, the parents will be on the side of the youngest child because he/she is "the baby", "the innocent" and " do not know any better."

    Also many oldest children are treated the most harshly by the parent.  They are also discarded by the parent in favor of the youngest child.  Of course, the oldest children will feel resentment towards this youngest child and will take out his/her angst and/or frustration on the youngest child, that is only human nature.  In addition to that, youngest children are oftentimes the parents' favorite and receive the most preferential of treatment while oldest children receive the most differential treatment.  Of course, this parental favoritism is bound to cause further resentment, even hatred on the part of the oldest child towards the youngest child.  Many favorite children are often bullied by the less favored children in the family as a result of such unfair parental treatment. 

    Then there are oldest children who believe that because they are the oldest, they have the power to treat the youngest sibling as they please.  They believe that since they are the oldest, might=power=right.  They see their power as pure power and carte blanche to exercise their liberties towards the youngest child. 

    In order to not to foster bullying and/or otherwise aggressive behavior on the part of the oldest child towards the youngest child, treat ALL children fairly.  Realize that the oldest child is still a child.  Do not expect him/her to be always be the perfect and stoic one.  Oldest children deserve a normative childhood and adolescence also.  Do not overburden the oldest child with so much responsibilities that he/she does not have a normative childhood. 

    As far as the youngest child goes, do not coddle and baby him/her.  Also give him/her responsibilities at the same age that the oldest child start receiving responsibilities.  If the youngest child does something wrong, punish him/her as you would the oldest child.  Do not treat him/her preferentially over the oldest child.  Administer discipline to him/her as you would the oldest child.  Also, do not forget to regularly hug the oldest child.

    1. peeples profile image94
      peeplesposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe I'm an awful parent for saying it but my oldest has and always will be my "favorite" yet he still picks on his little brother. You also can't treat all the same when they all have different personalities and abilities.

  6. peachpurple profile image80
    peachpurpleposted 8 years ago

    my daughter doesn't bully her bro because their age gap is too far, 12 years apart. However, if she does, just correct her not to make the situation worsen.


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