Does anyone have any advice for surviving days long, overnight company?

1. 69

   amiebutchkoposted 11 years ago

   Does anyone have any advice for surviving days long, overnight company?
   
   Living far from family, we have frequent overnight guests and some of them stay for up to five days to a week long.  They are not the easiest of guests (3 meals a day required kind of guests..).  Do you have any advice to help me keep my cool?  I am never rude, and try my best to just grin and bare it, but sometimes it sinks me into dread.... and then insanity.

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2. 72

   wrenchBiscuitposted 11 years ago

   Dear amiebutchko,
   
   Whether it be family or friends, if someone is making you uncomfortable in this manner,and since it appears to have happened more than once, we can only conclude:
   • These individuals are very selfish
   • These individuals have no social skills
   • These individuals don't care about you
   • All of the above
   It is not uncommon for a relative to use their status as leverage to fulfill a selfish need.It would not be rude of you to lay down the rules and then expect that your relatives abide by them.They owe you that much consideration. If this should cause them to become angry and disown you,then good riddance. If by following my advice you should become estranged from a particular relative,I will be happy to become their surrogate.Since I have misanthropic tendencies,I assure you I would never stay longer than a day or two. I prefer to cook for myself,and I would rather eat alone since I find the chewing of food to be a necessary, but disgusting habit. I am sure that I would quickly become a favorite uncle or cousin.

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   1. 69

      amiebutchkoposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      wrenchBiscuit, you are kind and very funny! I have no doubt I would enjoy your company much more than the individuals I am speaking of!!!!  Thank you so much for offering a kind ear!  It helped a lot and I will think of it as I am grinding my teeth!

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3. 0

   Christy Kirwanposted 11 years ago

   I had a similar problem: my roommate's mother used to come and stay, and she'd rearrange my things without my permission. It drove me crazy! The most important advice I can offer is to set boundaries. Be polite but firm. These people are guests in your home, and some hostess duties are to be expected, but it goes both ways: your roof, your rules! There's nothing wrong with letting guests know that while staying with you (presumably for free, and with food provided), they should respect your wishes.

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   1. 69

      amiebutchkoposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, Christy!!!!  I will try to take your advice!!!!!  I know it will help!

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   2. 76

      Seafarer Mamaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Well-put Christy.
      
      Also, make sure you have plenty of space allocated to having some alone time, to do something that helps you keep your energy centered. :0) Not sure if besides cooking all of their meals they also demand constant hand--holding?

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4. 61

   JayDee Sterlingposted 10 years ago

   Are you running a hotel or a bed and breakfast? If you answered no, then stop trying to figure out how to keep pretending you are running a hotel. Five to seven days is way too long to invade someone's home. You know the old saying "after 3 days fish and company start to stink..." How do you allow family to demand that you provide them with three meals a day for 5 to 7 days? Clearly you have too much "visiting/vacationing" room at your home and you are the woman when it comes to entertaining and the word is on the street about it. 
   
   Make some minor changes to your home, turn some of those comfy available bedrooms into a home office or a family movie room. Sure, you can do a pull out sofa, they are comfy as well, but typically not for five to seven nights in a row.
   
   You could also ask some of the nearby hotels if they could give you any special rates, because you have family visiting frequently.
   
   If everyone is popping by to see you, when do you get to do it to them? Perhaps, since folks have the ability to be away for five to seven days, you all as a family should start doing "mini family reunions" where you can get group rates and take family vacations to someplace like, Orlando! Food is available 24/7. Or go on a family cruise. Buffett 24/7.  Best wishes

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   1. 69

      amiebutchkoposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much for your response!  You made me smile.  I supposed I do roll out the red carpet a little too enthusiastically.  Its mostly two sets of grandparents that come from too far.  Unfortunately, its the in laws that overstay their welcome!

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5. 60

   J-Lynposted 8 years ago

   I could only imagine. I could think of a couple ways but not sure if it would help.
   SET BOUNDARIES
   Don't be passive aggressive. Be assertive.
   Its getting into your own personal life thats not healthy for you.
   Set rules, and be communicative.
   Let them know "hey i can't do dinner tonight but there are things in the fridge."
   i don't know if they are children or adults....that would also make a difference.

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