How do you live with only seeing your daughter once a week?

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  1. Brandon Rimes profile image60
    Brandon Rimesposted 4 years ago

    How do you live with only seeing your daughter once a week?

    i have split custudy but the mother is keeping her from me and trying to push me out of her life because she is now with my old best freind

  2. blessedp profile image81
    blessedpposted 4 years ago

    I can't truly answer because I'm not in your position.  But for me I would go crazy.  If you are closely attached to your child and you love her dearly it must be hard and no way can once per week be enough to spend with her.
    This will affect the bond that you have with her and she will grow apart from you.

    This is hard but keep trying, you would be amaze how things can turn good in a bad situation.

    All the best.

  3. wychic profile image88
    wychicposted 4 years ago

    With a LOT of time, coping mechanisms, and...well, more time. I only see my son every other week, plus every other holiday and a few weeks in the summer. For the first 2 1/2 years of his life, I was basically his sole caretaker and never away from him for more than a few hours. I finally got the courage to leave a bad situation, but didn't have the money for a lawyer, so my ex got everything he wanted.

    It's been 6 years now. It STILL feels horrible every bit of time he's not here. My ex's new wife (who moved in two weeks after I left) STILL tries to stir up drama and cause tension just because she can, and because she doesn't like that I won't disappear. I still go to wake him up in the mornings and realize he's not here only when I see his empty bed.

    But...there is a small ray of hope. I don't know how old your daughter is now, but I know that it started getting a bit easier when my son got old enough to remember better, and to express his own feelings about the situation. He remembers lessons and events from one visit to the next. He now appreciates time and attention more than the things people buys him. He's more curious about things, so there's more meaningful interaction. He can tell me how much he loves me, and loves being here with me. When he's with his dad, he can ask to call or email me instead of the zero contact between visits.

    It might not seem like it right now, but a "new normal" will start to show up as time goes on. Contrary to some beliefs, it will not damage your bond with your daughter if you make what time you do have with her count. The good news is, every parent has rights. If one parent tries to violate those rights, infringe on court-ordered custody arrangements, or try to interfere with the relationship the other parent has with the child, then they can be held accountable in court. Know your rights, and fight for them if she steps on them.

    1. Brandon Rimes profile image60
      Brandon Rimesposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      thank you very much needed to hear that and p.s shes turning three smile

    2. wychic profile image88
      wychicposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Right around the age my son was -- it was a tough transition, but I think more for me than for him. I think he was about 5 when it started getting a LOT better because of the huge changes in his memory and emotional maturity. Hang in there smile

  4. profile image0
    Dave36posted 4 years ago

    Hey buddy first off I'm assuming you mean how do you live with the feelings/emotions, & thoughts of maybe losing your daughter etc....The first thing you have to do in a situation like yours, is to fully accept the situation for how it is..You have to fully realize that whether you feel sad/depressed about the situation or not, it doesn't won't & can't change the situation..It is obvious which would be better for us, & that's where the training comes in..So you need to do feelings/emotions control practice, & as much mindful meditating as you can..Within months you could be in total control of your feelings/emotions & mind, & be in the best position to handle whatever situation you find yourself in....Your daughter will always be your daughter & will always love you, & if you stay in control of your feelings/emotions you will always (by law) be entitled to see her..Believe me buddy do the practice, & always keep moving forwards with your own life..Keep a positive mindset & never sit there "what iffing", always change your thinking to what you can do for the better....Stay away from booze or drugs until you have accepted the situation, & distract your mind from negative thoughts with mindful meditating.

 
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