How Do You Think Cruel Treatment Affects their Child As They Become An Adult?

Jump to Last Post 1-4 of 4 discussions (8 posts)
  1. threekeys profile image75
    threekeysposted 2 years ago

    How Do You Think Cruel Treatment Affects their Child As They Become An Adult?

    What are the ripple affects relationship wise? Financially? Community wise?....What are your thoughts, feelings and experiences?

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/13090437_f260.jpg

  2. profile image0
    Cissy1946posted 2 years ago

    You would almost have to define cruel treatment. When I was little I thought my mom was cruel because I had to eat my dinner before I could have dessert. Worse, she made me eat with a fork instead of my fingers. Was she being cruel? No, she was teaching me what I needed to know to exist in society. When I was little parents were still spanking their children for transgressions. Did I think that was cruel? Of course. But first, a spanking consisted of being turned over her knees and swatted on the bottom once or twice and whatever the transgression, it was never repeated.
    Maybe a better way to put it is that there were consequences for actions that were not acceptable. As an adult I appreciate that lesson and always take consequences into consideration when making decisions. I think one of the things wrong today is that people don't believe their actions deserve consequences because they've never learned that bad behavior invokes consequences.

    1. threekeys profile image75
      threekeysposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      That is a important interpretation you made cissy. Yes it would have been better to have reframed my question as put by you...your lead into the last paragraph of your response.

    2. ptosis profile image82
      ptosisposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Your experience doesn't seem to reflect the image of emotional abuse shown with the question.

    3. profile image0
      Cissy1946posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      No, abuse never existed. The actual question doesn't specify 'abuse' and it's been my experience to be very very careful when using the term or making an allegation concerning abuse. I was disciplined, not abused. Too many are abused just to abuse.

  3. ptosis profile image82
    ptosisposted 2 years ago

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/13090601_f260.jpg

    Going by your picture: those who experienced emotional abuse were affected in the parts of their brain responsible for self-awareness.

    "changes in the somatosensory cortex, the area that process input from the body to create sensations and perception,"  - Jens Pruessner,

    "High Arousal (Fear) = Impaired Prefrontal Cortex Stress chemicals disable the mid cortex and limbic brain takes over So what activates the Prefrontal and Medial Cortex? - Meditation and mindfulness practices - these kick-in “top-down” brain functioning versus “bottom-up” " -  Leo Butler

  4. NatashaL profile image81
    NatashaLposted 2 years ago

    I can only answer this from my own perspective.  To me, cruel treatment is any kind of treatment inflicted selfishly and with the intention of minimizing and hurting the other person.

    In Cecelia's case, expecting her children to eat their supper is not cruel.  Refusing to let the children eat cookies without finishing their peas would also not be cruel.  The purpose here is not to "show those children who's boss."  The purpose is to be sure that the children are getting the nutrition they need.

    Locking the children in a cage or giving them hour-long beatings because they didn't finish their peas would be cruel.  It strips the children of their dignity, and is intended only to "put those children in their place." 

    I have trouble trusting others or believing that I'm good enough.  My relationship with my parents deteriorated after we started going to church.  (Among things we were taught:  Good children never question authority.  Hurt feelings just show that you're not right with God.  If your parents are belittling you or otherwise saying hurtful things, it's because you need to learn humility.  Only the most rebellious children speak up for themselves instead of just "meekly submitting to God-given authority. "The only response I ever want to hear from you is, 'Yes, Sir.'")

    That upbringing severely affected my relationship with both my parents and the "men of God" who preached those philosophies.  When I came home from Christian school crying because I was having trouble in science class (and the teacher obviously hated me), my stepfather's only response was a mocking, "Awwww...did somebody hurt your little FEELINGS?  That's right!  Go to your room and cry about it!  Can I come to your pity party?"  That was followed by his calling to my brother, "Hey, [X], we're having a party in here!  You want to come to Natasha's pity party?"  And then he'd give me the biggest phony smile he could.  His behavior was cruel, because he sought only to hurt and provoke me.  To this day, I despise him.  I learned that I couldn't talk to him about things that bothered me.  Even now, it's hard to trust anyone because of similar experiences with him and "men of God."  I've also left Christianity.

    I ended up being diagnosed with major depressive disorder, to me a natural result of constantly being belittled for having normal human doubts and feelings.  Since I could only internalize my feelings, I ended up hating myself for having "sinful" feelings.

    1. threekeys profile image75
      threekeysposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I am so so sorry Natasha...I wish I could brush my wing around you and make it better...I can relate to the effects of  authouraritarian ways both in the home and via those in religious positions....love does not hurt...im thinking of you..

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)