Any tips on how to raise a defiant and strong willed teenage boy?
Ensure you allow him the freedom to screw up and you're there to explain how he could've done it better, make sure punishments do not infringe upon his social life unless the social event requires you to pay for him, promote him and his interests even if he asks you not to, and most importantly be defiant and strong willed yourself so he has someone to look up to for your desired effects.
Not sure why you would want a generally defiant child, but I'm sure you meant defiant in the sense he will stand up for himself and others when things seem illogical or unfair.
Thank you for your reply. No, I don't want him to be defiant. By defiant, it means talking back and disobeying. He has a strong personality and is very stubborn. He is very intelligent. I am more street smart and not as logical, so he thinks he's smarter than me. I definitely agree about being someone for him to look up to. He is an excellent leader for other boys his age. He is well behaved with other adults in other settings, just not with my wife and I.
In this case I take back my statement "be defiant and strong willed yourself."
I thought you were jesting saying you wanted to raise him to be defiant, not that he was already defiant, hahaha! To replace that statement I'd like to say take what he has to teach you in earnest, and when it comes to teaching him things be strong willed and patient rather than pushy. It is good to lay down the law when necessary, but bad to limit their independence if it isn't for their own safety and only to exercise your power.
A very tricky balance, I wish you all the best luck!
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