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Top 8 Reasons Why You Should Not Eat Chocolate in Bed

Updated on December 5, 2013
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing for HubPages for over 7 years. She covers a wide variety of topics—anything from hamsters to office work.


Chocolate in Bed

I remember a time when people used to make a big fuss about eating crackers in bed. I don't even know why people cared about crackers in bed. How did that even start? Was there a "cracker eating in bed epidemic" going on at the time? At any rate, you could easily get kicked out of the bedroom just for eating crackers. I daresay people overreacted to crackers. After all, one can easily sweep them out of a bed. The real problem is chocolate.

I understand the appeal of eating chocolate in bed. After all, chocolate can help calm a person down after a long hard day. Chocolate is your friend when you are in pain, sad, or hungry. Chocolate may not be able to snuggle with you, but it is wonderful anyway. However, there are some reasons why chocolate really is not your friend if you are relaxing in bed after a long, tough day. Let me tell you why I feel this way.

Eating in Bed Poll

Do you ever eat in bed?

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Reasons Why You Should Not Eat Chocolate in Bed:

  1. You know that old saying, "It melts in your mouth, not in your hands"? Well, that saying simply is not true. Chocolate melts in your hands. Have you ever tried to pull the sheets up to get cozy with some chocolate on your hands? Yeah, it is pretty disgusting, isn't it? Unless you want to bring in some wipes or paper towels, this is a bad idea.
  2. Have you ever blissfully drifted off to sleep sooner than expected? Have you ever done that while eating chocolate? You will wake up with chocolate on your face, neck, and even worse... your hair! It is a pretty disgusting scene for anyone involved.
  3. Chocolate crumbs! Just when you think you've found all the crumbs, you happen to roll into some chocolate crumbs. Now your sheets are ruined and your pajamas look pretty bad. If you are lucky, no one else is around to point and laugh at you. I hate to break it to you, but chocolate goo on the seat of your pajama bottoms does not look like chocolate at all. It looks like something much worse happened to you in the middle of the night.
  4. Just because your pets are not supposed to eat chocolate does not mean they are not looking for any opportunity to eat it when they get a chance. Kitty or Fido might look cute and innocent when they curl up next to you in bed, but beware! Your pet may have a different agenda rather than just snuggling. As soon as you start to go to sleep, their plan to steal your chocolate goes into action.
  5. You might think your pets are your biggest problem, but humans are often the worst chocolate thieves. Don't be surprised to wake up and find someone else snacking on your half eaten chocolate bar. Anyone can be guilty of this.... husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, kids, roommates, your parents... trust no one!
  6. When you eat chocolate in bed, you are probably not giving the chocolate the attention it deserves. I mean, seriously, chocolate is only one of the most delicious treats on the planet. You'd be better off focusing on it when you are wide awake and sitting up.
  7. Pests... and by pests, I don't mean your in-laws. I am talking about bugs or rodents that are looking for a tasty snack. The cleaner you keep your home, the less likely pests are going to want to hang out at your place. If you eat chocolate in bed, it is a good chance some of those crumbs are going to get in the sheets, on the comforter, and on the floor. The last thing you want to see is a mouse staring at you in the middle of the night as he grabs that last piece of Almond Joy from under your pillow.
  8. Now let's take a moment to be practical. Chocolate has caffeine in it. If you are having a lazy day and not bothering to get out of bed, that is one thing, but if you are trying to go to sleep anytime within the next hour or so, chocolate is not your friend. Sure, it only has a minimal amount of caffeine in it, but it is there.


Chocolate Dreams

In the end, it is really your decision if you should eat chocolate in bed. I can't stop you, but I can tell you from personal experience things can get pretty disgusting when you eat chocolate in bed. If you don't want to have to change the sheets yet, maybe you ought to put that chocolate bar down. Of course, sometimes one must learn these lessons the hard way.... I know I did.

Copyright ©2013 Jeannieinabottle


Submit a Comment

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Oh yes, there is plenty of chocolate at my place right now, too. Happy New Year to you, too!!!

  • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

    Glimmer Twin Fan 4 years ago

    With all the chocolate we have sitting around the house right now it's bound to happen, so I might as well go give it a try now. Happy New Year.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thank you!

  • Rasimo profile image

    Rasimo 4 years ago

    Nice work Jeannie :)

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Hahaha! I wish I had those kind of dreams after I ate chocolate. :-) Thanks for your comment!

  • LKMore01 profile image

    LKMore01 4 years ago

    One night after eating chocolate in bed I dreamt of being surrounded by little orange faced men singing and trying to pull me out of a chocolate river drain pipe. Funny, entertaining, HUB, Jeannie!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    I've sat in chocolate or rolled over into it one too many times. Of course, it helps if you get everyone on board with the rule. The couch and the bed sometimes have surprise chocolate crumbs that are not my own. Yuck!

    Thanks for checking out my hub!

  • randomcreative profile image

    Rose Clearfield 4 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

    You may not have convinced others, but you certainly convinced me. The idea of finding chocolate all over upon waking up or discovering that a pet ate a big bunch of it makes me shudder. Hilarious job with this topic.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    bravewarrior - That is so interesting. I've heard about sleep walkers that get up for a snack in their sleep. It is good that you broke the habit though. :-)

    ocfireflies - Thanks! I am happy you liked the hub.

    PaisleeGal - I am also a fan of caramel, although chocolate will always be my #1 favorite. I can imagine caramel is not a great idea in bed or with a new dental partial. Thanks for the advice!

    sheilamyers - You are serious about your chocolate! I don't blame you. Chocolate is pretty wonderful.

    Thanks, everyone, for the comments!

  • profile image

    sheilamyers 4 years ago

    I really enjoyed this hub. I've never eaten chocolate in bed, but have had some of the mishaps you mentioned eating it while sitting on my recliner. Those chocolate crumbs seem to find their way to the cushions no matter how careful you try to be. As for other people eating my chocolate in the middle of the night ... they know the consequences for such actions. Someone could lose a few fingers and it won't be me.

  • PaisleeGal profile image

    Pat Materna 4 years ago from Memphis, Tennessee, USA

    J... what a fun read. I will keep this in mind should I convert from a caramel lover to a chocoholic. But have to admit, it's not good idea to take caramel into bed either or try and eat a piece of caramel with a new dental partial. Just glad there was not a camera around!!!

    Keep em coming...

  • ocfireflies profile image

    ocfireflies 4 years ago from North Carolina


    Love how you keep me entertained.



  • bravewarrior profile image

    Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

    I've never fallen asleep while eating chocolate in bed, but for years I'd wake up to a half-eaten piece of bread (no butter, just plain bread) in bed with me. The worst part is, I never remembered getting up to raid the kitchen in the first place! I haven't done that in quite a while, thank goodness.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    mts1098 - I would say eatable chocolate body paint is OK... just use some old sheets. :-)

    peachpurple - You are right. I used to never eat in bed, but I have been bad about it lately. No more chocolate though!

    FlourishAnyway - That is something I did not even take into consideration. You are 100% right about that!

  • FlourishAnyway profile image

    FlourishAnyway 4 years ago from USA

    and especially never eat chocolate in bed naked -- what's on those sheets? Bleck!

  • peachpurple profile image

    peachy 4 years ago from Home Sweet Home

    i never eat chocolate in bed. Eating on bed is dirty, all the crumbs on the bed. Gets itchy and uneasy too.

  • profile image

    mts1098 4 years ago

    This was a fun read on chocolate in bed - I guess eatable chocolate body paint is still good right ? :) cheers

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    I see I have yet to convince readers the evil of eating chocolate in bed! Sigh. And no crumbs? Wow! :-)

  • drbj profile image

    drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

    I appreciate your noble intentions, Jeannie, but when you have a chocolate hunger no matter where you are or what time it is, you just have to satisfy it. BTW, what's a chocolate crumb? In my household, no chocolate lasts long enough to crumble. Trust me.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Bill, I am sorry to ruin your good time as well as the good time of others. There was a terrible chocolate incident recently and I am just trying to help others. ;-) Thanks for checking out my hub!

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

    You are ruining a lot of fun for people with this one, Jeannie. Chocolate needs to be consumed any time of the day or night, no matter where you are. I know you know this....say you know this! LOL Great fun as always.