Top 8 Reasons Why You Should Not Eat Chocolate in Bed

I remember a time when people used to make a big fuss about eating crackers in bed. I don't even know why people cared about crackers in bed. How did that even start? Was there a "cracker eating in bed epidemic" going on at the time? At any rate, you could easily get kicked out of the bedroom just for eating crackers. I daresay people overreacted to crackers. After all, one can easily sweep them out of a bed. The real problem is chocolate.

I understand the appeal of eating chocolate in bed. After all, chocolate can help calm a person down after a long hard day. Chocolate is your friend when you are in pain, sad, or hungry. Chocolate may not be able to snuggle with you, but it is wonderful anyway. However, there are some reasons why chocolate really is not your friend if you are relaxing in bed after a long, tough day. Let me tell you why I feel this way.

1. You know that old saying, "It melts in your mouth, not in your hands"? Well, that saying simply is not true. Chocolate melts in your hands. Have you ever tried to pull the sheets up to get cozy with some chocolate on your hands? Yeah, it is pretty disgusting, isn't it? Unless you want to bring in some wipes or paper towels, this is a bad idea.
2. Have you ever blissfully drifted off to sleep sooner than expected? Have you ever done that while eating chocolate? You will wake up with chocolate on your face, neck, and even worse... your hair! It is a pretty disgusting scene for anyone involved.
3. Chocolate crumbs! Just when you think you've found all the crumbs, you happen to roll into some chocolate crumbs. Now your sheets are ruined and your pajamas look pretty bad. If you are lucky, no one else is around to point and laugh at you. I hate to break it to you, but chocolate goo on the seat of your pajama bottoms does not look like chocolate at all. It looks like something much worse happened to you in the middle of the night.
4. Just because your pets are not supposed to eat chocolate does not mean they are not looking for any opportunity to eat it when they get a chance. Kitty or Fido might look cute and innocent when they curl up next to you in bed, but beware! Your pet may have a different agenda rather than just snuggling. As soon as you start to go to sleep, their plan to steal your chocolate goes into action.
5. You might think your pets are your biggest problem, but humans are often the worst chocolate thieves. Don't be surprised to wake up and find someone else snacking on your half eaten chocolate bar. Anyone can be guilty of this.... husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, kids, roommates, your parents... trust no one!
6. When you eat chocolate in bed, you are probably not giving the chocolate the attention it deserves. I mean, seriously, chocolate is only one of the most delicious treats on the planet. You'd be better off focusing on it when you are wide awake and sitting up.
7. Pests... and by pests, I don't mean your in-laws. I am talking about bugs or rodents that are looking for a tasty snack. The cleaner you keep your home, the less likely pests are going to want to hang out at your place. If you eat chocolate in bed, it is a good chance some of those crumbs are going to get in the sheets, on the comforter, and on the floor. The last thing you want to see is a mouse staring at you in the middle of the night as he grabs that last piece of Almond Joy from under your pillow.
8. Now let's take a moment to be practical. Chocolate has caffeine in it. If you are having a lazy day and not bothering to get out of bed, that is one thing, but if you are trying to go to sleep anytime within the next hour or so, chocolate is not your friend. Sure, it only has a minimal amount of caffeine in it, but it is there.

In the end, it is really your decision if you should eat chocolate in bed. I can't stop you, but I can tell you from personal experience things can get pretty disgusting when you eat chocolate in bed. If you don't want to have to change the sheets yet, maybe you ought to put that chocolate bar down. Of course, sometimes one must learn these lessons the hard way.... I know I did.

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