I wrote a short story called Candy love some feedback.

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  1. jcdelfinoiii profile image67
    jcdelfinoiiiposted 11 years ago

    I wrote the Hub "Candy" and was wondering if it could be reviewed and maybe get some critical feedback on this one.

    http://jcdelfinoiii.hubpages.com/hub/Ca … tion-story

    This is the first time I have done this so if I did it wrong could someone let me know.

    J.C. Delfino III

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  2. tamron profile image67
    tamronposted 11 years ago

    I loved your story!  The only thing I could suggest is changing the title.  People won't find your hub in search.

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    1. jcdelfinoiii profile image67
      jcdelfinoiiiposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for taking the time to check it out, it does seem to be pretty well received so far with the classifications of "Beautiful" and "Awesome", I did have one person point out a typo so I fixed it. I placed it on line a week ago and it is my first hub to reach 100 views. Would love to figure out how to get it viewed more though.  Any suggestions on the new title? I do want to keep the surprise ending so I want to keep that out of the title.

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  3. tamron profile image67
    tamronposted 11 years ago

    I don't know I am not a story writer.  I like one of your phrases "My Mirror Hates Me" it sounds catchy and it peeks interest.

    People who see the title will wonder what do you mean your mirror hates you.  Just out of curiosity.

    If your hub is only a week old its possible your getting hubpage visitors not Google visitors hub visitors phase out quick.  I would keep the title you have now for a week or two and see if you get some Google juice.  If not change the title.

    Its a great hub I have a hub I could link to your story I think I will have to go back and read my hub to see.

    If so I will send you the link.  That will help you get some traffic as well and help your story to rank a little better.

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  4. jcdelfinoiii profile image67
    jcdelfinoiiiposted 11 years ago

    definitely send me the link to the article, I will review it and if it is relevant I would love to link it to the story.

    replyreport
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