Why are some people naturally very friendly and amiable; never harbour any resen

1. 83

   Good Guyposted 13 years ago

   Why are some people naturally very friendly and amiable; never harbour any resentment towards others
   
   Whenever anyone meets such people, there is always this feeling of inner peace.

   replyreport
2. 94

   angela_michelleposted 13 years ago

   I'm actually one of those people who is naturally friendly and amiable. My mom says I woke up with a smile on my face and rarely cried as a baby. She described me as a boring baby. When I walked into a room, I would change the mood. I don't quite have the same effect as an adult, but I do know that I can usually calm irate people when I've worked in customer service. I don't hold resentment, because I know we all make mistakes. We all are going to hurt someone else at some point.
   
   My daughter is also naturally charming and people are drawn to her. She can make the grumpiest person smile.When she wakes up, she is sunshiny and loving. 
   
   Honestly, I think you are born with the right genes. I also think you are raised with appreciative parents who valued your natural gifts, so you learned to appreciate your own. The more happy you are with yourself, the easier it is to express friendliness to others. Plus, there is a certain amount of faking it. There are days when I feel lousy, feel like the world could just crash in on me, but as soon as I see another human being, a smile is planted on my face, and a pleasant tone in my voice. Sometimes my ability to fake it surprises me. It's actually an unconscious habit I have.
   
   There are drawbacks to this type of personality. You can get used, you also attract depressed people. People feel compelled to tell you their life problems. It's semi-amusing in a way. My husband often grins at me when he notices a random person has attached themselves to me telling me their life problems.

   replyreport
3. 60

   telltaleposted 13 years ago

   Probably, these are very positive people... positive thinking, positive attitude and nothing negative can draw them into a depressive mood.  On the down side, don't think they can recognize people who have bad intentions, and that can be considered dangerous, by any standards.

   replyreport
4. 67

   johnsamsposted 13 years ago

   I just love to spread the smile. There used to be this really smug grl and every time I passed, I would just smile and after 3-4 times she started smiling back. Its the same with guys..
   
   Its a great feeling when someone smiles because of you.

   replyreport
5. 75

   Cumbesefposted 13 years ago

   You said it yourself; Inner Peace.
   
   There's an old saying, "Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes."
   
   There are people who it literally takes all they have to get up in the morning.  They are beaten down by their own lives.  Thus, they are in pain.  Anyone in pain (physical or mental) has nothing to give back.  They are empty.  They snap at you when you approach them - they can't help it.  It's called "Conditioned Response." 
   
   It takes quite a while of consistently positive treatment to change this behavior.  You can't simply walk up to someone who has been beaten by the world, say hi and expect them to immediately smile and trust you.  It doesn't work that way.  All we can do for anyone is be nice.  For those in pain, it is that much more important that we go out of our way to be nice.  They need kindness.
   
   Just imagine if everyone you encountered in one day all treated each other nice.    I like to think it is possible.

   replyreport
6. 83

   Good Guyposted 13 years ago

   Hi Cumbesef,
   
   I appreciate your well-written comment.
   
   Yes, I think I have this negative "conditioned response".
   
   I need to be more mindful to change it to positive "conditioned response"!
   
   Smile!!

   replyreport