Is It Bad To Ask Your Aging Father His Wishes On Care And What He Want Done Afte

1. 77

   ngurecoposted 14 years ago

   Is It Bad To Ask Your Aging Father His Wishes On Care And What He Want Done After He Pass On?

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2. 68

   mkottposted 14 years ago

   It is a good idea to go over care, etc while they are able to discuss it with you.  Another touchy subject would be to discuss "resuscitate" or "do not resuscitate" in case of something severe happening.  Like going into cardiac arrest and but your quality of life is already gone; they can have it so there will be no heroic effort to save life - no resuscitation.  I tell my daughter if I am in a vegetative state and I have a heart attack, just let me go.

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   NCBIerposted 14 years ago

   I think it is your responsibility to do so if he has never brought it up. Mkott's suggestion is a good one as well. You should know what he wants to happen in various events. It isn't just for his own sake but for yours as well. Whatever happens, you will feel better knowing that you are doing what he would want.

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   wychicposted 14 years ago

   It is a good thing to discuss, but especially if he's a bit touchy about his age and/or in great health, picking the right time to bring it up may be difficult. My family has been lucky in that everyone in the entire extended family has made their wishes known to everyone else (including the teens and those of us in our 20s), but some families will have to work at it a bit. Exactly how you approach the subject is pretty dependent on the individual and how your dad is likely to react, but you may just have to pick a good time when there's plenty of time to talk and bring up the "I know someday you'll be gone" discussion and go from there. It doesn't have to sound like anything you expect to be in the near future, just an acknowledgment that one day it will happen, as it happens to everyone, and you'd like to know what to do.

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   VictorGposted 14 years ago

   I think it is important to both discuss his wishes, as well as yours in most instances. This is largely because the alternative, where something happens and you did not know his wishes, is much worse.

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   SpaceAgeposted 14 years ago

   Some ppl H8 discussing this type of thing 4 whatever reason. If they don't want 2 discuss it, don't force them.

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