What am I doing wrong?

1. 60

   ChristineVianelloposted 13 years ago

   What am I doing wrong?
   
   I work an a very busy family medicine office. I work with people who are very mean and do not believe in team work. I try more then anything to be nice to people the way that my mom is to everyone. The people I work with are SO mean to me. Am I being too sensitive? I wrote a childrens book and starting a new one, no publisher still...Someone help me get out of this job with all these mean people?

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2. 81

   Wayne Brownposted 13 years ago

   Just guessing, I would say that you probably work in that portion of the office in which the administration and customer interface takes place for the medical appointment. That means that every other person is the office from the doctors on down believe that you work for them.  It is the result of a flat organization in which you have doctors, nurses/medical attendants, and administrative personnel. Those in the medical side think everyone else is there to service their needs. First, I would suggest to you that you consider speaking with the head doctor regarding the problems. Be objective and factual rather than petty, jealous, and biased.  State your case and possibly point out that things could be better if there was a more formal structure in which everyone did not consider themselves your boss.  For example, if someone is the office manager, then the doctor publishes an organizational chart that shows that the office manager reports directly to him.  That then puts you on par with the others and they eventually quit trying to order you around.  Secondly, given the status quo, get a good understanding of how you fit in the organization, question the doctor on it to confirm it. Then, you begin to operate from that basis. "No Joyce, I don't do coffee, get it yourself"....may then become the response of the day.  As long as you let these people push you around, most of them will continue to do it and make you their own personal slave. You have to be proactive just as you are in trying to get published as a writer...you cannot wait for someone else to discover the problem. WB

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3. 71

   tritrainposted 13 years ago

   Geez, I swear that you are my girlfriend.  She says the same stuff.
   
   The people are very 'cliquey', etc.
   
   Personally, I know she works very hard and is exceedingly reliable.
   
   I suspect you are the same.
   
   It is threatening to the others and they feel like you (she) will make them look lazy.  Thus, they are mean and shun you.
   
   Sound familiar?

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4. 60

   framistanposted 13 years ago

   
   
   I had that experience at a job... Not everyone was mean... but several people were not nice and caused me a LOT of grief.   I always was nice to them and I went the extra mile to offer to help them even when they were being hatefull to me.  It took about 2 years and the mean people stopped being hatefull to me.  They in fact became friends of mine.    Then UPPER management started some severe harassment policies (a system called SIX-SIGMA)... and it looked like a loosing battle there so i found a NEW JOB that everyone is SUPERNICE to each other!!!   Life is too short to be miserable.. If you cant make any progress turning around the situation... Pray to God for a way out.  That worked for me.

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5. 60

   ChristineVianelloposted 13 years ago

   Thanks everyone for the advice. Hopefully, I can learn to not let people upset me so much. Also, not to walk all over me.

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6. 76

   Goodpalposted 12 years ago

   Please stop pleasing people. Don't expect them to appreciate you. From the description, you appear to be a little sensitive which is a good human quality. But learn to protect your good-self from people who don't understand its value.
   
   Changing job might not help, but changing you attitudes will. You can learn to be objective towards your own feelings and others. Mindfulness is a good way; its practice if suits you will be very helpful.
   
   Practicing assertiveness skills will be another good way to prevent people from stepping on your toes.
   
   Finally, we all go through such experiences in real world that is unfortunately not ideal for good people. So, stay put, all will be well. Remember, you are much stronger than you think.

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