What are your views on people in their 70's and 80's living alone in large house

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   DAWNEMARSposted 11 years ago

   What are your views on people in their 70's and 80's living alone in large houses?
   
   There are many issues to consider regarding growing older. Who decides if a person is safe, living alone in a large house? Should large houses just be for families with children? Should the amount of help someone needs to stay in a large home be dependant on how much money they have?

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   Attikosposted 11 years ago

   The collapse of the extended family in western civilization is a tragedy. Old people eventually reach the point they need care similar to that given little children. Life is a cycle from birth to death, its stages rising from helplessness to individual strength and independence then back to helplessness again. The multigenerational family is the only effective way mankind ever has found to provide for it.
   
   Having seen it occur in my own and other families, I feel comfortable saying that elderly folks are not good with change. They grow accustomed to their surroundings. Taking them out of their houses and putting them among strangers almost always  causes great stress, denies them the peace of old age to which everyone looks forward, and hastens decline and death.
   
   There has to be a better way. In my view, that way must be those large houses, with two, three or four generations living in them. I see no good alternative for most people.

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      DAWNEMARSposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Attikos, you make a very strong case. I think of my own mother and how she loves her garden. How can you give up what you know and love at a time when you may feel vulnerable? Again more questions. Thanks for answering.

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      Bob Zermopposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I disagree, because you seem to be reducing the elderly to objects. As always, it's up to the individual what to do with their lives.

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   msorenssonposted 11 years ago

   If they are healthy, then there is nothing wrong with them living alone. Some prefer it so and it should always be their choice. I assume they will have someone who comes to do all the maintenance required of a big home.
   
   I don't understand what you mean by amount of help...

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      DAWNEMARSposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I just mean service providers like cleaners or carers and nursing staff.

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      msorenssonposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I think people who prefer to live alone in big homes would have it all figured out long before their 70s.
      To begin with, to chose to live in big homes require all those planned. Maintenance without sacrificing privacy...after all it is their reason..

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   Jackwmsposted 11 years ago

   I trust that the person posing this question is not in her 70's or 80's? I am 76 and have been an avid hiker all my life. I have slowed down recently, but some in my senior hiking group are in their mid 80's and do right well. They drive cars, often live in "big" homes, garden, travel, and live much as they did in earlier years, but often alone. People are living much longer today and most are in better health.
   
   Your statement about taking the elderly out of their houses is absolutely true. It causes great stress and many do not live long when that part of their reason for living is taken away. I believe average young or middle aged people have jobs, children, and active lives and , inwardly at least, resent having to care or look in on elderly parents. They probably won't admit it, but they really do.
   
   Board and Care homes, and certainly Nursing homes are far too expensive for elderly people who don't have a large savings nest egg (most of them) . Most elderly people (plurality of women) resent having intruders in their house and would not take lightly to sharing it or the household decisions therein.
   
   So, bottom line, the elderly (again, a plurality of womens) should be allowed to stay in their homes as long as possible. The government should subsidize this (after first requiring family to do the same). Only, when they have reached the stage where they no longer have mobility, cannot feed themselves, and cannot attent to basic needs should tehy be removed from their homes. These days, this is often into the 90's

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   Bob Zermopposted 11 years ago

   As always, it's up to the individual person - and believe it or not, the elderly are still people. Perhaps I overreact to the previous answers, but it seems that some no longer view the elderly as people with rights. If they can pay for it, what business is it of ours? Who decides if a person is safe? That individual.
   
   Is the question whether the families should provide for the elderly? The answer is yes, though it often seems to be forgotten in America, my least favorite thing about this country. Culturally, in my experience many seem to view the elderly as burdens and objects. Where is the respect I was taught? I don't mean to say families must pay for the elder; like everyone else, they must live within their means and if they can't maintain a large home they will have to move. But this question seems to ask if the elderly SHOULD live alone, not if they can. They can. And whether they should is up to them.

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      Jackwmsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with this comment.

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   shiningirisheyesposted 11 years ago

   I sold my home to move back in with Mom, who is 84.  Personally, I am fortunate for being able to do this.  No kids, ex-husabd.  If I had a family my options would be more limited.  The property and hosue are too large for her to handle and I'm happy to do it.
   
   However, my Mom is in excellent phsycal and mental shape, therefore I guess it all depends on the health condition of the person.

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      DAWNEMARSposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Shining for sharing this example with us. I agree that health is the biggest issue.

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   Old Empresarioposted 11 years ago

   I don't really care, because I don't stick my nose in other people's business. I have my own problems. I prefer to take care of my own relatives though.

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      DAWNEMARSposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Strange then that you choose to answer a human rights question.

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