I would like to improve my article.

1. 0

   Ivan Hernandezposted 6 years ago

   I need someone to help me improve my article. I'd like some advice. The link is here.
   
   https://hubpages.com/politics/Five-Reas … ll-Fall-in
   
   2018 was my original plan, but after the stock market rose yesterday, I changed it to "...The Future"

   replyreport
   1. 96

      theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Erick, glad to see you writing again.
      
      1. Where's your introduction? You know this by now.
      2. Why are you using that huge, ugly call-out capsule? Use them to make a short point, not for a large amount of text.
      3. Shorten your subtitles so that they are subtitles not sentences.
      4. Try to avoid those horrible generic images. Use proper graphs.
      5. Watch out for too many links. If you don't need them, don't use them. Keep your unlinked references at the end.
      
      I can't comment on the content, I know nothing about the US stock market, However, personally, I just can't read an article that is so chock-full of figures and percentages. But that's just me.

      replyreport
      1. 0

         Ivan Hernandezposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         Now, is it better? reread it again, please?

         replyreport
         1. 95

            DrMark1961posted 6 years agoin reply to this

            It is still a poorly disguised political rant that has little to do with the stock market. You do not even bothering to show how the interest rate in the US has historically affected the stock market, and how it may do so in the future. The same thing could be said for rising wages.
            What does Donald Trump and sharks have to do with bond yields? Do you understand why I said that this is just a rant and not a useful article?
            You have numerous grammatical errors in this article. Your is not the same as you´re. "When Donald Trump heard that the stock market fell 665 points, he must've screamed inside, because his country is getting weaker. Do not change the tense in the middle of a sentence. 
            If you decide to improve this any further it would be a good idea to have it proofread.
            Your title should be follow the APA style. You can use https://capitalizemytitle.com/ to correct it.

            replyreport
            1. 0

               Ivan Hernandezposted 6 years agoin reply to this

               Theraggededge. After reading this user's demoralizing rant, I have decided not to post another article again. I hate being negatively criticized. Once again, I failed. He failed as well. Should I report him?

               replyreport
               1. 95

                  DrMark1961posted 6 years agoin reply to this

                  It was not a rant, and there was nothing personal or demoralizing about it. It was criticism so that you could improve. That is called constructive. You are welcome to do the same for any one of my articles, as it is always good to improve.
                  If you are not able to learn and improve, no one can help you.

                  replyreport
                  1. 0

                     Ivan Hernandezposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                     Sorry. I call it destructive in my terms. I'll delete my stock market article if you're not a fan of it. You hate my stock market articles.

                     replyreport
                     1. 95

                        DrMark1961posted 6 years agoin reply to this

                        It was not meant to be. A month ago theraggededge was nice enough to tear apart one of my old articles line by line. It was helpful. I changed what was wrong, added what needed to be, and when I submitted it to PetHelpful last week it was accepted and moved to that niche site.
                        There is no hate involved here. Everyone can use criticism, no matter how well he writes. Do you think Stephen King (or any other popular writer for that matter) could get by without criticism? He lets his wife read it and mark it up with a red pencil even before mailing it to his editors.

                        replyreport
2. 92

   FatFreddysCatposted 6 years ago

   

   replyreport
3. 96

   Gregory DeVictorposted 6 years ago

   Ivan, to better help you with grammar issues, I suggest that you invest in a grammar checker text such as the  CMS (Chicago Manual of Style), Diana Hacker’s book entitled A Writer’s Reference, or a similar text.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      Ivan Hernandezposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sorry. My mind is made up. I'm deleting my stock market article. I don't want negative criticism.

      replyreport
      1. 95

         DrMark1961posted 6 years agoin reply to this

         His suggestion will help with all of your articles, not just the stock market piece. Don´t you want to be a better writer?

         replyreport
         1. 0

            Ivan Hernandezposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Sorry. My writing is decent to good enough to go to a niche site. I have 8 that are in a niche site. I have one that is used inside a school.

            replyreport
            1. 95

               DrMark1961posted 6 years agoin reply to this

               Wow. That is not a good attitude. You should be asking why only 8, and not all of your articles have been moved to niche sites. You should be asking why you do not have more page views and why you do not have people linking to your articles.
               You CAN succeed here but it is not going to be without a lot of work. No one is born able to write and no one is too good to improve.

               replyreport
               1. 0

                  Ivan Hernandezposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                  All articles in niche sites? IMPOSSIBLE!!! I CAN'T DO THAT!!!!

                  replyreport
               2. 0

                  Ivan Hernandezposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                  You are expecting me to do the impossible? Then I quit.

                  replyreport
                  1. 96

                     theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                     Stop it, Erick.
                     
                     Go away from Hubpages for 24 hours and think about things. Remember that you asked for advice in the first place. If you can't take criticism, then don't post your hubs for critiques in the future. Real writers need to be tough; they can't be gentle little lambs who can only deal with praise.
                     
                     Also if you write ranty hubs, you are going to get ranty comments. If you can dish it out, you must be prepared to take it.
                     
                     {hugs}

                     replyreport
                     1. 66

                        Bridgette Croweposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                        I think your advice is very helpful. I'm new to this but I view all comments as an aid to improvement. Appreciate your thoughts.

                        replyreport
                  2. 95

                     greenmindposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                     Hi Erick. I liked your article about conquering the fear of failure. Maybe you could benefit from your own wise advice!

                     replyreport
                  3. 96

                     letstalkabouteducposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                     Erick -- I hope you never quit writing for Hubpages and posting on the forums. Yours is an important voice for all of us to hear. You represent all of us but are just more honest and vocal about it. Criticism is difficult for all of us to take. It's frustrating and makes us all want to give up at times.
                     
                     But, with that being said, I see the same people responding again and again to writers who ask for feedback. These handful of individuals are so patient, helpful, and kind to do this again and again. They're sharing their time and talent and getting nothing in return. If we only want kudos for our writing, then we should only ask for our mom's opinion!
                     
                     My son has autism, but he's not a writer like you. He's a smart guy, though, but prefers science and math to writing. I think it's fantastic you write on Hubpages and are a proud man with autism. Keep writing, Erick. It means a lot.

                     replyreport
                     1. 0

                        Ivan Hernandezposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                        Thanks. It means a lot to me. I will stay in Hubpages.

                        replyreport
4. 96

   Gregory DeVictorposted 6 years ago

   Ivan, Diana Hacker’s book has helped me to get out of many “grammatical ditches” over the years. It was worth every penny of the purchase price.

   replyreport