Say something funny

1. 73

   ThoughtfulSpotposted 15 years ago

   Ok, so I'm having a crappy day.  There's nothing in particular wrong (no more so than usual), I just rolled out of bed (after hitting snooze 3 times) and wished I could stay there.  I am grateful for my life, my family... blah, blah, blah.  But, today, I am in a funk for lack of a better word.  I looked at someone earlier and had the urge to say "Say something funny."  Which, I know is usually the worst path to an amusing anecdote and will freeze any normal human being on the spot.  However, we are all a bunch of crazy, free-spirited writers who would not balk at such a challenge.  So, for all of you who, like me, might be having "one of those days" and, also like me, who would like to turn it around before it gets worse...
   
   Say Something Funny.

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      thooghunposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I am not all that funny myself. But Pratchett is always a source of humor to me. Perhaps it will do the trick!
      
      "Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
      
      "In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded."
      
      "Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
      
      "[The pamphlet] was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners."
      
      "He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at."
      
      "An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on."

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   A Texanposted 15 years ago

   "Say Something Funny."
   
   
   Something funny!

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      Justine76posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I was going to say that..now I'll have to think of something else...

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3. 61

   Alotaposted 15 years ago

   A Texan you look so sexy in that hat.

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      A Texanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Does it make you Horny?
      
      Get it? Horny?
      
      Nevermind...

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      1. 59

         tobey100posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Let's see.....say something funny......
         
         Hey Texan, I like your hat!

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   poetlorraineposted 15 years ago

   Alota, your antlers sure are sexy too

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5. 81

   timorousposted 15 years ago

   A quote (or fairly close) from Spike Milligan, of The Goon Show fame.
   
   A police officer is leading a prisoner away to the police station.
   
   Policeman: "Are you going to come quietly, or shall I have to put these earplugs in?".

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6. 61

   Alotaposted 15 years ago

   Do I make you horny baby?

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      poetlorraineposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Are you talking to me.

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   cheaptrickposted 15 years ago

   "If you steal Allot from One writer it's Plagiarism".
   "If you steal a Little from Many writers it's Research"

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      poetlorraineposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      good one.

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8. 0

   poetlorraineposted 15 years ago

   Basil Fawlty's comment always makes me laugh
   
   In the scene wher he is talking to the  nurse in hospital
   
   Basil.......  God you are ugly...
   
   Nurse,,,,,  I will get a doctor.....
   
   Basil,      It's a plastic  surgeon you need,not a doctor.
   
   Cybil in background...... whilst refurbishing herself, BASIL BASIL

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9. 73

   ThoughtfulSpotposted 15 years ago

   Great guys! Thanks!  Feeling better already.

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