Ok, so I'm having a crappy day. There's nothing in particular wrong (no more so than usual), I just rolled out of bed (after hitting snooze 3 times) and wished I could stay there. I am grateful for my life, my family... blah, blah, blah. But, today, I am in a funk for lack of a better word. I looked at someone earlier and had the urge to say "Say something funny." Which, I know is usually the worst path to an amusing anecdote and will freeze any normal human being on the spot. However, we are all a bunch of crazy, free-spirited writers who would not balk at such a challenge. So, for all of you who, like me, might be having "one of those days" and, also like me, who would like to turn it around before it gets worse...
Say Something Funny.
I am not all that funny myself. But Pratchett is always a source of humor to me. Perhaps it will do the trick!
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
"In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded."
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
"[The pamphlet] was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners."
"He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at."
"An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on."
A quote (or fairly close) from Spike Milligan, of The Goon Show fame.
A police officer is leading a prisoner away to the police station.
Policeman: "Are you going to come quietly, or shall I have to put these earplugs in?".
"If you steal Allot from One writer it's Plagiarism".
"If you steal a Little from Many writers it's Research"
Basil Fawlty's comment always makes me laugh
In the scene wher he is talking to the nurse in hospital
Basil....... God you are ugly...
Nurse,,,,, I will get a doctor.....
Basil, It's a plastic surgeon you need,not a doctor.
Cybil in background...... whilst refurbishing herself, BASIL BASIL
by Kenna McHugh 5 years ago
"Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something."-- Plato
by SparklingJewel 14 years ago
"It's awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it." --humorist Will Rogers (1879-1935)where is Will when we need him?
by Leslie A. Shields 12 years ago
Notice the first word.... clean.We are an international community of writers...i think it would be fun and interesting if we created a list of some of our favorite "clean" slang terms. List the term or phrase and the country of use and of course what it means.....Maybe even use it in...
by rhtrules 13 years ago
OkLets start with the funniest word or sentence you have ever deal with.You can post as many times as you canThe funniest word from my side is-YoYo
by Cracknutcase 13 years ago
I've seen writers use "Blah blah blah" instead of etc,. Is it a correct form of usage?
by Peggy Woods 3 years ago
What funny incident from your childhood do you best remember?
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |