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Super Chick Sisters: Online Free Chicken Game
Welcome to Super Chick Sisters
Online chicken activism merges with 1970's graphics in this free online chicken game. It's free to play, but expect to accidentally learn salient facts regarding the hidden world of tasty chicken products. Subtle messages interweave with challenging challenges and puzzles to create a virtual world of chicken-saving and syntho-pop tunes left over from 11th grade electronic music class.
It's all fun and games until the horrible truth about chicken sandwiches emerges. Your job is to traverse scrolling mazes while defeating eerily familiar avatars. Hopefully, rescuing a fading B-list celebrity from the clutches of Big Chicken will be your reward. It could happen, and it does happen here..
How did we get here?
Like any good free online chicken game, a backstory must be presented. Suspend belief for a little while. Playing this game does not require turning away from everything you know to be true, like voting for Ron Paul, but it would help to ignore reality for just a little while.
Three Super Chick Sisters are extant. They hang out, they munch on fresh veggies. They wear natural fibers. They are called Nugget, Chickette, and Pamela Anderson. One would posit that the name 'Nugget' is culturally insensitive, given that such items are the end product of chicken processing. Perhaps they have a cousin named 'Barbie-Q'. One wonders if the family name is Bucket.
In this world without rules, Super Chick Pamela Anderson finds herself kidnapped by Big Chicken. Ostensibly evil food processing conglomerates conspired to spirit her into the foul world of fowl processing. Your job seems to be a rescue mission. Evidently The A Team van is stuck in the McDonald's drive-through.
Watch out for knowledge
Guide your avatar through the Super Chick world. Be prepared for a frontal assault of logic and reason. It's fun interlaced with facts. Did you know that a chicken must be killed before we can eat it? Had you any clue that perhaps a chicken processing plant might not be analogous to a tiptoe through the tulips? Evidently they don't grow them in bite-sized pieces.
There will be politics
We didn't learn plumbing from the Mario Brothers. Perhaps the finer points of traffic control were absorbed through hours of playing Frogger. Super Chick Sisters transforms online free chicken game subtlety into real-world politics. You can't play the game without feeling transformed. No longer will you be able to download a free chicken sandwich coupon without a twinge of ickiness.
Subtlety takes a holiday
Sometimes we simply crave a little 2D scrolling and tedious background music. We want to dodge virtual dangers while accumulating points toward a fleeting high score. It's an escape. The left/right/up/down arrow keys bring back memories of feeding quarters into arcade games at the bowling alley. Subtexts of chicken cruelty are unexpected. Blatant animal abuse aphorisms tend to suck the fun out of the virtual world.
The saddest part
Work your fingers until they bleed, but don't expect to be memorialized in the pantheon of free online chicken game high scores. Big Chicken hacked into the database and took down the server. Evil computer geniuses (there are evil computers?) on the payroll of the military-industrial chicken complex have prevented you from seeing your hard work juxtaposed with the successes of fellow gamers.
Want to have some real fun? Chicken games abound.
- AtakaChik! Free Online Chicken Game
AtakAChik is not a tasty sandwich, nor an exclamation exclaimed by chicken pluckers suffering from blocked sinuses. In the pantheon of online free chicken games, AtakAChik represents one of them.
- Free Online Chicken Games: Chicken Table Hockey
- Online Chicken Games: Play Chicken Hunt
- Chicken Run: Free Online Chicken Game
Outside the barbed wire exists a world of chicken delights. Outside the fence no one eats chicken tenders with their bleu cheese while watching sports on flat screen televisions. Minions of Colonel Sanders cannot reach beyond the barnyard.