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9 Simple Ways to Build Your Self-Confidence

Updated on March 21, 2019
flavia mukyala profile image

Flavia is a freelance writer and editor who is a big fan of spirituality and self-help.

Self-confidence is one of the most important attributes that everyone should have because it plays a big part in someone’s life. It determines how one lives their life.

People with self-confidence are certain of their selves and are not afraid to make decisions. Self-confident are positive, they pursue their dreams without letting the fear of failure stand in their way. They know that failure is a big step towards success, so they don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves when they fail. They are positive thinkers.

On the contrary, people with low self-confidence are the opposite. They need reassurance all the time and often think negatively about themselves. They feel that they are not good enough or that nothing that they do will turn out good. People with low self-confidence are largely negative thinkers.

The good news, though is that anyone including you can achieve great self-confidence. All the negative thoughts and feelings of inadequacy that linger in your mind are eliminated for good. What you have to do is to start thinking positively. It stems from inside. What you think about yourself determines how you feel about yourself.

Gaining self-confidence is about you developing a positive attitude in all aspects of your life. When you develop a positive attitude, it will start to manifest in everything to do and your life will become bearable.

Just doing a few simple things can help you build great self-confidence. Let’s look at some of these simple things you can do.

1.Control your thoughts.

Controlling your thoughts is a great way to make self-confidence believe it or not: you are your thoughts. That is why the first step to gaining self-confidence is literally changing how you think. The best way to control your thoughts is to get rid of negative thoughts: those inner voices that keep telling you that you are worthless, stupid, incompetent, etc. Those are the voices that you must get rid. All you need is serious persistence in detoxifying your mind.

2.Think positively.

Positive thinking is a powerful tool in achieving high self-confidence. It helps in fading away negative thoughts. When you find negative thoughts popping n your mind, don’t suppress them. Just replace them with positive thoughts. Tell yourself positive affirmations like “I am worth it,” “I can do this,” “I am going to make it.” With time, your brain will get used to it naturally.

3.Don’t give much attention to negative thoughts.

When negative thoughts creep in your mind, don’t give them attention. Let them flow; they will disappear eventually. Don’t give them second thoughts; they will quickly disappear like lightning.

3.Hang around positive people.

When you choose to hang out with anyone, choose positive people. People who inspire you to become the best version of yourself. This could be family or friends or religious leaders. Additionally, stay away from pessimists and people who make you feel worthless, whether they are close friends or family.

4.Keep away any old stuff that brings back negative thoughts.

Delete all the photos and contacts of people who make you feel worthless. Cut the communication with anyone who reminds you of your painful past. You are way off better without them now that you are building your self-confidence again.

5.Exercise patience.

In case you are still healing from past trauma such as emotional or physical abuse, please exercise patience with yourself and accept that it will take some time to build self-confidence. Be very patient and persistent in the struggle of gaining self-confidence.

6.Explore new hobbies or talent.

This could be trying a totally new hobby like playing basketball, rekindling an old hobby like playing football or pursuing your old talent for singing. Whichever you choose to go with, make sure you enjoy it to the fullest. Do not hesitate to take part in the competitions if there are any. Hobbies can make very happy and content with yourself which increases your self-confidence.

7.Get accustomed to fearing.

Fear is natural. DO NOT FEAR, FEAR! Even people with great self-confidence experience it because it is just human nature to fear. Sometimes, this is a fear of failure. But you should learn to embrace this fear and not let it stop you from pursuing your dreams. When you embrace fear boldly and comfortably, you achieve gain self-confidence.

8.Do not compare yourself to others.

You are not them. They are not you. Comparing yourself to others will just kill your self-confidence. Don’t do it! Keep in mind that we are not all the same. Everyone has their own strengths and weakness. So you should just strive on improving your self instead of wasting time thinking of all the people who seem better than you.


Self-confidence does not happen overnight and neither is it a linear process. On some days you will be 3 steps forward and then on others, you will be 2 steps backward. Please be extremely patient with yourself during this journey. Remember, that in this journey of building self-confidence, persistence is the key.

All the best!


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    • Isivwe Muobo profile image

      Farrah Young 

      12 months ago from Nigeria

      Low self confidence is a pit that sicks all joy from you and anyone going through it should do all within their powers to overcome it.


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