ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

A Shopping Spree Look At Me-An Inside Look At Bipolar Disorder

Updated on October 21, 2012

Five Thousand Dollars? Really?

The meaning behind the illustration doesn't really call for an explanation. But I will give a brief one, It depicts what a bipolar mixed episode is on a very wretched day. On  this particular day,  Maudie, a kind and often cheerful soul,  landed in the psychiatric ward for a month.  Because she had been  intensely manic that day.  With depression,  irritation,  anguish,  and rage chucked into the mix. Bipolar 1 with  manic/mixed episodes are one of the most dangerous,  and the most difficult to treat.


Maudie had reached the point of no return.  She went to her regular psychiatric appointment that day, her regular psychiatrist  Dr. Lid was not in,  so she saw a substitute,  Dr. Can Full Of Beans.  Maudie recounted to him in great detail how very  manic yet embittered she felt.  She had a storm of raging emotions going through her head,  her anxiety level was so high her ears were ringing.  Maudie's recollection of these events were not very clear.  Because she was in a psychotic state that Dr. Can Full Of Beans failed to recognize or just did not have time to deal with the circumstance,  or merely did not care.

Maudie in her psychotic blur left the psychiatric office, and chose to go shopping.  The voices in her head were not leaving,  they were coming somewhat regularly now.  Maudie could not push them away,  as hard as she tried,  they remained inside her head.   She was very destructive,  she cut her arms and face with a razor blade.  Not deep cuts,  she doesn't know why she cut herself,   it was to occupy her brain she reasons.  She began to make phone calls to EVERYBODY she knew,  everyone in her cell phone address book.   Each person she talked to, warned Maudie to go to the hospital immediately.  So that is what she did.  Proceeded to the emergency room immediately .

Once she arrived in the emergency room,  they proceeded with a psychiatric evaluation. To Maudie's shock they informed her she was okay to go home.  Maudie was in a serious psychotic break and needed help,  help she did not receive.  She was apprehensive about leaving.  Maudie told them she barely remembered her name. But she signed the release papers nonetheless.

Shock set in.  But there was nothing to do but leave. If the psychiatric team said she was fine,  who was she to argue.  She did argue,  she begged them to give her medicine to make her feel better,  to stop the voices.  But they insisted she could leave.   Maudie left,  alone.  Feeling banished and ashamed.


The voices became stronger,  they displeased her.  So she went shopping,   shopping until the money was gone.  Maudie's cart was choke full,  it didn't matter with what, it was full of things she didn't need,  but she didn't care.  She did what she had to do.  Shop, so she would not hurt herself even more.   Maudie made more phone calls.  Her therapist and psychiatrist  told her to stay put,  they would find her.  Maudie didn't listen.  The voices were stronger.  "A Shopping Spree, Look At Me," Maudie sang.

She drove and drove all over the city.  Randomly stopping to shop.  She rear-ended another vehicle, and drove over the curb.  The men in the other car let it go.  The phone calls Maudie made were erratic and hard to comprehend.  Maudie's therapist and doctor were never able to locate her. Maudie reached her mother on her cell phone,  her mother was able to guide her the 60 mile drive back home.

The next day,  Maudie's parents took her to the hospital,   her regular psychiatrist Dr Lid and therapist Miss Feel Okay had Maudie committed.  No one understands why,  in  her condition she was not admitted the day before.  Maudie had very obvious cuts and scratches on her arms and face.  Self-injury was very evident.  Maudie had visible mental health issues.  She had been in the hospital several months earlier,  Maudie now built a wall as far as reaching out to professionals. No more.

And this last incident with an emergency room,  single-handedly demonstrated to her,  people with a mental illnesses are not always taken seriously.   This day was Maudie's one super manic day in a super store buying super stuff.  By the time it was all done Maudie had maxed out her super credit cards to a super $5,000 dollar limit.  Yes my dears,  a super 5,000 dollars.  Maudie no longer uses a credit card. Not even for emergency's.  It is the only way to avoid psychotic shopping spree's from getting out of hand. And that is how the illustration goes. A shopping Spree, Look At Me.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • crazybeanrider profile imageAUTHOR

      Boo McCourt 

      7 years ago from Washington MI

      Hi Dori- Yes I tend to agree. I often wonder when I am sitting in therapy what kind of problems my therapist has. Odd I know! Thank you for the comment-:)

    • fortunerep profile image

      fortunerep 

      7 years ago from North Carolina

      Been there and done that, sometimes Dr.s in the mental Health system are suffering worse than the patients. Thankful she is ok.

      dori

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)