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Coping With The Realities of Death

Updated on September 1, 2015

Dealing With Death Effectively

There is no secret that we will die one day or will experience the untimely passing of a loved one. Graveyards and cemeteries abound as undeniable signs that many have 'gone on'. No matter how often it occurs, one is never prepared emotionally. It's the ultimate loss of control perhaps that's responsible for this ill will toward death.

We now more than ever are taking steps to control whats to be done for us after we die. I will cover some important decisions that need to be made in anticipation of that day.


  • Wills are contracts drawn up with specific instructions to your survivors regarding your estate (the stuff you own). An executor is chosen by you to handle the particulars of this contract. In essence, who gets what if anything, These wills are known as probate wills. These can be contested in court.
  • Living wills dictate whats to be done for you in the event of medical quality of life decisions, whether or not you intend to be kept alive on artificial life support is the most important consideration of this type of will. These essentials are to be decided by you now. One would hate to have loved fighting each other over what you may want to happen as you lay in a vegetative state during a serious illness or after an accident.

Durable Power of Attorney

The Power of Attorney is a legal document that designates one person to handle your business matters in your place while you are still alive but still incapacitated. You are in a sound mind but you can not go out on your own and take care of business matters freely. You are known as the grantor and the one you designate to handle matters is your agent. There are several types of powers, but the best type is the Durable Power of Attorney. This one stays in effect even after you have become incapacitated. What you have decided before that serious illness still takes place no matter what happens after. There are at least two reasons why you need one. For health considerations and finances.


It is important to have a way to pay for funerals and burials. In lieu of having a savings account named for funerals and burials you must have insurance. There are two types

  • Burial: money is set aside for funeral expenses.
  • Life: Money is set aside for the funeral expense and living expenses in order to take care of survivors or dependents of the deceased breadwinner or main financial provider of the family before death.


These accounts are on file at the funeral home of your choice. You can save money in the account to be used to pay for the burial and to purchase services at a set rate before they are actually needed. You can also plan the type of funeral service you desire to have. The best advantage for this: to avoid burdening relatives to make decisions about what you would have wanted as far as your arrangements for burial and what to choose as your favorite song.

Funeral Arrangements and Burials

Okay, you have passed on your relatives have the task to go to the mortuary and make arrangements. Let's assume that you didn't do so. Your family can buy items needed for your funeral onsite or from a funeral supply retailer. A lot of cost conscious people are doing this.

Regarding burials each state has laws stating what is required for burials. Your local funeral home of course is in the business of knowing what is required. You can buy a plot of land for burial before hand at a local cemetery for yourself and another person. A spouse for instance. It's a lower cost measure because it is bought before use. There are also alternatives to traditional gravesites. With the permit of law and enough cash you can have one.

There is a time of trauma and unspeakable sorrow or just plain fear associated with death and dying. There must be a break from a loved one in order for them to pass on into the new world. It's also a step toward a new tomorrow for us all. This article is in no way a complete way to deal with death but I hope that I have given some useful information on what you can do in preparing for the death of yourself or a loved one.


The process of dying occurs at a slower pace for some of us. Hospice care comes into use for this time of a person's life. It is a 100 percent covered benefit under the Medicare program. This is a program provided for those who have been diagnosed with an incurable illness and who desire to receive palliative care. This care allows the patient to live with the disease in relative comfort. He or she has the option of living in an in-patient facility or to be cared for in their own home. This organiztion helps the patient and caregiver to deal with the dying process.

Patients and families alike are given a clearer understanding of what's happening at this time of the patients life. Families are taught how to help alleviate suffering. Care givers are instructed on administering medicines and taking care of daily needs of their loved one. Pastoral care is provided to help clarify a patient's spiritual beliefs. This goes a long way toward bringing serenity to one's mind making transistioning (passing) smoother.

I am personally thankful for the care of this very professional organization's aid to caregivers, family and patients. I have experienced first hand what they do to make this time of life bearable. Free grief counseling is offered for a full year after the passing of a loved one.

It is important for us who believe in a spiritual realm to consider what we expect for the afterlife. To me a transistion is complete when I experience what it will be when I leave this world for the next. My personal view of this is living in eternity with God.


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