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Does Being Nice Make You Weak?

Updated on October 6, 2019

I really think that being too nice in a relationship or in your interactions with people is highly misunderstood. This is why I had to write about it and bring some awareness to it so that more people can understand exactly what it is, and what it is NOT.

I think it come from the expression: ‘Nice people finish last". It took me a while to understand why this is true. People often try to take advantage of nice people, who show genuine concern and are kind to others. Being nice and not just looking out for yourself, placing others needs above your own, can make you vulnerable. Certainly, that vulnerability, can make you look weak.

Nice people can be perceived as weak people because “niceness” is often associated with naivety. “Nice” people can be seen as having a happy or content disposition, and that can also make them seem foolish or stupid. It’s assumed that happy people aren’t smart enough to know how miserable things are, and nice people are gullible because they haven’t experienced the harsh realities of life. So they can become targets because of these social assumptions. But “niceness” and “weakness” are not always related.

However, Living with hatred and spreading negativity is easy. Kindness on the other hand, kindness is a strength. It is much more difficult, and courageous to be kind than it is to hate.

Simply treating everyone you interact with during your daily life as an actual human being, with feelings similar to your own, instead of like some robot or trained monkey who is there only to perform a service for you as far as you’re concerned, can go a long way toward making life more pleasant for everyone.

Everyone likes to be recognized for what they are - an individual being with inherent value, who has their own life, their own feelings, their own point of view. It doesn’t cost you, as an individual, anything to treat others in a way that recognizes this. Being kind can only make you weak if you are being kind on purpose and it's not actually your nature. You're forcing yourself to be kind. If you do it naturally and from all your heart you know that it's not going to matter.

If you haven’t been nice in your daily life, try it — you may be amazed at how pleasant and friendly strangers can be, and even how much happier and alive you may feel!

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    • Lorna Lamon profile image

      Lorna Lamon 

      16 months ago

      I enjoyed reading this thoughtful article and I believe that we should treat others the way we would like to be treated. Being kind can not only be beneficial to others but to yourself. Thank you for sharing.

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