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I Will Never Be Good Enough: A Moment with Bill Reflection

Updated on June 10, 2014

Story Time

Sit back, relax, and let me tell you a story.

When I was a junior in high school I qualified for the state junior bowling tournament. For those of us who bowled religiously, this was a big deal. We had to qualify out of some 2,000 bowlers even to make it to the state tournament, and then we had to compete with 250 others once we had qualified.

It was a weekend-long tournament in Yakima, a city on the eastern side of Washington about 180 miles from my hometown, so our district bowlers were poured into several cars and we made the trip to the tournament.

I remember being quite nervous. I remember thinking I didn’t have a chance of placing well in the tournament. I remember hoping that I just didn’t embarrass myself.

I bowled a 632 series that weekend, the highest series I had ever bowled, and I came in 2nd in the state of Washington. I was given a huge trophy proclaiming me to be the second best junior bowler for 1965.

The ride back home was all pats on the back and congratulations, Bill, and man alive, you were great….and I smiled, and laughed, and thanked one and all for the kind words, while thinking to myself that I should have done better. I could picture in my mind the three balls I had rolled that cost me the tournament and kept me from winning it all, and I was so very disappointed in my performance.

I could have done better.

I should have won more games
I should have won more games | Source

Another Story…isn’t This Fun?

I sort of flew under the radar in high school baseball. I was a pitcher on a high school team that won the state title my senior year, and although I was certainly not the best pitcher on the team (that honor would go to Craig Hilden, who was later drafted by Houston), I was good enough to move on and pitch in college.

By my sophomore year in college I was on the varsity, and I had a good year then and the following junior year, and then I blew out my arm and never pitched again.

As a college athlete, I was in a very select group. Only one percent of organized sports athletes go on to play at the college level. One percent!

I should have done better.

I should have reached more students
I should have reached more students | Source

Oh, the Silliness of Youth, Right?

As a teacher, three times I was nominated as one of America’s best teachers. How many teachers are there in this country? I was chosen as one of the top one hundred teachers in the country…stop and think about what an honor that was….and I should have done better. Still to this day I will hear from many of my former students, telling me what a huge influence I was on their lives…and all I can think about are the students I couldn’t save or help.

I should have done a better job of teaching.

Today I am a writer, and in the past three years I have written two novels and over two-thousand articles, several of which have been published in magazines. Less than one percent of the world’s population has done what I have done as a writer…..

I just finished my second novel, “Resurrecting Tobias.” It will be published in the next week or so.

I am already telling myself that I could have done a better job on that novel, and it isn’t even published yet.

Please Understand This Point

I do not tell you of my accomplishments out of ego. Those who really know me do not associate “ego” with Bill Holland. I rarely talk about accomplishments, and I really don’t spend much time with people who do toot their own horn.

Still, one has to see the whole person, to at least partially understand what makes him/her tick.

I was a single parent, and I raised a wonderful human being, but I could have been better.

I have climbed and stood atop four major mountains, but I should have climbed higher mountains.

I was a brown belt in karate, but I’ll always regret not being a black belt.

And on and on we go.

It is exhausting being me.

And it is unfulfilling….always!

What Are the Ramifications?

Other than being psychologically exhausting, it is aggravating to the max.

I am never satisfied with my performance. I am never able to sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labor, because no matter how good the results might be, they are never as good as they should have been.

I shudder when people give me praise because I know, if they knew just how much better I could have done, they would not praise me.

People think I am ultra-focused. “My God, Bill,” they say. “How do you stay on task so well? How do you continue to pour out the mountains of words day in and day out?”

Folks, I’m not focused….I’m driven to meet a standard I never will meet….perfection.

I seek the holy grail that will forever be out of my reach, because no matter how well I do, I will never see it as good enough.

Do you have similar feelings?

See results

What Do I Seek, Then?

Well, I’m not looking for a group hug. I do not write this for sympathy, and I’m not into self-help placebos that will make me feel better for five minutes.

No, I write this because I suspect, and I’m fairly certain I am right about this, that there are many of you out there who feel exactly the same. Hopefully, by telling my story, you will realize that you are not alone.

Let me tell you a secret: most of us are screwed up psychologically and emotionally.

There, the cat is now out of the bag.

The longer I live the more I realize that most human beings have built their psychological homes upon foundations made of quick sand.

Oh sure, we strut around displaying our plumage and acting like we don’t have a care in the world, but that is all just the posturing of frightened little children who have grown into adults. We still whistle in the dark to announce to the boogy man that we are approaching. We all build towering monuments of apparent self-confidence that have cracks in the substructure. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.

Be honest. You know it is true.

I should be a better writer
I should be a better writer | Source

What Can We Do About It?

As my dad was fond of saying, keep moving forward!

The first step is awareness. How can we fix that which is broken if we are unaware?

The second step is acceptance. We will never be perfect, so the sooner we give up that quest the better.

The third step is self-love. Do not reserve self-love for those moments when perfection is attained, but rather dole it out in large doses for just being willing to fight the good fight.

That is the sum total of my knowledge about this topic.

Consider the words of Tennyson from his work “Ulysses:”

“That which we are, we are.

One equal temper of heroic hearts

Made weak by time and fate

But strong of will.

To strive, to seek, to find,

And not to yield.”

So I keep trudging forward, as do all of you. I will never be the perfect Bill Holland, but I can be a pretty damn good Bill Holland on any given day, and that will have to be good enough.

I’m going to end now and give myself a pat on the back for a job well-done today.

I suggest you do the same.

2014 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

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    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Deb, I've been to the D.C. headquarters of National Geographic, and wouldn't that be an incredible job? Yes it would.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      I strive to be the best that I can be. I'll let you know when I have that ideal job for National Geo. Maybe it won't be in this lifetime, but it will happen eventually.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I will remember that, Ann. :)

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 3 years ago from SW England

      Don't forget that it was your article that inspired the comment!

      Ann

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ann, in all seriousness, your comment is better than this article. Beautiful thoughts my friend...truly beautiful, and I especially love the last paragraph. Bravo...or brilliant if you prefer. :)

      Thank you dear friend

      bill

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 3 years ago from SW England

      Of course nobody's perfect but that's good. We'd stop trying if we were perfect. Life would be so boring, so predictable and we would not strive. Striving is what keeps us alive, what gives us goals, what drives us to better things. I always used to give many more marks for progress and effort than I did for end results; it's the work done to get to the end product that is important and that makes us learn and grow.

      You have achieved so much already but you want to attain more; we all should have that philosophy. I have done much, lots that I could have done better, lots at which I failed miserably, a fair amount that I did well; however, I'm still striving to produce better writing, better behaviour, a better character because without that effort, I'll dwindle, I'll fail my family and friends and I'll die.

      Good luck to you and everybody here in all you do! We bounce off each other, we learn, we grow, we communicate, we marvel, we advise, we help. We are human and we all strive to be better human beings. With each other's help we'll succeed, most of the time!

      Lovely message, bill. Ann

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you vkwok...I always appreciate your support.

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 3 years ago from Hawaii

      Thanks for sharing this hub, Bill. Really got me thinking.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      breakfastpop, you just made my day. I will be writing with a smile on my face, and I thank you for that kind gift.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 3 years ago

      I doubt there is a person alive, except for Obama, who doesn't feel they could have done better. I suppose when kept in perspective, the desire to be better keeps us moving forward. When it gets out of hand it stop our forward movement or it may cause depression. Let me tell you what I see when I "look" at you. I see a hard-working, talented human being who has enough energy for twelve people. I see a very accomplished man who is committed to his craft, his life and his love. Now that is what I call "making it". Voted up, up, up!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Debra. To tell you the truth, the straight A kids were never my favorites. LOL I hung with the C kids all my life.

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 3 years ago from West By God

      I will tell you a story....I bowled to but I never bowled good enough for myself. My parents and my sister all bowled and I just cannot bowl worth beans. The all got good scores. The highest score that I ever had, and it was only one time, was a 120. Now my mom and my sister and also my dad could type very fast. I think my sister types about 70 wpm. I can only get up to 40 and 45 in a good time. In school, as hard as I tried, I could only get C's or C+'s. Only in one class, Interior design that I got a b because I forgot to finish one part of the assignment. So I can relate to you feeling that you are not good enough. The thing is...we can never go back. Perfectionism is overrated. Some people can only get C's in life. Just think how boring it would be if everyone was perfect. What would we strive for?

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you DDE! I appreciate you being here.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Alicia. I think we can all relate.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank yo Shyron....and I did do my best...at that time. :)

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Great introduction h and such an interesting hub always a full mind hear from you

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Thank you for this hub, Bill. There are things in it that remind me of my life. I appreciate your encouraging words very much.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Faith, thank you for sharing your story. No sadness here my friend, but thank you for the hug. I would just like to cut myself some slack every once in a while and be pleased with my accomplishments. But hey, life would be boring if I was perfect, so I've got that working for me. LOL

      blessings always

      bill

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 3 years ago from Texas

      Bill, I think we have all been disappointed in ourselves at one time or another. When I was a little girl, and sad because I did not win 1st place. My grandmother only asked one question, "did you do your best?" that is all that is asked of you.

      Blessings my friend, I am sure you are where you were meant to be.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Well, of course I have a lot of ... well, too many should of, could of, would of stories too. I graduated from high school with a 4.0 grade point average and the Air Force back in those days wanted me to join and they would pay for my college to be an Officer in the Air Force. Being I was never able to travel anywhere really growing up, I was interested in it but not self-confident enough, even though I swore I was not going to get married until I finished college and traveled the world. LOL, I was married before the end of the year was out. LOL and still am! Also, I sang in the Mixed Choir in High School, as I was not good enough to sing in the highest choir, but if only I was not so shy to sing and really give it my all .... Then after marrying, we arrived in Tampa, Florida and lo and behold, I had a full Pell grant that would have paid for four years of college at the University of South Florida, but my husband and his buddies were having so much fun, I thought I had to work all day and then travel across town to go to college, when in reality I did not even have to work, as we had no bills LOL. Well, I gave all that up just to have fun and go to rock concerts with all the Air Force guys (my husband joined the Air Force, ironically)! hee hee I could just kick myself for not going on to school back when it would have been paid for, but I waited until I had two children and a full-time job and went to school at night to work in the legal field ... If only I would have thought myself capable of being that Officer in the Air Force, I would be retired by now and would have traveled the world and could be writing full-time by now ...

      However, let us not think of things of the past, but think of this day right here and now, and hopefully, 20 years from now, we all will not be saying, I wish I would have done so and so back 20 years ago ... so let's do whatever now!

      (((Hugs))) back to you

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dr. Bill, there's the rub, eh? LOL Oh well, the road is ahead of me and it's my job to navigate it. Thanks for the heads up on Adams..I just might take a look at his biography.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nell, I'm glad I could be here for you. :) We all feel this way, except for those with zero self-awareness, and for them I'm afraid there is no hope. LOL Thank you dear friend.

    • DrBill-WmL-Smith profile image

      William Leverne Smith 3 years ago from Hollister, MO

      Your article reminds me of John Quincy Adams. I happen to be reading a biography of his wife (I've read at least three on him, already). Love the guy! But, no matter his many accomplishments he always thought he fell short. Well, of course he did... as you so explicitly have pointed out, here!

      I love the context in which you've written this article. I have composed a similar article, many time, in my head, but never felt it the right place or time to put in on "paper." It felt good to read yours. Thanks for sharing - and continuing to strive for "better" - and best... but you'll never get there, of course. ;-)

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      You read my mind Bill, I am sure you do! only today I was sitting here thinking, what's the darn point? I got lots of readers this week, my score went up, then...crash! am I not good enough? etc and so on, then you come by and kick my butt again! LOL! and well done you for all your amazing achievements, and thanks for showing us that we all have insecurities too, big hug for being well awesome! lol!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Martie and yes indeed, loving oneself is a huge boost when the shadows are falling from time to time.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Alan, I will yield to the old-school wisdom that you mention here. Thank you for those thoughts....I'll be seeing my son today. I will ask him.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Lea! I have run out of ways to tell you how much you mean to me. As for Tobias looking exactly as he was pictured, we are now blurring the lines between fact and fiction. There is an awful lot of Tobias in me, and the opposite is true as well. :) Blessings dear friend.

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Denise, thank you for sharing your experience. That's what this article is all about, an open discussion about being human.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 3 years ago from South Africa

      I am one of those who will never be able to meet my own expectations. So tiresome! Fortunately I have learned how to love myself in spite of my imperfectnes. Bill, you have described this issue perfectly. Congratulations!

    • alancaster149 profile image

      Alan R Lancaster 3 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

      I'd say ask your offspring, what he/she sees in you. If you pass the test you can pat yourself on the back. If you rely on your own opinion of yourself you'll probably fall short all the time.

      I've said it before: 'there's nowt so queer as fowk'. That phrase was coined by old men and women long before 'thee an' me' came about, so . they probably knew what they were about.

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York

      Hi Billy buc, I love Joyce Meyers, and I just watched her phenomenal video. Thank you for including it with this excellent hub.

      I don't think anyone will ever be 'good' enough. Yes, we can always do better. David in the Bible rested on his laurels, became idle, and look where THAT got him1

      Joyce Meyer makes an excellent point: she was jealous of another woman who played the guitar and sang, and so she took guitar lessons. She finally realized it was not her natural gift...her natural gift is public speaking...she started at age 7. She then adds, "everybody can be a '9' or a '10' if you concentrate on what you are naturally good at rather than looking at your weaknesses. She then blasts, "STOP WORKING AT WHAT GOD NEVER MADE YOU TO DO ANYWAY!"

      Bill, you are doing what God made you to do. You are a "10" - the more one writes, the more one improves. Your wanting to be better is sincere and humble. I am certain Resurrecting Tobias will do terrific, only to be followed by a sequel, as already suggested. Then the sequel will be a '20'!

      LOVE the video you put on Facebook. Tobias looks exactly how he was pictured. God bless, be yourself, which you already are. Sparklea :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sheila, thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts. I think articles like this one are very important to help us all realize we have so many similarities, and we are not strange in thinking and feeling the way we do. Thank you!

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      I consider myself a recovering perfectionist. Sometimes, I will stand in front of the mirror and leave something amiss, just so I can say that it is okay not to be perfect. I have found that words are easier to perfect than musical performances, and yet I feel the same exhilaration as when I was on stage singing. Now, I am able to go back and edit and rework until it is almost perfect, and then let it go. Like you, however, when I go back and look at it, I see what more could have been done. It is a never ending cycle.

    • profile image

      sheilamyers 3 years ago

      There are so many times I think I should've done better at something. Some of that comes from within, but for me more of it comes from outside. I admit, I'm a very emotionally driven person. All it takes is for one person to tell me I didn't try hard enough or give me a dirty look because I didn't meet their expectations and I feel like I should've been able to do better. I get angry and upset. Later, after thinking about it, I'm able to push it aside it aside by telling myself if they think they can do better they can do it themselves.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Yep, Sha, I do know all that....but....

      Thank you as always. You are a blessing to me.

      love,

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...Will, that's the best laugh I've had today. Great closing line and I thank you for it.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 3 years ago from Central Florida

      I'm glad you ended this post the way you did. I was all set to harangue you about making a difference. If you've influenced just one person in this world (in a positive way), you have achieved success. You have much more than that under your belt (even if it's only brown LOL).

      We will never be perfect. That defies the definition of what it is to be a human being. Yes, we must dream, strive, and achieve. And raise the bar each time we do. However, stressing out over "I could have/should have done more" is a recipe for ill health physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

      We can always do better. As long as we try, we achieve. We also need breaks to clear our heads, enjoy much-needed down time, and relax.

      You're awesome, Bill. You continue to touch lives and make a difference on a daily basis. That, my friend, is a bombastic achievement!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Love your attitude, Marlene, and I'm so appreciative of you.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Heidi, thanks for sharing that. My reaction would have been the same as yours if someone told me that....forget about the hundreds who had no problem and concentrate on the one negative. LOL Oh well, we keep growing, don't we? :) Thank you!

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 3 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Coulda, woulda, shoulda...the basic building blocks of an unhappy camper, always striving to be the best and not appreciating what has already been accomplished..

      It takes most of us a long time to realize that what we really want is simple contentment and peace. Some of us never do.

      Excellent as always, Bill (but you could have done better!)

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 3 years ago from Northern California, USA

      Bill, I don't think anyone is ever the "best". Some people are just more fortunate - the wind blew just right. Sometimes good enough is good enough. In my book, that's alright.

    • heidithorne profile image

      Heidi Thorne 3 years ago from Chicago Area

      I think there are two groups of people in this world: Those who think they are too good for everyone else and those who feel they are never good enough. The trick is to find that blessed middle where good enough is good enough.

      Just had an incident where a prospect told me she found one of my sites hard to use. Being of the second group who never feels good enough, a comment like that could put someone like me into an emotional downward spiral. But then I got a grip on my feelings and remembered that many other customers have no problem with the site. As well, this is the best ecommerce solution I can get without going into no-profit zone. It is what it is and it does keep improving over time. It is also one of the few sites serving a specialty niche. So it is good enough for me, for them, for right now.

      Our "good enough" benchmarks change constantly and they should as we continue to evolve in whatever endeavors we pursue. The trick is to always remember we are good enough and that's enough.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you very much JMV9. I appreciate your input and kind words.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Dora and of course you are right. We do what we can do, and we have to learn to be happy with whatever results we achieve.

    • profile image

      JMV9 3 years ago

      Bill,

      I think the fact that you are always trying to better yourself is amazing and awesome! In my opinion that is as great a human being you can be. It's okay to pat yourself on the back sometimes or at least be able to accept praise from others. I like your style :)

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Bill, you also did better than you know. Who is measuring the multiplication of the good you contributed to the lives of others? Let's all just take a deep breath, thank God for whatever measure of good still left in us, and do some self-love, like you advise us to. Much opportunity for reflection!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Consider it now in the garage, Rachael. :)

    • RachaelOhalloran profile image

      Rachael O'Halloran 3 years ago from United States

      I'm sure it did, I was just driving the thought home. lol

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rachael, I love it....sequel!!!!! Gives me something to think about, as if it hadn't already crossed my mind. Thank you for some great thoughts on this. I appreciate you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Mathira. It is an interesting journey we are on, is it not? :)

    • RachaelOhalloran profile image

      Rachael O'Halloran 3 years ago from United States

      Bill, you don't sound any different from any of us who are goal-oriented and find ourselves reflecting on what could have been done better or faster or in more detail or in less detail.

      About your novel -- A novel will always be that one item in a writer's life where he thinks he can always improve on it, when in fact, it is probably perfect the way it is and anything he does to it will only mess it up more.

      One page of rewrites often leads to many pages of rewrites.

      Once a writer starts on rewrites, he can't stop himself - he looks for more areas to improve.

      Often because of a rewrite he finds more chapters that now have to be adjusted. It can spiral out of control. For a very long time too.

      It will never get to publication if a writer doesn't stop himself and say "I am happy with this book as it is."

      One word can help an obsessive writer get past all those rewrites he wants to do.

      "Sequel."

      So if you are sitting there thinking of stuff you could have done with the novel that is being published IN A WEEK!!!! (OMG how great is that!!!), get working on the sequel. lol

      Love to read your articles, Bill. Glad I stopped by to catch this one. :)

    • mathira profile image

      mathira 3 years ago from chennai

      billy, I totally agree with your three steps. Unless there is acceptance in life you can never be happy. It felt nice to have a peep into your achievements.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      BNadyn, I'm glad you enjoyed this. Stay tuned, I've got more looks inside of my brain. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Ruby! It's nice to know I'm not alone in my weirdness. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Liz, misery loves company. LOL I love it....who are these people who can watch five hours of television each day??? How do they do that? I will never know.

      Thank you my friend.

    • BNadyn profile image

      Bernadyn 3 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida

      I like that the cat is out of the bag, LOL. You're right, many of us feel this same way, I know I do for goals I'm always trying to reach, things I've already done and then as being a parent. I think it's good to reflect on those things, though, every now and then for self-improvement. Moving forward, acceptance and self-love are good words to remember, thanks for that and for your stories, enjoyed reading this. :)

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Without knowing me, you've written my story! But i must say, " I'm growing more confidant each day that i will never reach the status of perfection. I do wish i could've enjoyed the accomplishments i have gained without thinking it wasn't good enough. Your honesty is compelling and i appreciate everything you write.....

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      yes indeed, Flourish....if it were only that simple. :) Thank you!

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      Elizabeth Parker 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Bill - I have to say that I absolutely loved this hub, because as I'm reading, I'm nodding my head, saying "yep, me too." If there is ever a time I am depressed, it is because I am my own worst enemy, constantly setting goals for myself and beating myself up until I attain them. I am pleasantly envious of the person who is content sitting down, watching television and who has learned to relax, without trying to set and reach their next goal! There is not enough hours in the day (and I don't have the amount of energy) to do every single thing that I want to do, thus I'll always be saying, "I should've done better." Great hub- awesome message and you're not alone!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Be happy with who you are, but always seek to be better.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      and I will make this really simple...thank you, DJ! That means a great deal to me.

      bill

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      DJ Anderson 3 years ago

      I will make it really simple. If it was not for Bill Holland, I would not be writing a novel today. When it is finished, you may cover your head and

      deny any association with me. LOL

      I say this earnestly, you have been the encouragement behind this

      writer, and I thank you.

      DJ.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      And thank you for your thoughts, Carol. We continue to plod forward, don't we....and we pick up a few answers along the way. Have a wonderful journey today my friend.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Good morning Kindred and a very Happy Tuesday to you. Contentment? Closer today than yesterday. When we make incremental changes of millimeters, some days it is hard to see the change...but it is happening.

      Thank you my dear friend. It is always a pleasure having you stop by.

      hugs heading back atcha.

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      carol stanley 3 years ago from Arizona

      And when are we better and satisfied. Look at all you achieved--hard on yourself--Of course. Most of us are. We want to win, win, win and be the best. But even the best out there are NOT the best all the time. It is not a lasting place to be no matter what..but how we feel about ourselves is lasting. This is not about ego but achievement...and we all want it...even as we age that never goes away. Great thoughts here and ones to ponder.

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      Linda Crist 3 years ago from Central Virginia

      Self examination is a virtue Kindred. Until we see and experience the darkness, we cannot recognize or appreciate the light. There are many things in my life that I wish I had done better but with age, I am coming to terms with it. When doubt starts to fill those crevices in my brain, I remind myself that I could have done a lot worse. I made some bad choices in life but somehow escaped serious consequences. Like everyone, I've experienced failure, loss, disappointment, etc. and they all led me to re-examine my life and choices. It was during those times that I discovered what really mattered to me - family, friends, honesty, trust, etc. At this stage in my life, I find that I am content. Sure, there weer things I could have done better but I also realize that I did the best I knew how at the time and that is what has brought me to where I am today. I still have a bucket list of things I'd like to do but if I never do them, I'm okay with that. Why? Because I am content. I'm okay letting someone else do it bigger and better if it means that I won't lose what I've learned in my life.

      No, you don't have an inflated ego my friend. And I think perhaps that might be different if you had won all those awards and climbed all the tallest mountains. I'm thankful that you came in 2nd sometimes. We might never have become friends if any of it had been different. Huts to you for another great thought-provoking hub and just because...

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Janine, Happy Birthday, and thank you for your thoughts and experience. Have a great day my friend. You deserve it. I hope Kevin is going to spoil you silly today.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Trisha. I think it helps us all to know we are not alone.

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      Janine Huldie 3 years ago from New York, New York

      Bill, you suspect right and think it is just human nature not to think we are good enough for all we try to accomplish at times. Trust me, I have more then been there and will probably be there again. All, we can do it just try to do our best and keep telling ourselves this. Thanks and have a wonderful Tuesday now!

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      Trisha Roberts 3 years ago from Rensselaer, New York

      You sir, are quite an inspiration.. (By the way, I bowl too, still do). You are so right, no one is perfect, but we as humans do what we do out of love and passion and to define our individuality. This is such a great hub, Thank you for sharing your stories with us.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Donna, thank you for sharing that. I don't know my friend...one day I would love to be able to take a compliment without thinking it was hollow, or not deserved. :)

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks for your thoughts, Debra! It is an ongoing struggle for sure, but at least I am aware of it and can move forward...ever so slowly. :)

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      Donna Kay Bryan 3 years ago

      Boy, Bill, you've just hit the nail on the head! I have been struggling with this for the last couple of years, and only hurting myself in the process. Every time someone compliments me for something, I feel that I have to downplay it -- never able to just simply accept the compliment. I have a small solo in a concert soon, and I've already told myself that it won't be good enough. So now, it looks like I'm going to have to accept the fact that I am not perfect (your second step), and move on to your third step. Thank you for giving me permission to love myself anyway.

      Very well done!

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      Debra Allen 3 years ago from West By God

      Wow! I like this and no I do not think you have an ego problem. I too have done things that I thought that I could have done better but didn't. That is called being a perfectionist. I used to beat myself up for that and sometimes still do with my writing.There comes a time when we are not so focused on perfection anymore and that is after all the missed experiences that we anted to have in life. Then we think, they are gone and that is done and we cannot go back...we can go forward though and that is what will count after we get there. Where there is is somewhere we haven't got to yet.