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Lifestyle Choices: Saying Goodbye To Excuses

Updated on June 3, 2012
How many of these people are excuse makers?
How many of these people are excuse makers? | Source
Some people can't get past the bump in the road of life.
Some people can't get past the bump in the road of life. | Source
There is always a reason for caution with an excuse maker.
There is always a reason for caution with an excuse maker. | Source

There seems to be an inundation of people on Facebook lately who have a myriad of excuses why things aren’t working out for them. Either they can’t catch a break at work or there are too many things to do or they don’t get any support at home or…..well, you get the point. Truth be told there is always an excuse why you can’t accomplish something. There is always a roadblock or hindrance that could potentially keep someone from getting something done.

For the most part I tend to ignore all of the whining and moaning but it seems lately there is more of it than normal so I felt compelled to say a few words about this matter.

My dad had a rather colorful way of describing those who always have an excuse; he liked to say, “Excuses are like A__H____; everybody has one.” You will have to fill in the blanks on that one since I’m not sure I’m allowed to say that word.

GLASS HALF-EMPTY OR GLASS HALF-FULL

I know, you are wondering what the glass has to do with the subject of excuses. Well, I think quite a bit. Those who always see the glass half-empty are always seeing the darker side of life and never seem to see the joy and unlimited possibilities in life. They can instantly see the possible downfalls of an action; they seem to have an innate ability to see problems where none exist. It is as though by sheer force of will they can turn a glass of water into a typhoon and it seems to happen time and time again.

On the other hand, there are those people who greet each and every day with a positive outlook and by their positive outlook they seem to surround themselves with good vibes; an invisible force field is around them blocking out negative thoughts and by extension negative actions. It really is an amazing thing to witness and I have witnessed it time and time again. Hell, I have lived it!

YES, I HAVE LIVED IT!

When I was being controlled by my cravings for alcohol my life was about as dark as it could be. My whole existence was centered around feeding the beast within me and the more I drank the worse it got. My life was going down the toilet and I could not for a moment muster up any positive vibes. I played the “if only” game….you know the one! If only people would leave me alone and quit nagging me. If only I could catch a break and get a decent job. If only people would recognize my talents and treat me with the respect I deserve.

Somehow, in my warped little mind, all of my problems were the fault of someone else and because I had all of those problems I had decided that things were always going to be rotten in my life, that there was no sense in trying because I would just be stopped by all the forces that were against me.

What a bunch of horse dung! The plain and simple truth was that I was my biggest enemy and the only person preventing me from living a happy life was me. I WAS THE PROBLEM!!!! Imagine my shock to learn that sobering fact. I had been raised to believe that a man could accomplish great things if he was determined enough but somehow I had lost sight of that; I had become blinded by negativity and stopped believing in myself. I started making…..excuses!

I MAY BE NAÏVE BUT……

History is filled with stories of famous people who started out with nothing but refused to stop chasing their dream. It would have been so easy for any one of them to make excuses or accept the excuses that were in front of them and stop trying to better themselves. Instead they pushed the excuses aside and found a way to make it happen.

I have known people who are an inspiration to me because of their refusal to quit the fight. I know single mothers and fathers who will not roll over and die simply because things are tough. I know people with physical ailments who push forward each and every day with a smile on their face. They not only refuse to acknowledge the excuse that so conveniently awaits them but in fact embrace their handicap as an opportunity. I know people who have been beaten down by abuse or economic hardships and continually rise back up to fight the good fight; they blame no one for they know the waste of time that blame is. Instead they keep looking for ways to better their position in life. If it takes working two or three jobs, so be it. If it takes going to counseling, so be it. If it takes sacrifices that many could not fathom, so be it.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT SOME PEOPLE?

Where is the drive to better themselves? Where is the determination to move forward? For years as a teacher I saw kids who were seemingly incapable or unwilling to take whatever steps were necessary to do better. The ability to find an excuse and accept that excuse seemed to be an inherent trait as if it were part of their DNA. Show them a roadblock and they could not see past it. It was as if they were programmed to roll over and play dead at the first sign of impediment. Where does that come from?

Conversely I have had students who, when presented with a problem, automatically dissected the problem and found a solution. There was no thought of giving up; there was nothing before them but finding a way to make it work. They looked at a problem and considered it a challenge rather than the end of the road. Where does that come from?

Is this nurture or nature? Are some people just born with the ability to rise above while others are born with the willingness to quit, or is this some character trait that is instilled over time in the environment in which they are raised? Whatever it is I find it profoundly sad.

THE WORLD IS OUR OYSTER SO SHUCK IT!

We were born with the capabilities of moving personal mountains. We each have talents and abilities that are miraculous in their nature. We have bodies and minds that are a wonder to behold. In short we have all the tools to accomplish anything. MAKE IT HAPPEN!

We have friends and loved ones for support. We have an entire world of experiences just waiting for us to participate in. MAKE IT HAPPEN!

We are not some primordial slime washed up on the beach nor are we a primate just looking for the best banana to eat. We have evolved into a fully functioning being that can solve problems and reason at the highest level. MAKE IT HAPPEN!

I have no patience with excuse-makers. I do have compassion, empathy and understanding for them but I have zero patience. Just as I had to be willing to overcome alcoholism so to do those who would crumble at the first site of a problem have to be willing to persevere.

There are some who are close to me who seem to be stuck in neutral and always have an excuse. I want to grab them by the shoulders and scream….MAKE IT HAPPEN! Don’t roll over like some whipped dog and accept a fate that is self-fulfilling. Get the hell up and do something to MAKE IT HAPPEN!

FINAL THOUGHTS

As you may be able to tell this is a subject I feel strongly about. I will never give advice about a subject if I have not experienced it myself. I understand the feeling of being beaten down. I understand wanting to just give up. I understand accepting defeat and being convinced that things will never be better.

And I understand the effort and willingness it takes to break those mental handcuffs and be free of fear, self-doubt and a defeatist attitude. I wish the best for all of you reading this. I wish that someday, somehow, you will MAKE IT HAPPEN!

2012 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

To order my new Lifestyle Choices book on Kindles go to:

http://www.amazon.com/Lifestyle-Choices-ebook/dp/B007ZV9G2U/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1336064586&sr=1-3

For more of my series on Lifestyle Choices see the following:

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/Lifestyle-Choices-Why-Am-I-So-Happy

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/Saying-Goodbye-To-A-Life-That-Wasnt-Working

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/Lifestyle-Choices-What-Will-Your-Legacy-Be

And a great read on this subject by my friend Dana:

http://danateresa.hubpages.com/hub/Advice-on-How-to-Overcome-Procrastination

Do you know an excuse maker?

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    • MelChi profile image

      Melanie Chisnall 5 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      It is so refreshing to read such positive thoughts! Unfortunately, there are those people who will always see the glass as half empty and I know quite a few. After years of trying to help them get out of their negativity and being rejected or ignored, I've had to let go of the idea of trying to "fix" them. It's sad, especially when it's people close to you that you love. Great hub, and a reminder of how easy it is to change your outlook on life - the world really is our oyster and there is so much to enjoy from life! :)

    • sandrabusby profile image

      Sandra Busby 5 years ago from Tuscaloosa, Alabama, USA

      Moving from being a victim to being resonsible for your life is, I think, one of the things that "separates the sheep from the goats." My favorite story about that is called "An Autobiography in Five Short Chapters." It really opened my eyes. Thanks for SHARING.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Melchi, you are fast today. I barely commented on your hub, read your comment on mine and here you are again. Thank you so much! I hope things are well for you in South Africa today! Thank you....my son is one of these people who makes excuses for everything but can't figure out why his life doesn't change...it saddens me but I can't "fix" him. At twenty-seven he needs to start figuring this out for himself. Have a wonderful weekend my friend.

    • Natashalh profile image

      Natasha 5 years ago from Hawaii

      I absolutely love it. I agree, there are many excuse makers in the world. I guess it's easier to make an excuse and avoid taking responsibility. Excuse makers always seem to think you're being weird when you go after something they think is impossible. It can be difficult to get motivated, but life is so much more rewarding if you take charge of your own existence. Voted up and awesome!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sandra, you are so well-read and always have such great suggestions for books to read. Thank you for being who you are and your support is greatly appreciated.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Good morning Natasha! I have no doubt that you are not an excuse maker. You are a doer and that's one of the reasons I respect you so much. Have a wonderful weekend back East and enjoy the heck out of life today....and thank you as always.

    • Gypsy48 profile image

      Gypsy48 5 years ago

      Billy, another great read from you! Excuses are so negative. The saying, if you want something done, do it yourself is something I belleve. Don't wait for other people to improve your life.

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      What an inspiring hub! Reminds me of somthing I heard once "All of your reasons are really just excuses".

      There are a lot of people that could benefit from your words. I am a "recovering excuse maker" so I am very familiar with everything you say. It has taken some pretty big lows, a few failures, and a great therapist to get on the road to positive change. I hope this helps others to get moving forward too!

      I plan on writing a hub on practical ways to overcome procrastination. I will certainly link this to mine.

      Have a great weekend!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Gypsy, thank you very much! It has been one of the more frustrating parts of teaching in the past, trying to get kids to take responsibility and quit making excuses for their own inactivity.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dana, I look forward to reading your hub and when it comes out I'll link to it as well. I appreciate you greatly and wish you a very happy weekend.

    • buckleupdorothy profile image

      buckleupdorothy 5 years ago from Istanbul, Turkey

      I know exactly what you mean - and have seen a few people very close to me turn things around for themselves when they dropped excuses and stopped feeling sorry for themselves. It can be difficult to find the motivation, but once you've got the desire for change you know it won't be long.

      Very nicely put.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Buckle...love your name by the way...this hits very close to home for me....my son....and he just can't seem to see that he is the problem. If he ever figures it out he is going to have a great life.

    • Sally's Trove profile image

      Sherri 5 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

      I just sailed through this one, Bill, because of your engaging writing. Are you talking to me????? I do feel you are.

      Just yesterday a friend expressed to me your opening sentiment about what seems to be a rash of negativity on Facebook. I agree with both of you. Negativity can be contagious, and in that many live so much of their lives online these days, the negativity seems to be exploding. It's impossible to miss it and, for some, to not be affected by it. As you are what you eat, so you are who you know. Keep associating with negativity, and that's what you will become.

      Up, useful, interesting...and inspiring. :)

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 5 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Coming up with excuses is the easiest thing to do, Bill. It takes away nothing. To strive and act against odds takes a lot of will power and work - more mind work than the physical. Everything is in the mind - success and failure, it's all up there and most of the times we are a step short of success when we quit.

      A great lesson in saying no to excuses and pushing ahead.

      Bravo Bill! Love your positivity and I'd rather see the glass as half full than half empty.

      Up all the way & shared.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Sherri! I have actually had to un-friend a few people on Facebook because I got tired of the whining and negativity. I don't even want to read it during my daily activities. Life is too damn short to read that stuff so I just say goodbye to them and wish them well. Anyway, thank you my friend and have a wonderful weekend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Rajan and I love your statement that everything is in the mind. I know for a fact you understand that as I find you to be a very positive influence on HubPages. Blessings to you and yours my friend.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 5 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Thanks Bill and you were real quick on this one.

      So long!

    • jaybird22 profile image

      jaybird22 5 years ago from New York

      I tend to stay clear of excuse making people. Whereas, like you, I have compassion and feel sorry for these people, I also have no patience with them.

      I think the people that we choose to surround ourselves with reflects a lot on who we are as a person. It will bring you down when your entire support network is negative about everything and thinks the world owes them a favor.

      I am enamored with how your personality and compassion comes out in your writing's. Voting up and awesome!!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      Oh yes my dear friend you have it spot on once more ;I agree and can relate to each one of your statements.

      STOP MAKING EXCUSES AND JUST GET ON WITH IT !!!!!!

      Isn't it nice to be able to shout with out having a sore throat!!

      After a very hectic week I am getting sorted and at the same time branching out more which is great;I think this break was needed and I am so glad that I can now sit back watch the progress and get back to reading your hubs properly once more.

      I have taken so many positives into my new era;wonderful friends of which you are one obviously;I've also had many emails from others and my progress as a writer;a lot of which came from everyone on here.

      Oh yes most definitely stop making excuses it doesn't wash does it ha ha!!!

      Do you mind Billy if I share this on pinterest??Please say if you'd rather I didn't.

      Anyway enjoy your weekend and say hi to Bev.

      Take care my friend

      Eddy.

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 5 years ago

      Lovely read with much thought that needs to be taken to heart everyday. The only one responsible, making can rise about circumstances is ones self, not looking back, but counting their blessings daily..Thank you for a wonderful hub Billy,

      Sunnie

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rajan, peace and happiness always to you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hi Jaybird and welcome to my site...thank you for sharing; you echo my thoughts very well and I appreciate your kind words.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Eddy my friend, you can share me all you want. I know I'm in good hands when you are in the vicinity. :) I am so happy for your positive move; we are both well aren't we dear one? Bev and I are making positive choices for the business, I am publishing more on Kindle and moving forward with more ideas and avenues to follow. I do not have time to look back and wonder the what ifs....it's time to move forward at a steady clip and enjoy life along the way.

      My best to you and Dai

      billy

    • profile image

      onlooker 5 years ago

      Bill, thank you and I do agree with you that positivity is something you embrace yourself but..sometimes when you're surrounded with all the negativity it does not come easy. Excuses won't last forever and happiness is something we all need to find on our own. Thank you, again!

    • Connie Smith profile image

      Connie Smith 5 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida

      What makes this article so powerful is the fact that you have overcome great odds to write it. That is very positive and very inspiring. Keep'em coming!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sunnie, your name alone says what this hub is all about, and your personality speaks volumes about who you are. Thank you for the kind words!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ava, you are right, it does not come easy...that's what makes it so worthwhile and precious. Miss you and blessings to you my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Connie, you are sweet to say that. We all struggle, and in the struggling we come to appreciate the beauty that is all around us....if we are open to it.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Oh GAWD! bill, excuses, excuses....don't ya just want to scream?? I want to and most of the time I DO! the thing is this, as I see it....even IF there's an excuse, legitimate or created....the ISSUE exists. Thus, the question becomes, "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TO DO ABOUT IT?"

      Every single day of my life, I find yet another reason to be so incredibly grateful for my parents and upbringing. While it was going on, I'm sure I wanted to run away from home a hundred times....the day adulthood kicked in, I realized what a blessing I was graced with.

      I clearly remember my sister and I giving at least a dozen "excuses" why we couldn't do something we were asked to do.

      Believe me when I say my Dad's method of disciplining with humor (sarcasm) made a more powerful impact than any harshness would ever have.

      His favorite was, "Well, that's quite heavy load of bullshit you just shoveled....hope you're not tired, cause you're still gonna get your ass out there to do the yard work....there's no future in bullshit shoveling." Wonder why I'm such a wise-ass? It's all his fault!!! lol.....excuses, excuses!

    • Vidya Mallar profile image

      Vidya Mallar 5 years ago from India

      Wonderful hub on positive thoughts in life. Voted up... Indeed Billy, we have always to look up at the glass which is half filled and try to fill it to the fullest. Your hub has filled in more positive vibes in me... Thank you. Have a god day.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, LOLOLOLOLOL Your dad and my dad would have made quite a team. He would get so pissed at me for my excuses and they got me absolutely nowhere...after all the whining I still had to go out there and do the work. Fear of failure was not an option in our household. God how I hated those lessons and God how I appreciate them now.

      Yep, a great upbringing for sure.

      As always, thank you my friend. Have a great weekend!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vidya, I am very appreciative of your kind words. Have a wonderful day filled with positive vibes.

    • Vidya Mallar profile image

      Vidya Mallar 5 years ago from India

      Indeed Sir, Actually I recently attended a training session of how we can make life more positive with in this little time on earth. After reading your hub, I was so happy to find that more people nowadays realize the importance of being positive in life... God Bless you with all that is good in life.

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Some people really do just rely on their excuses as an out to make a difference in the world. I'm glad you cut through the excuses! You are bringing refreshing hubs to the HubPages community.

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 5 years ago from Upstate New York

      Billy, WHAT A GREAT TOPIC and EYE OPENER. Yes, MAKE IT HAPPEN. It is so easy to make excuses for not doing something, and that's just what they are: excuses...Excuses benefit NO ONE and, frankly, they annoy me...not that I haven't done it myself...That NIKE commercial, "Just do it" says volumes. Thank you for a terrific hub and for providing thoughtful insight and motivation to your readers. Voted up, useful and interesting! Blessings, Sparklea :) PS: LOVE THE BEATLES VIDEO TOO! :)

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      I submitting your name for president! I was cheering behind you - preach it! Love the Beatles song you added, by the way. It's so appropriate. Sometimes we need to hear someone tell us to just "hitch up your pants and get going". My dad was a great example for his children on this fact of life: work hard and always do the right thing. Thanks for the coaching lesson today. Voted way up!

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 5 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      This is a great hub, the woman I left is one of those excuse people. Even with the illness I have I at least try to find the good...At least I hope I do.

      Hope I have not been "removed: from lists lol..

      Thank you for the great Hub Bill!

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Bill - Thanks.

      I was thinking about this hub again and something occurred to me. It is amazingly uplifting and empowering to blame yourself for your life's problems instead of other people. Odd isn't it? To feel good by being hard on yourself. But that is the only way to take control of your life. And really that is all a lot of people need to be better. Anorexia, self-injury, substance abuse, etc. all have a huge element of just wanting to be in control. Guess we are all just a bunch of control freaks. Thanks for pointing people in the right direction. :)

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      You put it well! I have tried over the years to rid my life of these people and if I can't, then I am around them as little as possible. Enjoyed reading your take on this topic.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Great hub Bill..I agree, being around negative vibes is a real downer. I try to think positive and be grateful for the day. Thank's for sharing..

    • Express10 profile image

      H C Palting 5 years ago from East Coast

      This is an awesome hub. People are excuse makers because they feel things should be given to them or things should be easily obtained. Informed people such as yourself and most of your readers know better and can find a way to meet their goals.

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 5 years ago from South Carolina

      Great hub and I agree with the points you made.

      As you acknowledged, when someone is stuck in an excuse mode, they are usually not receptive to hearing this kind of message and it can be frustrating and painful to watch them remain mired in excuses, unable to see their own magnificence or find their way out of negativity.

      It took me a long time to realize that I can't help loved ones or friends who are stuck in negativity and excuses. They must face the consequences of their actions, or lack of action. Some, after reaching their personal bottom, will find their way out by refusing to make more excuses and finally taking responsibility for dealing with any issues or problems they may have to face and overcome. Sadly, others may never find their way out.

      If there's someone reading this who's ready to change lifelong, self-defeating thinking habits I highly recommend that they read Dr. Wayne Dyer's book titled, "Excuses Begone!"

      Am voting this hub up and useful.

      BTW: I loved the clever captions under your photos.

    • Sandy Frost profile image

      Sandy Frost 5 years ago from India

      True words, billy. Excuses are just like hitting an axe on our own feet as we think at the time of giving excuses that we are surviving a waive of apologies as it'll cover and make a shield of protection over our mistakes or misdeeds but at the same time, we forget what we are doing is only for time-being and such situation may appear again but this time, without any option of quitting or fleeing away. Then, justification of a situatation'll depend on our own justifications to ourselves. Fleeing away doesn't help except grasping a whole life. If life runs by saying a motive of "face challenges" then it means face challenges, either around us or inside us. :)

      Marvellous work, thanks for sharing. Voted up.

    • nina64 profile image

      nina64 5 years ago from chicago, Illinois

      Excellent hub!!!! I saw myself in this hub. It's ashame that I let so many excuses hinder me. When I think of how my life could have been, I feel like I want to kick myself. But I'm determined to keep moving ahead and not to remain stagnant in my life. I will MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!! No more excuses for me. Again, wonderful hub!!!!!!!

    • Leaderofmany profile image

      Leaderofmany 5 years ago from Back Home in Indiana

      Great Hub, I agree with your dad about Excuses, seeing many things in my own past that have knocked me down and should have left me there with excuses a mile long, but instead I got up and trucked on. I look at others who have or in similar positions and they are making excuses and I just want to shout and shake them. If I can make it through the mud and grim so can anybody else. Hell, it took me 10 years to receive my Bachelors Degree but I never gave up. That's prove that anyone can go for some kind of education. Now I'm getting ready to graduate with my Master's and no it did not take me another 10 years. Awesome Hub, it should be posted on some individuals foreheads.

    • Ruchira profile image

      Ruchira 5 years ago from United States

      Priorities in life will help us avoid making excuses.

      I am glad you got your priorities straightened out...lol

      Boy, where do you get so time. I go away and see 3hubs of your new to me. How many hours do you get in a day, bill? Maybe the almighty is partial to you....wink wink.

      Btw...I thought hard and did not get to complete your dad's sentence...what is a word with a and h? Enlighten me pls.

    • John Sarkis profile image

      John Sarkis 5 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Great hub! Being in a customer service related field, I have to remain as positive as I can amidst turmoil sometimes. Hubs like these are very helpful to many out there.

      Voted useful

      John

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      I also see myself in this hub. I admit it, hold my hands up! But its only since I had such a bad time in the 90s, long story, every knock dragged me back down. But I am up now and trying my best, so great hub and very inspiring! cheers nell

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      LOL your dad sounds like my dad... great hub my friend..

      blessings

      Debbie

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 5 years ago from southern USA

      God bless you billybuc - how prolific!!! My absolute favorite hub from you yet. I know when I had to tell my son the truth in love that he was an alcoholic/drug addict and he needed to get help, as he ran out the door, then I thought to myself, now what kind of mother am I saying such, well, one who loves her child. And after his first and only rehab at Bradford, which took, I asked my son to forgive me for telling him such, and he told me there was nothing to forgive, as it was he who needed to ask for forgiveness, and that he learned that alcoholism, etc. is a very selfish disease, where one manipulates others, even your very family, and one does not see the problem is with himself, but, as you stated here, billybuc, with everybody else. Praise the Lord, my son got it!!! I just cherish those words from my son, who faced up to his responsibilities and realized it was all him and that there was no one to blame but himself for his choices. I am so thankful he chose to get help, as he is now the son that he was before all of this. Voted way up!!! Sometimes, as it is said, "We just have to put on our big girl panties and deal with it!" Ha. In His Love Always, Faith Reaper

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vidya, thank you and God bless you too! I surround myself with positive people; life is just too short to be dragged down by those who do not see the good in life.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Christy, thank you my dear friend and faithful follower.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sparklea, what a job you are! You always bring a smile to my face and for that I thank you many times over. Blessings to you dear lady!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Teaches, I hear what my dad had to do during the Great Depression and it kind of puts things in perspective for me. There are ways to make it happen; we just need to be willing. Thank you so much my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mark, I think you are an inspiration and I am proud to call you my friend!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dana, trying to control my life and the things I could not control are a symptom of my disease. There are some things in life I will never be able to control but then there are many things I have great control over. I just need the wisdom to tell the difference between the two.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pickles, you and I both. I spent three decades around negativity of my own making; I'm sure not going to surround myself with anyone who continues that way of life. Thank you my friend; you are always appreciated.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ruby, you are a great example of positive thinking. Maybe that's why I enjoy you so much. Well, that and you are a good person. :)

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Express, I just hand with the winners. The others have no trouble finding someone who thinks like them. :) Thank you so much!

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Gail, that was a lesson I had to learn; I can't fix people no matter how badly I may want to. It's a full time job just keeping myself pointed in the right direction. Thank you my friend and I wish you peace and happiness!

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sandy, your words are very true. Thank you for the thought-provoking comment and for reading my hub.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nina, self-awareness is the key...that and brutal honesty...and it sounds like you have it heading in the right direction. I'm happy for you and thank you for being who you are.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Leader, congratulations on that Masters and on your perseverance in the face of so many obstacles. I am sure you have inspired many!

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ruchira, you are so nice. I hate to print this word in response but you asked....asshole is the word my dad always used. :) Thank you my dear friend.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you John! I was in customer service for a number of years and you are right; it is very hard to stay positive. Best of luck to you and thank you so much.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nell, we all get knocked down. Some, like you, get back up. We are survivors you and I and I respect you greatly.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Debbie, I think that is a common attitude for those who came out of the Great Depression. Thank you my friend for taking the time and just for being such a kind and loving human being.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Faith, I love that....big girl panties. My dad told me to strap on some balls and be a man. I was not very receptive at the time but he was right and if he were alive today I would tell him that. Thank you my friend; I love having a new Hub friend who is so positive.

      Peace and warm blessings to you always.

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      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Bill - I know exactly where you are coming form. And I wish you continued success...

      To comment on Fath's comment: My favorite high school teacher (all girl school) used to tell us to Grow Some Ovaries! I still use that today.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dana....LMAO!

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      Faith Reaper 5 years ago from southern USA

      - billybuc - Your comment to me reminded me of something my Dad, 6'2" or taller man, big bad infantry man, sharp-shooter, war hero . . . would do and that was to run off all the boys who came to our door when I was so young, and asked if I were home, and he would say, who the ______ are you? Get the ______ off my property! I cried and cried and remember being so angry at him, but I wished I had told him before he died of a stroke in 1989, thank you dad, as there is no telling where I would be today, as I realize now he was just doing his job as a dad. In His Love, Faith Reaper

      - To comment on Dana Teresa's comment to me - Love it! Ha. Isn't it great to have joy!!! In His Love, Faith Reaper

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      Vidya Mallar 5 years ago from India

      Thank you Sir, have a blessed time with your family and friends

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      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      A great positive and inspirational hub. There are so many who look at the glass half empty, but if you don't get up and do something it never going to be half full.

      Marsha Sinetar quoted 'Life's up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals. Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want'

      If you lose your job... who knows there just maybe a better one waiting for you.

      Great hub, I enjoyed the read

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      Graham Lee 5 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Another great hub Billy. Although we must strive to make it happen, we must appreciate the difference between an excuse and an explanation, when something does not get done. There really is a difference. You are perfectly correct, we must be positive in thought and deed, otherwise failure is certain. Voted up and Awesome.

      Albion.

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      KatrineDalMonte 5 years ago

      Very good hub Billy. I think it's just too easy to have an excuse for not having to get something done, simply because it often just feels good to be stuck in the same gear. Anything new, any new challenge, going towards the unknown can seem frightening. Procrastination and excuses are seen everywhere around us, and we are all in the same boat actually. But at the end of the day it's down to common sense and an appreciation and understanding of what it is that we want to achieve. Only with focus and will power one can move towards achieving something, although there will always be obstacles along the way and lessons to be learnt. Nothing comes free.

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      SanneL 5 years ago from Sweden

      You have put it so well in this wonderful hub and I have to agree with everything you say. It's so important to have a positive outlook in life. To appreciate even the smallest thing in life and be grateful for every single day we have. I found negative people to make all the excuses. Thank you Bill for an inspiring and beautiful hub. Blessings, Sannel

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      moonfairy 5 years ago

      there you go again Billy...making perfect sense and writing a terrific hub! enjoyed the read =)

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Faith, dad's were a lot wiser than we gave them credit for. I didn't think my dad was particularly wise until years had gone by and I realized all the things he had taught me.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vidya.... :)

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rosemay, thank you! As I said in the hub I wouldn't open my mouth if I hadn't lived through hardships. There is a way; we just have to find it.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Graham, yes, there is a difference for sure and I hope I didn't come off as sounding insensitive. I do know that nothing will happen for the good unless we believe!

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Katrine, thank you! As I said before, you and I speak the same language. You are a positive influence on the lives of so many. We need to keep preaching the word of empowerment. Thank you for being you!

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sanne, so nice to see you back and thank you! I hope you are well!

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Moon, I'm sorry; I just can't help myself. :)

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      Shauna L Bowling 5 years ago from Central Florida

      Love it, Bill! Too many people blame others or circumstances for life not going the way they intended. The truth is, you have no one to blame but yourself! We, as humans, either invite, facilitate or allow hinderances into our lives. Sure, sometimes a monkey wrench gets thrown into the mix, but that's no excuse to stop striving for your dreams; delays may be the result, but giving up should never be an option!

      Kudos, my friend! Another awesome read!

    • Vidya Mallar profile image

      Vidya Mallar 5 years ago from India

      Billy :-)... God bless you and your family....

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      alocsin 5 years ago from Orange County, CA

      I think a lot of it is personality as well. As you said, some of us are "half-empty" types and others are "half-full." Me, a like to fill the glass with a nice cold milkshake and drink up. Voting this Up and Interesting.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, your insights are right on! We sometimes are not responsible for what happens to us but we are always responsible for how we react to what happens. Therein lies the difference between the doers and the victims in life.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Aurelio, you now have me drooling for a milkshake. Thanks for my friend and I hope you are having a great weekend in southern California.

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      neeleshkulkarni 5 years ago from new delhi

      ONLY We are responsible for what happens to us and ONLY WE can reverse or change it.once we accept this life surely does become tough because we cannot shift the blame on to others but then we have to choose whether we want a tough yet rewarding life or an easy and listless one.We owe it to ourselves to at least MAKE this choice.

      thanks for bringing this into focus once more.

      btw what was wrong with saying Addicted Hypertensives that you had to ask us to fill in the blanks ?

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Neeles, my friend, good to hear from you. I hope you are doing well and are happy. I have no idea why some people would be offended by Addicted Hypertensives but you know people!

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      Michele Travis 5 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

      Hi billybuc, another great hub. I understand, I am also very glad that people can help us.

      God Bless you

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      Dee aka Nonna 5 years ago

      There is a line from the movie/play Auntie Mame...I like using it mostly as a reminder to me. The line "life is a banquet and most poor sucker are straving to death". Your hub spoke beautifully to the fact that people who find excuses will often get stuck in time and never move forward. Voted up.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Michele; I'm glad you enjoyed it and God bless you as well.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Dee and welcome to my site....thank you for the following and I'm glad this hub resonated with you.

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      Cynthia Calhoun 5 years ago from Western NC

      No more excuses, Billy. It's about getting out and following those dreams! I loved how you need to "insert the blanks" at the beginning of this hub. I think that could also be a great metaphor. :) Have a great day!

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hey Cyndi, I've missed you of late. End of the year, getting busy at school, the end is almost upon you my friend. Freedom is less than a month away and that is very cool. Thank you buddy!

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      Katheryn 5 years ago from United States

      I heard a speaker once say that people can get stuck in their story. Their "story" then becomes their excuse for everything negative that happens in their life. What she said, in a nutshell, that made very good sense was that you have to change the (your) story. Get out of the old story, leave it behind and produce a new story for yourself. Many people who are able to follow this advice find that the "I can't" mentality can be switched to the "I can". I am not expressing it as well she did but I hope the meaning came through. I enjoyed your hub as we all need a little reminding every once in a while that the glass is, indeed, half full :-)

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Travel, that's a great comment and I love the analogy! For some reason it seems like I have heard it before but that isn't important...I love the message my friend. Thank you!

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      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      People who have not healed their wounds tend to be catastrophic and quick to blame others, easy to pass judgment...instead of thinking that they're the ones to reconsider their actions, whether it's an old pattern talking...

      this a great hub Bill...

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I agree, Raci; it is much easier to blame others than to look in the mirror. Thank you as always.

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