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My Recovery From Addiction And The Darkness

Updated on June 8, 2010
There Is Recovery After Abuse
There Is Recovery After Abuse

Battling Addictions And Abuse:

You may have read some of my stories I have shared on my past such as abuse, rape and anorexia nervosa. In this poem I pour my entire life into one reflection. First came abuse, then suicide, followed by drug addiction, a vicious teen-age rape attack, more suicide, anorexia nervosa, and then finally a special victorious moment that set me free.

I am an open book, I have no shame in talking of my past, as I dearly hope it can help some-body else. I never believed I was strong, but yet found strength inside me I never knew was there. I look back to every-thing that has happened with no regrets, no pain, no remorse, as I have truly let them all go.

If unforgiveness, unbelief in yourself, or the events of your past has held you back, I want you to know that you too can achieve what I have achieved, if you believe. I will walk with you every step of the way in spirit and soul…..I am no better or more perfect than any-body else, I have just taken back from my life what was rightfully mine

Please watch the video of my life story at the end of this hub and let it touch your soul.

Child Abuse
Child Abuse
Suicidal And Depressed
Suicidal And Depressed
In The Web Of Anorexia
In The Web Of Anorexia
Rape Attack
Rape Attack
I Was Committed To A Mental Ward For My Anorexia
I Was Committed To A Mental Ward For My Anorexia
Drug Addiction
Drug Addiction

My Recovery


Eyes portraying inward fears,

Robbed of many child-hood years,

Longing for that special friend,

Hoping all the pain would end.


Desiring love to come my way,

Down upon my knees I prayed,

Battered, bruised, with fear inside,

Many, many tears I cried.


As teen-age years crept up fast,

I held on to my wretched past,

When rape came by to bruise my soul,

My spirit broke, I lost control.


Fighting demons, bound in my heart,

I watched my whole world fall apart,

Although the speed ran through my veins,

It only served to mask the pain.


Although I tried to end my sorrow,

There always came a new tomorrow.

If I could not change the wretch inside,

Then I’d mold and shape the girl out-side.


So then the weight began to pummel,

My life a mere darkened tunnel,

And then another blow came forward,

As I was committed to a mental ward.


I couldn’t breathe, nor eat nor think,

Or be understood by the ward’s top shrink.

Each day grew worse as the disease took hold,

Alone, afraid, my body cold.


Then one night an angel stood,

As my body hit the floor of wood.

As nurses worked to revive my heart so dear,

I watched above with shock and fear.


My eyes were opened as I looked down in regret,

I whispered, “My life isn’t finished yet.”

I realized then it was just insane,

That I had carried others shame.


Tears of light freely shed,

Over wasted years my soul had led.

I pictured those who stole my pride,

As I let forgiveness free inside.


No longer would I be victim of my past,

With precious life ticking by so fast.

With every bit of strength unrestrained,

I allowed myself to break the chains.


I vowed with all my heart and soul,

To give my spirit back full control.

To let the pain and hatred cease,

And live the life foretold to me.


From that day I now walk in pride,

With love and joy and faith inside.

Believe in miracles and you will see,

The truth and strength to set you free.


Live each day, don’t look behind,

Live in love, try to be kind.

Lift up your sword and shout in glee,

“In this world there’s no-one like me”.


Recovery Is Possible For Every-one.
Recovery Is Possible For Every-one.
Healing After Anorexia.
Healing After Anorexia.

Spiritual Healing

If your life has seen abuse, rape, unforgiveness, disease, addiction, suicide, anorexia, whatever it may be remember this:


‘For past the meadow, dark and grim,

Lies joy, hope, and peace in spring.

As butterflies, do spread their wings,

Love, again, will well within’.


© Blondepoet April 2010 Hubpages.

All rights and copyrights reserved for the author. Permission to reproduce any of this work must be granted by the author.


'Dedicated to Blake for all his support in my hubs'.

I Live Each Day, And Never Look Behind
I Live Each Day, And Never Look Behind

Reflections Of My Life And Recovery, A Video Made By Blondepoet

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    • X-Con profile image

      X-Con 5 years ago from The Free World!

      I commend you on your strength to share your experiences in order to help others. I can relate with you, to some extent. I have a history of drug use and sales, which led me to 8 years in federal prison, which I write extensively about in my hubs. Your You Tube video was very well done, as well.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 5 years ago from australia

      Aww big hugs Dave much appreciated. You know whats great is everytime I fall now I know I can get back up xx

    • daveearley profile image

      daveearley 5 years ago from Chicago, IL

      Very inspirational! Thanks for sharing this, I enjoyed reading about your strength, love and perseverance. I think it will inspire many.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 5 years ago from australia

      Just you popping by to read this is enough thank you heaps mifarns :)

    • mjfarns profile image

      mjfarns 6 years ago from Bloomington, Illinois USA

      Wow. There are no words to express how courageous this is. I don't know what to say except wow.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 6 years ago from australia

      Dear Malonge thank you so much I really appreciated your beautiful comments thank you again. x

      Dear ErinElise wow when I read your comments it made me smile with a smile longer than the Equator....big hugs to you.. and may your girls grow up in grace, happiness and peace...thank you so very much xx

    • ErinElise profile image

      Erin 6 years ago from Near Sacramento, California

      Hi blondepoet,

      How are you? Thank your for having the guts to put your life out there like that. You are truly an inspiration. I just came across your hub and read it, watched the video, and I'm very, very touched. I am looking forward to reading more of your hubs which I'm going to do shortly.

      There are so many nice comments have been made by people that it's really hard to say something that hasn't already been said, but I can't NOT say anything. You are awesome and it is great that you were/are brave enough to put everything out there. I'm really glad that it was so well-taken. You are a beautiful person, a lovely daughter (I have twin daughters who are 8 and would not know how to handle it if something like that happened to them!). I wish I could give you a mommy hug now and back then and that I could've been there to tell you it will all be okay and we'd get through it together, I'd be by your side every step of the way. That darling that we'll get those bastards and they will suffer.

      Thank God they got caught.

      I am so glad to have found you here and hope that we can talk more. You seem like a really cool person who has a lot of wisdom and knowledge. I don't know how old you are, but you seem wise beyond your years.

      Well, I've got three 8 year old girls talking to me now so I must go so I don't sound completely distracted.

      Take care and I hope you always stay positive and forgiving. Peace be with you and God Bless. : ) I'm so happy that you were able to overcome and look at the positive side of life. That's awesome. Love to you.

    • malonge profile image

      malonge 6 years ago from Western New York On Hubpages

      From darkness to light comes a shining light for the rest of the world to look to. What a wonderful way to tell it to others so that we see and understand the pain and the glory. Very, very nicely written and presented. Best of luck always.

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 6 years ago from australia

      Blondey I have too. She certainly knows how to turn heads x

      Hey there Boo thanks a million for stopping by :)

    • profile image

      Boo 6 years ago

      me too pams out there doin it.No you not BP xox P:-)

    • blondey profile image

      Rosemary Amrhein 6 years ago from Boston, MA

      Thank you so much blondepoet ;) I've always admired Pamela's beauty LOL

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 6 years ago from australia

      Hiya Blondy wow the resemblance to Pamela is striking lolol. Thanks a million for your great comment, yes I have truly moved past my past and am a very different person now. Big hugs xox

    • blondey profile image

      Rosemary Amrhein 6 years ago from Boston, MA

      Hi blondepoet,

      I'm very impressed by this work. As I see you in the forums, you are very confident and show no signs of your past, at least to me.

      It was really touching and heartwrenching to read, beautiuflly done and put together, esp the video. Very creative, (lol) I'm not good at making videos!

      Your story is very inspiring, I've gone thru very similar things and it really inspires me to keep going forward and on and on.

      Kudos is all I can say...beautiful.

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 6 years ago from australia

      Oh Lorlie hiya buddy. Long time. That means a lot coming from you. Love ya. xoxoxox

      Dear Jamie it was a pleasure, thank you for your beautiful comment xoxo

    • Jamie Brock profile image

      Jamie Brock 6 years ago from Texas

      The poem and video brought tears to my eyes. I can SO relate to just about everything you wrote- the pain and the joy. I can't wait to read some more of your hubs. Thank you for sharing this :0)

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      The issues you've written of here are timeless. What we need to know is that with help, good help, we will overcome!

      Thanks, Blonde.

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Micky you can hit my buttons any-day I can tell you. Oh pedal harder, harder you just got to get here. Oh I a love a Micky too. xo

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 7 years ago

      It's a long way down here. I wish I could have ridden my bike. I'm a bit winded. My fingers are very tired. I can hardly hit your buttons. Of course to hit them -I'll have to climb way back up there! Is Australia still way down there in the Spacific Ocean? I love a blondepoet!

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Oh Peter what a beautiful comment. Thanx so very much. It really touched me heart and I hope all is true as you say. Have a fabulous day.

    • profile image

      Peter 7 years ago

      Anything we create that's gona be of any use to us needs testing, the same is true of Gods people and i think jesus wants you for a sunbeam, for you to be able to laugh these days and leave the past behind makes you great.

      I've done a bit in my time and i can tell your spirit is immense, you've been tested well.

      Like a peice of rock chiped away at until it reveals a beautifull sculpture.

      Like a rally car in pre production testing beaten and smashed until it ends up an unbreakable world champion.

      Belive it or not i can match you on some of your past BP,

      thinking about it is very dangerous for me and more so for others, i've got God pulling one way and the Devil pulling the other at the same time, keep rolling BP..

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Oh thank you so much dear Astra. Your beautiful comments made me smile so wide, and gave me a burst of sunshine inside. I am so proud to have such a beautiful follower such as you. Hugs and kisses. xo

    • Astra Nomik profile image

      Cathy Nerujen 7 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

      This is just so moving and I had difficulty reading some bits. You have clearly been through a lot. I am amazed that you have the courage to not only face these things but also be so upfront about the whole thing, and telling it to the world. That takes courage. You deserve a medal for writing this. I loved the video and the lovely music too. Such a life you have had. My troubles are nothing compared to what you have lived through.

      Just glad to be a follower and reading these great hubs. Thank you.

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Thanks A.A what a lovely comment. Yes I try to keep them simple and from the heart.

    • A.A. Zavala profile image

      Augustine A Zavala 7 years ago from Texas

      Beautiful poem. I read alot of poetry her on hubpages, yet these seem to resonate more with me. Thank you for sharing.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Thanx heaps Ru-an xox

    • Your Knowledge profile image

      Your Knowledge 7 years ago

      Well here are some more love to help you mend faster *cuddles* :)

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Hey there Ru-an you are such a sweety. Yes on the road to mending slowly, thanks so much for sending your love. :)

    • Your Knowledge profile image

      Your Knowledge 7 years ago

      Oh im sorry to hear that. Hope you are feeling better now. Hugs :)

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Back again for 5 lol. Headsets are great. Me talk lol, I always want to talk, just havent been here your time to do it. Am sick today with the flu sniff, colds really suck. Big hugs to you. xo

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Wow a lot in commen hey Ru-an...woops back in tic door knock

    • Your Knowledge profile image

      Your Knowledge 7 years ago

      Exactly. I hardly ever finished something i started and then it becomes like a pattern. Anyway im not going to allow that to stand in my way. I will eventually finish what i started. Miss you too. Thought about buying a headset but wasnt sure if you wanted to talk again. And you first have to get webcam too ;) Love you too.

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Good morn ru-an, I guess I meant I push myself constantly to be optimistic and positive. I have started so many things and never finished them, so I guess I got to push myself there too. Being in such a dark place once I constantly look for the bright things in life as I never want to go there again. Miss talking to you I have been flat strap, plus I have to download messenger again. Aghhhh love u heaps.xo

    • ruanz3 profile image

      Ru-an 7 years ago from South Afirca

      I couldnt push myself because when youre depressed you burn out easily and it brought on panic attacks and stuff. Its like pushing yourself when you are sick. Depression and panic attacks are mental illnesses after all.

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Oh thanks a million Cheeky Girl. You know your beautiful comments are 100% inspiring, this one has given me a huge lift to my day. Love u heaps. xo

    • Cheeky Girl profile image

      Cassandra Mantis 7 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

      This is such a powerful and moving hub. Gosh, I was mesmerised that you can talk about this so well, despite the life you have had. Life hasn't beaten you down, rather you have bounced back and proved that you can overcome such things. Respect!! And hugs!

      Oh yes, I am rating this via Facebook, other people should know about this great hub too!

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Oh Ruan so sorry I have taken so long to get back. I have been working full time around the clock and I am just exhausted like a blue ass fly. Oh boy I haven't really achieved all I want to achieve. The things I have done I have had to really push myself to do. Relationships failing yes been through heaps.

    • ruanz3 profile image

      Ru-an 7 years ago from South Afirca

      One thing i dont get is how you achieved everything in life you did with everything youve been through. Did this all happen afterwards or were you just that talented? I havent achieved a single god damn thing in my life. What i went through destroyed all self-confidence, discipline and belief i had. I have falied in everything i have attempted, including relationships.

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Oh brightforyou thank you for coming back. Wow I really believe that what you said. I feel incredibly deeply about things, love, life, living. Thank you for summing it all up. :)

    • brightforyou profile image

      Helen 7 years ago from Florida

      Just read this again blondepoet, its so raw and gut-wrenching and then, so beautiful. I believe that those who suffer deeply are able to give deeply, feel deeply - and move others, deeply.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Oh dang Ruan so sorry LMAO I got it down pat now. :)

    • ruanz3 profile image

      Ru-an 7 years ago from South Afirca

      Ru-an! Lol!

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Have just been to read your story, I am so so proud of you.Just think just by writing your story it will help someone else and be an inspiration to them. It was for me.My heart goes out to you.....HUGS!! You are far stronger Ruanz than what you believe love u heaps.

    • ruanz3 profile image

      Ru-an 7 years ago from South Afirca

    • Your Knowledge profile image

      Your Knowledge 7 years ago

      Wow i just went back to my hub and lost all my work. I hate it when that happens. I dont think its worth it to do it all over again. Damn. I really wanted to do this.

    • Your Knowledge profile image

      Your Knowledge 7 years ago

      Ok i will try to finish it. Thanks for the comment on my hub. You know i hardly follow any of those tips lol. I dont try to find love. I just work on myself and hopefully it will come some time. I hope you are doing really well xo

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Oh do keep at it YK I found writing mine stirred up many old memories but the rewards from doing it far exceeded the pitfalls. :)

    • Your Knowledge profile image

      Your Knowledge 7 years ago

      This is proving to be harder than I thought. Being reminded of my past is not fun :(

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      You do it any way you feel to do it. I send a huge cyber hug to you for having the bravery and strength to do it. I am right behind you all way.

    • Your Knowledge profile image

      Your Knowledge 7 years ago

      Ok cool its a deal. Im not nearly the writer you are but i will do this my own way ;) I look forward to sharing this with you!

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Hi Ruan wow it is funny that you say that as many many people comment on my eyes. I guess they are eyes that have seen a lot and kind of say what I am thinking. Omg I think writing your story would be a wonderful theraputic idea. Oh you must. I will be there right behind you. I found writing mine has helped me 100%. Please let me know if you do publish one I really would love to hear your story. I send love your way. :)

    • Your Knowledge profile image

      Your Knowledge 7 years ago

      Lol. But you really have very beautiful, hypnotizing eyes... You are brave for making these hubs. I dont think i would be brave enough to share my story with the whole world. Maybe i will just make a hub about my battle with depression, panic attacks, and nervous breakdown. Maybe it will be therapeutic or something xo

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Yes Ruan. Gee thanks so much for all your support, I am so glad you read this one. If I can get past this it shows anyone can as I am no better than anyone. Gee I am so glad I am not wearing a hat right now or my head would explode LMAO. You really are so sweet thank you so so much.

    • Your Knowledge profile image

      Your Knowledge 7 years ago

      Btw i hope you dont mind me asking but that blond in the pic is you right? Shes got something in her eyes lol..

    • Your Knowledge profile image

      Your Knowledge 7 years ago

      I will check out your hub, but surprised you havent found it either. But dont be sad that you are searching. From what i can see from your hubs you are both incredibly beautiful inside and out. And dont you forget that! Its just a matter of time...

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Cheri thank-you so much for your wonderful words. I am so glad you came by to read my story. People like you inspire me on a daily basis. Have a wonderful day.

      Oh Ruan you deserve all that and more. As I mentioned before I am so surprised that you do not have that. Then again I had a love so great it took my breath away and then I lost it. I wrote all about it in my hub 'Love Is More Intoxicating Than Wine.'I wish I knew the answer to your question, I wish I had that love now to compare it too but sadly I am still searching too.

    • Your Knowledge profile image

      Your Knowledge 7 years ago

      You can call me Ru-an btw ;) Yeah its a process, but you kind of had that out of body experience which is what i was referring to. Where it gets tough is when you realize what you missed out on. Every time i see a happy couple together or just young people having fun it reminds me what i have missed. Now im already past 30, i dont look the way i used, im even losing some hair. It just feels like i can never go back and have the things i missed. How did you deal with that? xo

    • Cheri Schultz profile image

      Cheri Schultz 7 years ago from Midwest

      Blondepoet: I am truly speechless by this poem. Your spirit, the depth of true feelings and triumphant recovery.

      May your source continue to guide you, surround you with his bright light and pour is love and grace to you, each and everyday. Grace and Peace to you!! Cheri

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Hi Your Knowledge gee I am saddened greatly to hear that you too have had so much happen to you. It really was a process for me too, it just didn't suddenly change one day, I had had enough suffering, enough anger, enough suicidal thoughts and actions, I just decided enough was enough as I deserved more in life. As it is for you my dear friend, why should you suffer anymore for things done to you beyond your control.I believe in you, you can be free, in your time. I really wish this for you. These things that have happened to us only make us that much stronger inside and unite us both. I send my love to you.

    • Your Knowledge profile image

      Your Knowledge 7 years ago

      :D Ive been through so much pain and depression myself, sexual abuse, etc. Although im sure not as bad as you. The worst was probably having a nervous breakdown. Anyway i never had that one kind of epiphany moment where things turned around. I always hear of people having such a moment but it never happened to me. I guess its a process for me, yet i still spend too much time still thinking about the past and regretting. Its like a kind of obsession. But at least the serious depression, panic attacks and suicidal thoughts are gone and im grateful for that. Thanks for your inspiration.

      Love.

    • blondepoet profile image
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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Omg Your Knowledge I was sure I knew you. I do remember. Wow. How could I forget such a handsome face as yours. Oh your comments were so beautiful. They touched my heart on such a rainy day as this. Much love back to you too. xo

    • Your Knowledge profile image

      Your Knowledge 7 years ago

      Hi blondepoet you may remember me from my other account ruanz3. Long time no see :) This hub touched me deeply, to the point of tears.

      You have also basically stolen my heart with this. You are one of the most beautiful and inspiring woman i have ever met in any form.

      Much love

      Ru-an

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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Oh amorea13 I am touched by your beautiful comments that made my day. I feel so honored to have met you, proud to be your fan too. Wow people like you make me shine even more.

    • profile image

      amorea13 7 years ago

      It's no surprise Blondepoet that you have so many readers for your poems - your words have iron inside them and they cut like flint, opening the hearts of others to their feelings through yours so they can know what you know - thank you - you display such a compelling combination of characteristics; strength of belief and purpose, refusal to give up on who you know you are and yet and most captivating of all, your heart is clearly full of love. What a combination. No wonder you shine, even without a hand being touched! Wow!

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Oh dear dear Kimberley you got me with tears in my eyes after reading what you wrote for me. It is so amazing even though our lives make it hard to talk together,that bond is always there between us.Truly that has to be the nicest thing anyone has written for me, you have truly touched my heart yet once again. I love you so much.

    • profile image

      kimberlyslyrics 7 years ago

      i love this

      i love you

      i love the bond we share by just being in recovery

      i love your honesty

      i love you spreading awareness to help others

      i love you are alive and safe

      i love you are physically and mentally healing everyday

      i love you, like me, can laugh at yourself and with others

      i love you courage, strength and hope

      by the grace of God i love the miracles that are coming to you if you stay clean and feel your spirituality

      i love your hilarious,

      i love your ability to share deep challenges while maintaining a sense of hope

      and would love that your hope lye within the ability to start to trust

      i admire, respect, relate, understand am proud, follow, and laugh with you

      i love you

      ODAAT

      have a safe 24

      xo

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Hey there Bib is he sick,oh gosh. Love the guy to death.Heck I will be there with my nurse bag in a instant lol. I think Blake is a wonderful warm hearted guy, a friend of his is a friend of mine. Thanks a million for stopping by. :) You rock Bibi with a name like that :)

    • bibi16 profile image

      Bibi 7 years ago from Phoenix Arizona

      I am not sure medication is going to cure Blake4d miss blondepoetess. I am a personal friend of the gentleman and I think what he has is more contagious than curable. To quote something he once told me, "I am not the plague, I am just a carrier..." ...I guess an inoculation might not hurt, what do you think? LOL

      BB16

      PS

      I love this hub you dedicated to Blake4d. What an honor.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Oh Silver thanks so much for such kind words. I am wrapped I could be an inspiration for others. You really are so lovely. :)

      Hey Blake wooofffff growl yodel. What's up LMAO, you have a croaky throat. I will order in some medicine lol.

    • blake4d profile image

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      Grrr...

    • profile image

      SilverGenes 7 years ago

      Your story is so strong and brave in the face of incredible odds. When someone asks, will it ever be okay, there is an answer. I can send them here. You have a beautiful soul and I'm so glad you are here!

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Thank you so so much Karanda for your beautiful comment, it has lifted my day. I appreciate you taking the time to read this, thanks so very much. :)

    • Karanda profile image

      Karen Wilton 7 years ago from Australia

      Blondepoet reading your hub and poem, watching the video left me speechless. You show such courage for sharing your pain and truly are an inspiration and living proof that anyone can if only they believe.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Hey Blake chew toy? Okie doke. Grrrr ruff ruff, BP spits it out. Not tasty, me prefer to chew on something else I do declare. Keep on hubbing too Blake or I will come get you lol.

    • blake4d profile image

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      Grrrrr....chew toy please miss. Grrrrr....I said, chew toy please. LOL...ROFL...LOL. Keep on Hubbing BP. Blake4d

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Oh hey Sage what a lovely surprise. I am wrapped to think you came by to see how I was doing. I got a huge smile on my dial because of you, my dear friend.

      Hey Blake I am sorry I have been slack, havent been checking mail for over a week, so so all over the place LMAO. I may not have mentioned you but....that does not mean I did not think of you....something for you to chew on ROFL. xo

    • blake4d profile image

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      I saw that you got to see you mum on the fave guys forum. Hope you had a excellent time with her.

      I also saw that you did not mention me at all. Well...I just don't know what to say. LOL. Love you BP. Blake4d

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      Sa`ge 7 years ago from Barefoot Island

      aloha bp; by the gods, i was wondering about you, been so long since i saw anything new so i came by to read the comments of last hub hoping to see some life here and sure enough there is :D am so happy to see you are busy as ever, aren't hubs great :D love yas ~aloha~

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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Hi Minnetonka thank-you so much I really appreciate your beautiful comment. :)

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      Linda Rogers 7 years ago from Minnesota

      Heart wrenching and beautiful. Thanks for your honesty and courage. Your an inspiration!

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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Hi Katie, wow, what a beautiful beautiful comment you left for me to read.I receive it with a very grateful heart. Thankyou. xo

      Hi AE, wow yet another surprise. Great to see you. You guys have put a sparkle in my day. xo

      Hi Tom you know I am not a public speaker but it is something I really want to do, just a little scared on my ability to do it. I would love to speak to kids at schools on anorexia and body image and to other people to inspire their lives just not sure how to start.

      Hi Jasper so glad you came by. I wish you all the strength in the world to reach the place you want to be. If I can do it, I know you can too. Send you my love on this day.

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      jasper420 7 years ago

      thankyou for sharing your story its ver inspiering im in recovery as well i know how diffuclt it can be at times your story realy touched me

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      Tom Ware 7 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Blonde Poet you astound me! Your ability to communicate heart-to-heart is undoubtedly your greatest gift. You're using it well here and, I suspect, it will be used to even greater effect in the future.

      Are you a speaker? I mean, do you do any public speaking? I'm into both writing and speaking; the two go hand-in-hand. Personally, I think you could very easily become another Louise L Hay or similar, should that be your desire.

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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      BP, (((Big Hugs))) you will always be my friend and I am glad you are free! You are right God is not done with you yet. :)

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      katiem2 7 years ago from I'm outta here

      blondepoet, Thank you so much for the gift of hope, love and truth you've given to so many. I loved the story, the poem, which I hear as a song, the video, love Love LOVE it ALL! It makes me think of the quote that is currently on my laptop screensaver, "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us" Ralph Waldo Emerson. May what lies within you be at peace and empowered to continue on with your gift to the world. Peace :)

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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Hey there Pretty wow about time we caught up. Missed you too you beautiful thing. You are as dazzling as ever. :)

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      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      awesome, of course, congrats and you did it, How are you blonde, miss ya, Maita

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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Oh Joy I just adored your beautiful comment I am so happy to have been your first fan and to impart strength. Have a beautiful day my friend. :)

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      Joy56 7 years ago

      Here i am again, listening to the song you chose, and gaining strength from your strength. Always a pleasure. Love Brenda. Yes you were my first fan, i will never forget.

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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Aww thanks Habee I am so happy you came by. :)

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      Holle Abee 7 years ago from Georgia

      Powerful, sad, uplifting - all rolled into one! Great job!

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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Hiya writer45 wow what a lovely and inspiring comment you left for me. You made my day. I will stay strong, you have my word. Have a top day. :)

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      writer45 7 years ago from Fargo, North Dakota

      Thank you for being so vulnerable and thank you for sharing a very difficult part of your life with us. I know all too well the power of addiction and how treacherous the road can be on the way back to staying clean. This hub is awesome! stay strong Blondie! Love, Writer45

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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Aww Rookie your gorgeous comment has put a smile and spark on my day. Love you guys. :)

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      Smart Rookie 7 years ago

      This hub is a work of boldness and beauty. I voted this hub both beautiful and awesome because that's what it is.

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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Aww thankyou Justine that means a lot. :)

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      Justine76 7 years ago

      Hi BP, you truly are a beautiful person, from the inside out.

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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Aww thank-you so much Enlydia I am sorry I made you cry, I hope they are tears of joy. Thank you so much for coming by. :)

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      Enlydia Listener 7 years ago from trailer in the country

      the video was beautiful (and sad)...I have tears in my eyes right now.

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      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Hi dear Ixxy, wow it has been awhile. Thanks a million for your encouragement and love not to mention the big hug, which I gladly receive. I guess anyone that meets me would never guess what lays behind and that makes me so chuffed. xox

      Hey there mrpopo aww you are so kind,u gave me a huge smile this morning with your kindness. Do not worry I will not let you down, each day sees more and more love, passion, humor, healing, without sounding modest, it makes me feel so so good that I got not only through this, but have become the total opposite, with a heart so soft and tender, and a cheekiness to share with you guys. xo

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      mrpopo 7 years ago from Canada

      Truly speechless BP... you are an inspiration to all of us. You went to hell and back, and you made it through. I'm glad to see that. Whenever I get down, I'll think of your hardships and battle through. I hope you continue to grow from these horrors, as hard as it may seem. Thank you for sharing this with us.