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Only The Lonely: A Moment With Bill Reflection

Updated on October 29, 2013

“Only the lonely
Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah)
Know the way I feel tonight (ooh-yay-yay-yay-yeah)
Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah)
Know this feelin' ain't right (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah)
There goes my baby
There goes my heart
They're gone forever
So far apart
But only the lonely
Know why
I cry
Only the lonely”

Roy Orbison

All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all come from? | Source

A Clinical Description

The psychological definition of loneliness is:

Loneliness is a feeling of social disconnectedness in which a person wishs that he or she had better social relationships.

All well and good, but anyone who has ever experienced loneliness, and I’m guessing that includes a huge proportion of our population, knows there is nothing clinical about it. Loneliness, although a psychological and emotional disorder, can have an almost physical pain associated with it. It can, in fact, become crippling, and from my observations over these past sixty-five years, I believe loneliness is increasing in modern society.

Causes and Consequences of Loneliness

According to research done by the University of Chicago, loneliness has many causes. Some are connected to genetics. Other factors can be physical isolation, the death of a loved one, divorce, low self-esteem, lack of confidence and even fear based on the loss of friendships in the past.

The consequences of advanced loneliness might surprise you. Negative effects attributed to loneliness include depression, suicide, cardiovascular disease and stroke, increased stress levels, antisocial behavior, poor decision-making, alcoholism and drug abuse and even decreased memory and learning.

That is the black and white of it; mere words to describe something in a clinical manner. I have my own words to describe loneliness, so if you would like, follow along with me in a free-form description of this common ailment. This is, by the way, an excerpt from my not-yet-finished novel……

I love Ted Talks

The Beatles understood

Only the Lonely Will Understand

316 million people in the United States. Well actually, if we are splitting hairs, there are 316,927,064…oops, 065….oops, 066….one new birth every eight seconds; one new death every twelve seconds….new pilgrims joining on the march to randomness, confusion, happiness, misery, despair, elation and on and on we go, Schmo, and where it stops, nobody knows.

316 million plus, and how many of them….how many of you…are lonely? Can I see the hands? A couple of you? Well you’ll notice my hand is raised high, high, higher than Moe on 4th Avenue after a three-day long run with the white powder and I’m not talking flour, Jack, and that’s a fact there are so many of us out there, 316 million people and somehow, someway, some of us manage to feel isolated and hopelessly alone.

How can that happen? We squirt out of the womb, push, push, one big push, and from that moment on we are fed, diapered, cleaned up, snuggled and endowed with warm fuzzies through childhood. Then we step out into the big, dark, mean world, and the population density squeezes our cajones until we can barely breathe, unless of course we ride horses in Kansas or raise corn in Iowa and then we really are alone, right, with our John Deere and our walkman cranking out the tunes while we till another field and pray for just the right amount of rain….

And when the rain comes, they run and hide their heads, they might as well be dead, and that’s the whole point, right, when you’re lonely it feels like being dead one little part of your anatomy at a time. Oops, just lost a finger; there goes a toe, where the hell did my nose go to, damn that loneliness, it’s eating me alive. Alive you are but it’s bleak, man, it’s oh so bleak, and the problem…the sixty-thousand dollar bonus problem, is that we really have nobody to blame for it all but ourselves.

I’ve pushed and shoved good souls away. I’ve closed the door, strengthened the walls, pulled up the drawbridge and triple locked all the lockables, all to keep people away, away, got to keep them away, because nearness means pain my friends, and pain must be avoided, right, we all avoid pain and why not? What level-headed person in control of most of his faculties would not want to avoid gut-wrenching, rip-your-innards out pain that runs so deep it makes the Mariana Trench look like a sand trap at Pebble Beach? Show me the plus side of pain and I’ll sign on the dotted line my friends, but until then the moat is teeming with alligators and there is no way you can get inside my heart without an express invitation.

And therein lies the problem. Am I right? You know I am! To avoid the pain of rejection…to avoid the pain of heartbreak…we must embrace the pain of loneliness. What kind of duplicitous shit is that? Where is the win in that situation? Give up any chance of love because love hurts, right? Just ask Nazareth for the truth in that statement. Love hurts! Anybody paying attention knows that you get stung in love. Loved ones go away, man, they go away. They hit the highway and head east and never look back, or they hit the highway and head to heaven, head to hell, and leave you here slobbering like a kid holding a dead dog, so no way, no how, am I setting myself up for that sucker play.

And so I’m lonely, and only the lonely would understand the comfort one finds in being insulated from the worst pain of all, the pain of losing love and dammit all, man, been there, done that and wrote the bestseller and trust me when I say there will be no sequel.

So it all boils down to us and the choice….THE CHOICE….what are we going to do? Continue to live like sardines in a tin box, sitting in some smelly shit but safely protected from emotional agony, or are we going to open the doors, open the windows, open the doggie door, peek out, slink out, venture into the big, bad, scary world and what? And what?

Take a chance….on…..love!

Reach out to the lonely
Reach out to the lonely | Source
Been there, done that and I'm not going back to loneliness again
Been there, done that and I'm not going back to loneliness again | Source

Are you lonely?

See results

And so We Do What?

Anger is a manifestation of a deeper issue... and that, for me, is based on insecurity, self-esteem and loneliness.

Naomi Campbell

We are such fragile creatures we human beings. Held together, physically, by muscle, bone, ligaments and tendons; emotionally we are a patchwork of flimsy, a veritable jumble of psychological discord that threatens daily to bring us to our knees. The economy is in the tank and prospects are few and far between. War comes and war goes. Deaths happen with regularity, some unknown to us and some so very dear. Pressures built internally and we need a release valve to keep us from exploding/imploding, and for many that release valve is the companionship of friends and loved ones.

But what of those who, for whatever reason, have no friends or loved ones, or who feel isolated from those who could provide support? Where is their release valve?

316 million Americans…..7.1 billion world inhabitants…..how many out there are lonely? Do they include you? Do they include your neighbor? Your casual friend? Your loved one?

Is there anything that can be done? Is there anything that you can do? Can you reach out for help, or reach out to be of assistance?

“Eleanor Rigby, died in the church and was buried along with her name; nobody came.”

During the time it took for you to read this, I guarantee you that people have died and nobody knew of their deaths. I, for one, find that totally unacceptable.

2013 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

“Raising awareness one person at a time.”

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    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Deb and for sure, be kind to someone today and all days.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      There are so many things that we might not know about friends and neighbors, this included. Good work in bringing it to the forefront. Be kind to someone today.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I do believe you are correct, Audrey. Thanks for your thoughts my friend.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 3 years ago from California

      This piece reminds me a bit of the work of M. Scott Peck--relationships include pain--and when we embrace that, we embrace life I think--

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, my loneliness days are far in the rearview mirror. I actually love alone time and always have. I am perfectly capable of entertaining myself, which probably says volumes about me. LOL

      Yep, there is sadness. I have had to back off of the sad hubs, the angry hubs, etc., because they take too big a toll of me. Now I'm working on pacing myself. Learning new survival techniques is not easy, Sis! :)

      Thanks of course....thanks always.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Bro...I love what you do, too! ...and I'm in no way, "The Lone Ranger!" Nor am I the Lonely Ranger.....it shouldn't surprise you that I have my own twisted version of "Lonely."

      So as not to write a complete hub here, briefly; I can say with confidence and pleasure.....I am NEVER "lonely in general."......(meaning, I feel an earth-shattering sense, only... of MISSING PARTICULAR INDIVIDUALS, at specific times, with an uncontrollable, unbearable ache.....which can present itself as a deep sense of loneliness.......FOR that person. I know you "get it." Aside from that tiny death-defying struggle.....I'm perfectly fine.

      Your 1st paragraph under "Causes & Consequences...." is powerful...packs a wallop, on it's way to my brain! And as to your question; "What kind of duplicitous shit is that?"........I'd have to guess it's the kind we see far too much of......everywhere we can look. Sad? Oh Damn it....so much is so sad, it's a bitch to decide what to work on today! Reading your powerful works, is always a pretty good start....UP+++ pinned tweeted.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Alicia! The more awareness that can be raised, the better the result for all of us.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is another very powerful hub, Bill. Thank you for emphasizing the plight of the lonely in such an effective way.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      A twisting rope that curls inside of us....beautifully stated, Dianna. Thank you for that perfect phrase.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      With the holidays approaching, loneliness will become a factor for so many in deciding how to spend their time. As we know, even in crowds one can be alone. It is a twisting rope that curls inside us and leaves us feeling empty. Great write on this emotion and I hope many reach out to the loneley this holiday season.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      drbj, solid words of wisdom as always my friend. Reach out and help one another!

      Thank you!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Loneliness does not respect wealth nor power. Every living soul may be subject to those feelings at one time or another. It is up to each one of us to resist those emotions, move on, and when possible help others who are lonely as well.

      Thanks for writing your interesting and inspiring thoughts on the subject, Bill.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you nancynurse....I appreciate it very much.

    • nancynurse profile image

      Nancy McClintock 3 years ago from Southeast USA

      Well written I enjoy your style of writing.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michael my friend, I like that quote by Anderson.....what are people thinking about? I think it is universal; we all share similar thoughts because we all have similar concerns. :)

      blessings and thanks my friend

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      PS, thank you for taking the time from your life to read this. Sadness when I hear stories like the one you just shared.....alone in life; alone in death. Sigh!

      blessings and a hug are yours

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you again Liz! Have a wonderful weekend my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michael my friend, determination is so very important. The "why" is out there for you to find if you are willing.

      blessings always

      bill

    • Michael-Milec profile image

      Michael-Milec 3 years ago

      Good morning Bill,

      My struggle with Michael continues... Some more help is available : this is speaking to me ,

      " It will be better to give up the notion of writing until you are better prepared...You must not become a mere peddler of words. The thing to learn is to know what people are thinking about, not what they say."

      Sherwood Anderson

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 3 years ago from sunny Florida

      Morning Such an apropos article for me to read this week...just down the road a man was surely lonely this week...his dead body was found tossed along a major highway, waiting alone for someone to find him...lonely and alone...

      How many are? How many long for just one other person to make them feel valued?

      Rhetorical questions, all of mine, all of yours.. we just need to ACT.

      thank you thank you for caring enough to share this!!

      Many Angels are on the way to you right now!!! ps

    • epbooks profile image

      Elizabeth Parker 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Well said Bill!! A very powerful message.

    • Michael-Milec profile image

      Michael-Milec 3 years ago

      Hi Bill, my friend, thank you . Your kind responses gradually changing my thoughts about myself, because your evaluation is completely opposite of what I see in my contribution. Most of the time doesn't sound suitable what I have to say anding up in trash. For some reason seems to me I'm lacking firmness of purpose... Trying to figure out if there is " why?" And that is time consuming effort. . . Still determined.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Joelle, you hit it right on the head with your remark about technology. I have seen less and less of the physical connections that you talk about since the computer took over our world. I know for a fact that I spend far too much time at the computer; that's one reason I'm excited about the travel article series. It will force me to get out on the road and interview people and get back in touch with this state that I love.

      Great points my friend. Thank you!

    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 3 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      Great hub about loneliness, Bill! It's definitely a problem and some people have lost their ability to connect with others.

      Technology has advantages and disadvantages.

      Advantage : you can connect with people far away who might have more in common with you than your next door neighbour.

      Disadvantages : we are losing the ability to connect physically with people. Some people abuse others because they can hide behind the technology (taking the "personality" of someone else).

      Loneliness is sad! I have been there when I arrived in Canada with my husband. I had to work hard to meet other people and make friends.

      As you said, it's very sad to think that some people die alone and nobody cares; is it what our society has become?

      Thank you for tackling another important subject, Bill!

      Joelle

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Always a pleasure vkwok; thank you my friend and Aloha!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michael my friend, that comment of yours was brilliant and beautiful. Well said my friend. I have nothing to add to it; it stands alone as a declaration of man's spirit. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

      blessings always

      bill

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 3 years ago from Hawaii

      Another hub full of worldly wisdom. Thanks, Bill.

    • Michael-Milec profile image

      Michael-Milec 3 years ago

      Good day, Bill.

      " Only the lonely know this feelin' ain't right..." - the restof the world will know about when choosing "feelings" to take over.

      Oh, William D .Holland this one reaches the deepest core of the inner man- the spiritual being. Does an opinion matters? we speak of experience, exposing ourselves to "strike out" if not flowing with common sense. This is also seasonable. Here is one influenced by the early part of 20th cent. common sense, saying a loneliness is by choice when opportunity strikes. Mostly coming here to this world alone,gives ground for feeling lonely every time when ' separated' from the source of ever-present companion ( why so hated spirit of the Life giver ?).Isn't beige propagated not believe by teaching or by own decision.? In my case there was a 'cheerfulness" in the atmosphere since being surrounded by the people who didn't possessed much of earthly things , depending on providing everything for themselves needed, ( cheerful man is never alone finding always something to do). Openly has been shared that one who Provides is always with you, never leaves you or forsake you, and that alone was good base since childhood as cheerful presence- which is more and above feelings ; and when " unexpected " or tragedy strikes, there was always more left to live for, and not choose to be lonely.If that is correct what the scientific research suggests as potential reason for loneliness, all eternity wouldn't be enough for me to be lonely. Accepting reality , this is my world where're my foot stands. I needed to let the uncontrollable go away.

      My life goes on.

      Not many are fortunate to have you as a cheerleader. Grateful for that.

      We're here to provide a better choice.

      Voted up,useful, and across.

      Have a peaceful and prosperous week.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ginger, at one time I would have said it was very worth it. :) Then seven years ago I found out I could trust, and slowly the walls went down. Very grateful that they did, and I'm very grateful that you stopped by and shared your thoughts. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Maria, I don't know if I could write without passion. :) I love writing....and I love raising awareness...and I love teaching.....yep, I love what I do.

      Thank you dear friend.

      love,

      bill

    • ExpectGreatThings profile image

      ExpectGreatThings 3 years ago from Illinois

      It was fun to read a hub and sing at the same time :). Have you read Relationships, A Mess Worth Making? He writes a little of the same things you do about pushing others away in order to avoid heartaches. It's a very sad state we're in. I wonder if that is the reason we love virtual relationships. There is no commitment, and we can be as transparent or concrete as we want to be. And the end result is loneliness. Not worth it in my book! - Ginger

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Well written, dear Bill. Your passion is so evident through this essay and you have selected the perfect song accompaniment.

      Hope you are having a peaceful evening. Love, Maria

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Faith, I would only make one correction...some are getting the help they need. We still have a long way to go in our treatment of those with PTSD. Far too many soldiers are still not getting the necessary help. Perhaps by raising awareness through our writings we can correct that societal injustice.

      blessings always

      bill

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Dear Bill,

      Social isolation is a killer. I believe it was the cause of my dad's death and heart disease, among other things, for after the wars, he had PTSD and people just did not speak of such back then and he suffered as did the family. I did feel lonely back during those times, and then I knew I did not want to end of like him, isolated from the world. It has been proven in scientific studies, that social isolation leads to much illness and even death, as I have researched, known of and written of ...and it is a sad reality for sure. I am glad nowadays PTSD is not something hidden away and that those suffering with such are getting the help they need.

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Jo! Some articles like this one come easily; some are a bit more work. :) I think it has to do with empathy and personal experience.

      blessings to you always

      bill

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      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Wow...another brilliant write about a very serious matter. Strangely, the only time I ever remember feeling lonely was in my twenties, a time when I was surrounded by people, but was living away from home for the first time. It's interesting, what affects our mental being to make us lonely and depressed. Great write, I can't wait to read the book.

      Take care my friend and my best to you.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Brandi, I'm adopted and I've been lonely a great portion of my life...until the last seven years. :) Don't you just lovee duplicitous? It rolls off of the tongue. :) Thanks my friend.

    • CraftytotheCore profile image

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      Yes, I too have felt the pain of loneliness. When I was a young girl. I felt very unloved. Very lonely. It was a terrible feeling. A feeling I vowed my children will never know! And in all honestly, despite coming from a huge family, if it weren't for my husband and children, I'd still be alone (not to be confused with lonely).

      Very thought-provoking. And I learned a new word, duplicitous. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Maria! This one came from personal experience, as so many of my hubs do. :) You have to feel the pain to write about it. :)

      blessings always

      bill

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      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 3 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      So true...so true. The sad part is when loneliness is felt having so many around. Nice hub Bill, very nice.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Sheila! Obviously I've been there myself. :)

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      sheilamyers 3 years ago

      You've hit on everything I've felt at one time or another and for the reasons I feel that way. Great hub!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jackie, looking back can be a very humbling experience. I've learned those lessons well; now I look forward to learning some very positive lessons in the future. :) Thank you my southern friend.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Nothing worse than looking back and wishing we had shone more love, took more time to let it grow, many many times when it is just too late. But if we are still alive we can make sure it never happens with anyone else we love.

      Love your food for thought...^

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Larry, you hit the proverbial nail on the head. Loneliness is an inside job, just as happiness is. The more love we have for ourselves, the less chance that loneliness will affect us....just my opinion. :) Thanks buddy!

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      larry kitzmann 3 years ago

      Yes it is I, your Iowa corn raising friend Larry. Another great piece my friend. I know I am in the minority here but loneliness is something I really don't identify with I guess. Yes and in that respect I know I am most fortunate. Now I truly enjoy being alone especially when hiking that though is not the same as being lonely. Even when hiking by myself as I use to do often when living in Colorado I more often than not met a fellow hiker along the way and we exchanged greetings. Maybe it's just me but I feel loneliness has a lot to do with being comfortable with who you are, more than where you may find yourself at any particular time.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Jeannie. I heard the song and the hub was born. I need to check out your new one; might as well do that right now. :0

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      It is so true that loneliness comes and goes, but just about everyone experiences it. This is such an interesting hub and a unique angle on something we all experience every now and then (and some unfortunate few that experience it all the time). Voted up!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Marlene, it is incredible the good that can come from one small act of kindness. Makes me wonder why more people don't participate in this thing called life. :) Preaching to the choir I know. :) Have a great day my friend....quite chilly here.

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      Marlene Bertrand 3 years ago from Northern California, USA

      Of all the feelings we have in life, I think loneliness might be the worse because it leads to so many other negative feelings - depression, anxiety, and whatever else brings us down. Sometimes, all it takes is one positive word to another to help lift someone out of the pool of loneliness. Thanks, Bill, for inspiring us all to reach out a hand, because that hand may just be the one that saves a life.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...that happens to me quite often, Ann! It's okay as long as it isn't an annoying song I hate. :)

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      Ann Carr 3 years ago from SW England

      You've nothing to apologise for! Do you know, that Roy Orbison song has been going round in my head since I read this - can't get rid of it! Nothing wrong with the song, love Roy Orbison, but it's there whether I want it or not!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ann, it is always a pleasure. I was very happy to share your work. You are on of my oldest and most loyal followers. I'm only sorry I don't do it more often. :)

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 3 years ago from SW England

      Yes it is up to us to open up otherwise it just gets worse. Fortunately, there's always someone out there who is prepared to befriend, help, etc. I've felt lonely once in a while but thankfully never for long and certainly not now. A great read and a good message, bill.

      By the way, thanks for sharing the link of my latest hub on FB; much appreciated. Ann

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Carol, that is the difference between loneliness and solitude. I love my solitude and I don't feel lonely at all. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      DDE, without a doubt a writing life is a lonely life....or one of solitude...I think there is a huge difference between the two. :) Thanks for the visit my friend.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 3 years ago from Arizona

      I also do not think being alone is necessarily lonely. I need a balance of being alone and with people. Too much of either is not good...that is in my opinion. I always keep a certain amount of socialness in my life because I know it is important..but I love doing my fun things alone a lot.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Loneliness can allow thoughts to run freely in ones mind and in most cases thoughts are weird. A writer lives a lonely life most of the time

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Poolman, I'm there now. I enjoy my solitude very much. The difference for me was learning to love myself. :) Thanks as always my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      No, DJ, I think we see a great deal of that from poets and writers. The good ones have a way of tapping into their darker natures and making it work.

      Meanness need not apply for a job at our house. We will kick it to the curb. :)

      Thanks my loyal friend.

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, a writer's life is not easy. I have felt it too; thankfully Bev is around in the afternoons to counteract the loneliness. :)

    • profile image

      Old Poolman 3 years ago

      I must be weird but I just don't get lonely. I enjoy solitude and function just fine without other people around. I don't dislike people, but can take em or leave em.

    • profile image

      DJ Anderson 3 years ago

      cmoney, I loved your comment. At first I thought, even the great Naomi Campbell can feel alone and venerable. But, now, I'm with cmoney. Like Naomi, I do believe that anger is a manifestation of deeper issues, but in her case, I think her deeper issue is meanness. I can understand aloneness, depression, and even a bit of desperation. What I do not understand is meanness.

      Bill, you always give great information and, no doubt, you are familiar

      with this all to common mental health issue.

      I do believe that poets and writers express what they may have a hard time expressing to others. Could be only my case.

      DJ.

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      Shauna L Bowling 3 years ago from Central Florida

      I'll admit, I feel lonely from time to time. Being home alone with no one to interact with but the computer screen and keyboard day after day, can certainly take its toll.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      cmoney, you made such a great point...when asking someone how they feel, for God's sake act like you really care, and really listen. I am so tired of throw away lines like "have a nice day" and "love ya".....we have become a convenience society where even the way we communicate is a form of convenience. When I look you in the eye and ask how you are, I really want to know. Sigh! Now you have me worked up. LOL

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mark, great thoughts of your own my friend. I will always believe that love is the answer...maybe I'm a fool. :)

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      Treathyl FOX 3 years ago from Austin, Texas

      I woke up tired and still sleepy. Thanks for the push. You just energized me. Now I'm gonna go take on the world! :) LOL

      Back on topic though. Loneliness needs to be monitored. If left unchecked it can set a person on a downward path that could end in suicide. It's a really serious issue that should not be ignored. So when you ask someone "How do they feel?", be genuine and listen carefully to their response. You might pick up on an Eleanor-Rigby-vibe in between the unspoken words in their response. So I'm glad this is article in online to reach the masses.

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      Mark G Weller 3 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      Loneliness....

      The ghosts of the past scream and taunt us, casting their dark translucent blankets of despair over our world. But the good news is, the flame of love lights our way and the light dispels the darkness.

      Great thoughts Bill, Mark

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      cmoney...dare...please dare! :)

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Heather. If I touched a nerve then I've done my job as a writer. That was a high compliment you paid me and I appreciate it. You have a great day too.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...Eric, I love that last line...loneliness is a dawg! Well said my friend, and thank you!

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      Treathyl FOX 3 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @billybuc - I'm glad you laughed at my comment. I hesitated at first. I thought: 'Do I dare speak contrary to the great Naomi Campbell?' And then I thought again: "I dare!" :)

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      HeatherH104 3 years ago from USA

      Well done. Some of the things you said felt like you touched a nerve which is actually a good thing. It means if others also feel this way there is no need to dispair, just take a chance, reach out, and make a connection to others.

      Have a great one and keep up the great writing.

      Heather

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      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Certainly one of my fav's by Roy. What I just detest the most about loneliness -- is not when I am alone. It is when that evil impostor strikes when I am sitting in a room filled with folks, or holding hands with my wife. I tell you that loneliness is a dawg.

      Thanks for reminding me of the cure.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Brian, I've been there as well. We were probably doing our construction act about the same time. LOL Glad I don't live like that any longer.

      Thanks for weighing in on this one.

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      Brian Prickril 3 years ago from Savannah, GA

      Hi, Bill. Well written hub and a bizarre topic when I stop and think about it. I've pushed plenty of people away throughout my life and constructed incredible walls, only to go insane with loneliness. Such strange behavior. Tear down the walls...put them back up. Tear down the walls...

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      mathira, thank you so much and yes, loneliness is terrible indeed.

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      mathira 3 years ago from chennai

      billy, loneliness can be terrible. Unless you feel loved you do not want to live. That is the tragedy of loneliness. I found your hub rather touching.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lizzy, thanks for your thoughts on this. Yes, you have been there, as have I. Now love has been found and I have no reason to return ever again.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kim, it is a suffocating condition and one, I suspect, many people suffer from. Horrible sensation to be in a crowded room and be lonely. Been there and not returning.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this; you obviously understand.

      bill

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      Liz Davis 3 years ago from Hudson, FL

      I felt the pain of intense loneliness, and it wasn't due to a lack of people in my life. Those invisible walls kept secrets locked in tight, and those secrets isolated me more than any physical boundary could. I'm with you, Billy: lesson learned, not willing to meet that teacher again!

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      ocfireflies 3 years ago from North Carolina

      Bill,

      There is nothing worse than feeling lonely. And while one may have family and friends who truly care and want nothing more than to convince one - he or she is not alone, if that loneliness is coupled with depression and has existed over one's lifetime, the ability to connect becomes so great a challenge (in some cases) that the person can end up like Eleanor Rigby. Eventually, people give up trying to help those they feel should be able to snap out of it.

      I am glad you took on this issue, and I hope people will not give up on their loved ones and will realize just how much their love can and does mean to those who needed the most.

      Many Blessings,

      Kim

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      cmoney, thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. So you didn't like that quote, eh? LOL Don't blame you.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...thanks Graham. I do believe it is a high percentage of people; we have isolated ourselves in society these days, and I suspect it is because of fear that we do so.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      My pleasure Randi! Loneliness is very powerful and painful; anyone who has experienced it will understand this hub. Thank you for your kind words.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Always a pleasure, Janine! Thank you for your thoughts.

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      Treathyl FOX 3 years ago from Austin, Texas

      Great HUB! Although I think the Naomi Campbell quote is just a load of crock, a sorry excuse to justify her behavior. We all get angry. But all of us are not lonely. So this is an excellent article to read if you're truly lonely.

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      Graham Lee 3 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Another great hub Bill. I took the vote it was 'sometimes' 100% I thought everyone thinks like me! Then I realised that I was the first to comment.

      Well done Bill.

      Graham.

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      Randi Benlulu 3 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Wow! Well said and presented! These are some powerful ideas/words.

      loneliness is very frightening and it can creep up on you. Thank you for wruting about this!

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      Janine Huldie 3 years ago from New York, New York

      I think you said this quite perfectly and there should definitely be something that we can do and just try to hep if we know someone in this state of mind. I have known a few who have suffered from depression and having the support of friends and loved ones does make a difference and an impact. Thanks Bill for your two cents and take on this.