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Should bullying be control or have we been over reacting about bullies?

Updated on August 15, 2012

What are bullies?

This is one of the bigger problems that no authority cares to address much. Are we making the topic about bullying overblown or it lacks the attention that it deserves? Many had been bully or bullied at which no one cares to step in to stop this before it gets worse. Would you feel safe letting your children into a school knowing that there are so much bullying going on and there is nothing that you can do about it? Well that is how many parents feel. Their kids go to school hoping to get an education but instead are struggling to make it through the day without being picked on. Bullying has no limits to just school kids, corporate bullies are also pretty high in numbers, and it’s also a big issue within companies which harbors these types of individuals. Many are afraid to speak up and it’s understandable because they are afraid that it will only become worse if the bully finds out. Bullying extended to kids bullying adults because they realize that adults are confined to rules and regulations that bar them from any punishment. A bully’s parents might do what is popular these days and slap a law suit for others that might try to intervene or teach the kid to do right. People can only hope that the day will be better as it goes on which is a horrible way to live life. Why do people being bully need to hope for something that befell them because the rules and laws are quite twisted to provide so much protection to bullies and let others suffer? Part of this might be because we worried about adults hurting children but reprimanding and spanking a kid for doing bad has been around for centuries and that continued to bring up children to be respectful, well mannered, and modest. None of that exist anymore because we allowed children to be in control of any situation. We allow children to have power over adults, and for that we pay a hefty price.

When you watch some kid on the street bitch-slap the mother for not buying them what they want or kicking and screaming for not being able to have their way, what do you think??? "Whoa I hope my kid isn't going to grow up like that”??? Well what if you were told that your kid might be like that and it’s because of how they were raised? Then things will get hairy because of how people would react to statements like that, usual reply would be "don't tell me how to raise my kids". Sometimes raising a kid and accepting what an outsider sees of your child whether it is good or bad helps a parent correct the mistakes their child might make before they make them. This shows reasoning on the parents half, but reasoning has been an issue in the world today. We choose to see what we want to see and not how it is shown to us. For those who raise their kids as bullies might not know him or her as a bully, because the kid’s image portrayed to the parents will be different than. Everyone exhibits some sign if they are a victim or the predator, such as one trying to hide their feelings or very jumpy to some with a hot temper, very hard to control. These are all signs that are very easy to recognize but some refuse to see it.

Types of bullies:

Bullies who are aggressive in their fruitless acts tend to be physically stronger, popular, hot-tempered, over confident, and lacks any emotion for their victim. These types of people are often trying to look for the weakness of others to exploit for their enjoyment. Much of these types of bullies are more often found on school grounds than anywhere else. They lack the ability to understand what is wrong to do and why it might be wrong, because they search for negativity around them and surrounds them in false hostility which they create for themselves. Much of these traits lead to what a psychopath or even a sociopath might be and that is what creates larger problems. They usually are charming and manipulative, but the worst part is they have or feel no remorse in what they do. Kind of creepy what a bully can become in life, but a handful of them become successful.

There are also bullies that are lacking in confident and anti social which are considered passive, they have a very low self esteem and not much about them has anything worth mentioning. They are just someone that was not well liked, and during disagreements incidents where the bully might engage in bullying acts become excited about the whole dominating theme. At this point they quickly grow close to the other more popular bullies to have a partner to work with.

Some bullies become bullies because they were bullied themselves. They litterally follow the saying “if you can’t beat’em join’em” . Not much to really define about this group except they are psychologically damaged. And everyone they see or know becomes a hostile figure and they mentally create a defense against people without prejudice.

Some studies show that there are bullies that are considered as “Pure bullies” these bullies have high self esteem and from some research shows that they often attend class regularly and never miss school. They have a love to victimize people and actually enjoy the whole dominance game over others. Pure bullies are actually much more connected in their social circles and can understand emotions quite well compare to others. They have little issues with grades and they usually outperform most average students. Pure bullies seem to be better achievers then most and their social status never missed a beat but problem with them is moral reasoning. Because they have problem identifying an emotion to any moral situations creates a problem with how they view others and those around them. There are much more pure bullies turning out leading a life in violent crimes than any of the other bullies.

What can we do?

There are too many suicides and killing because of bullies/victim issues, people can only deal with so much before they handle things the wrong way. In most cases, killing their bullies or killing themselves (victim). Back in March in Morristown, New Jersey a teen committed suicide because of bullies that he had to deal with in school. Should suicide be a solution? Of course not, but what do kids know when they are extremely depressed from the situation they have been dealing with and probably for a good period of time.

Bullies and victims can still be helped, much of this needs to be detected early on before it is escalated further. Much of the problems start from the parents giving too much way to their children or find that they themselves have issues with moral reasoning and hence the children too will lack moral. There are institutions to help correct this… or try to correct it but it’s a first step in making that change for the rest of their life. This is not to blame parents where circumstances put them in difficult positions. Most parents work and have little time for their kids… or wait, work is more important? Well to some it is, they feel that they provide for the family and should not be the one responsible for their children's action. A kid needs both parent figure to correctly function in society where peoples’ opinion make up majority of how society is viewed.

There has been many researches about bullying and victims of bullies, these researches were done to prevent soon-to-be bullies and to help those who are victims. As much as everyone hates bullies whether its in school or in companies it will continue to happen because its part of what we are and if it’s not controlled or “fixed” at an early stage it only gets worse.


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    • snoblet profile image

      Dave Rogers 5 years ago from New York

      @ alancaster149 Most don't want to get involve with these problems and turn an eye when they do see it. Bullying is pretty common because no one really tries to stop it. And no one in the real world would want to play "hero" knowing the consequences. All it takes is someone to take charge as you have said but even than is that good enough. Some things are not meant to be.

    • alancaster149 profile image

      Alan R Lancaster 5 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

      Largely schools try to fob off accusations of bullying by saying 'There's no bullying at this school'. What they mean is they haven't seen any, or their staff either overlook it or rely on 'monitors' to tell them what's going on because they can't be bothered to use their wits. Some teachers spot it and do something about it, but bullies are canny, and take care to do their bullying behind teachers' backs. They're probably better organised... Then they leave school, go to work and start all over again... It's as convenient for employers to deny anything untoward as schools.

      So what's the answer? Confrontation? Who with? We've seen these films or TV shows about bullying with happy endings, based on fiction usually. It's a wish-filled world, possibly by those themselves bullied at one time or another.

      Individual bullies will usually back down, but gangs are another thing. Beating them calls for organisation, and as we know those who are bullied are outsiders. Remember 'Carrie'? Results might not be as pyrotechnic, but you never know... It's a spectacular way of getting your own back if you can act the human 'flamethrower', but it's a bit over the top, isn't it?

      Just plain organisation's good enough, and the organisers get to be popular. Anyone care to try? Mind you, you have to be good at 'shepherding' to get the more timid behind you.

      You need to be a bit of a Churchill or Roosevelt to carry it off. Any takers?

      Nice piece, snoblet, keep it up!