Eliminating Swear Words
What the (BEEP)?
What is this garbage? Why can't I swear? What's wrong with it? Nothing, that's what! It feels good to swear.... or does it?
Swearing is considered by most to be a natural outlet for "blowing off steam", for "venting", and for some; to really drill that point home that they are trying to make. Swearing puts a solid emphasis on the message being delivered.
Yes, well, it also:
- Limits your vocabulary
- Makes you sound like a jerk
- Makes you sound like an idiot
- Makes you sound like someone with anger control issues
In short, nothing good ever really comes from busting out those cuss words. It's just a trained behavior by society. What makes those words "swears" anyway? They don't have any magical or special power. It doesn't make you sound cooler or more intelligent to say them. It only "feels" cool because from a very young age you were told they are "taboo" so by using these "naughty" words, you're still rebelling!
Why NOT swearing is the smart choice:
Most jobs frown upon employees who swear as part of their "regular" communication. You aren't going to get your mouth washed out with soap, but you probably aren't going to get promoted either.
Do it for the children! Kids watch what you do. If you tell them not to, but you do... guess what George? Your kid is going to swear, just like you. Because your kid loves you, respects you, and looks up to you. In that kid's eyes, everything you do is something they want to mimic and perfect so they can grow up to be just like you!
Do it because it's funner. Don't argue with me. Yes it is! Oh, you haven't even read the whole article yet so how do you know if it's true or not... alright, break. How about this; you finish reading and THEN we'll finish this debate, sound fair to you? Okay, good, lets move on.
Not Swearing: The Game/The Challenge:
When I was a preschool teacher, clearly swearing was NOT allowed at work. So what is a teacher supposed to do when they accidentally get their finger slammed in a drawer, or when a kid throws a toy and it hits them right in the knee... not swear, that's for sure!
So I developed this game with myself, to come up with as many different "replacement" words and phrases as possible. It enlarges your vocabulary, makes you think, and most of the time ~ it makes you laugh, which dissolves the anger and you feel better!
The more odd the statement, the better. This is an intentional way to break the habit of swearing plus break the emotional state your in which is causing you to want to swear. It's a win-win solution! Plus, any kids (be them your own or other people's kids) will hear you NOT swearing and want to follow in THOSE footsteps. Win-win-win!
If you go it alone, your friends are going to look at you like you have completely lost it. That's okay! The reaction they have to your new vocabulary and word usage can be just as stress relieving as the phrases themselves.
If you want to recruit some friends to do this with you, even better! Now you can compete to see who can come up with the best word and phrase substitutes!
Samples & Examples:
Let's start simple. Here are some common swear word substitutes you may have already heard (or used yourself)
- Gosh Darn it!
- Cheese and crackers
- Cheese and rice!
- Fish burgers!
- Son of a biscuit
- Holly Toledo
Now let's add some more:
- For the love of Christmas Gravy!
- Flibberty Gibbit!
- Sheep Biscuits
- Horse feathers
- Cow pie
- Mary had a little lamb!
So you're working on your truck engine, the wrench slips and BANG, you've whacked your hand really good. Perhaps the first thing that rushes to your mind is the "F" word. Stop!
"Ffffffff... fish and chips!" good save!
You're out walking your dog who decides to do his business in your crabby neighbor's yard. You may be tempted to use the "D" word/phrase. Stop!
"Ddddd Dingle Berry Pie!" well done.
Now, you're setting yourself up some breakfast when you accidentally knock the milk carton over and it spills all over the floor. You feel the "Sh" word coming on. Don't do it!
"Shhhh Shiver me timbers!" Wow, you're really getting good at this!
Replacing standard swear words with new words and phrases lightens your mood. You just feel better. Scream them if you have to, but those replacement words make a world of difference, trust me. You can't stay mad if you're too busy laughing at yourself to do so.
Since it is unexpected, when you're around other people they will be positively affected by it too. The entire mood surrounding the incident changes. Your mood changes. You might even find yourself thinking up new words or phrases to put in your substitute library for future use!
Alright, now go ahead and resume the previous argument which we agreed upon in the beginning, I'm listening: