Social Issues: The Age of Narcissism

Oh, so true about narcissism! It seems that our entire culture is infected with it. Thank you so much for delineating some of the causes of this affliction of the spirit and psyche. The typical narcissist is constantly posing the question repeatedly, "What about me? What about me?" You've written a lovely, insightful hub! Thanks again!

So insightful. I always enjoy reading your reflections. I have some harsh reactions to narcissistic behavior as well, but in the end I realize that we all engage in this behavior on some subconcious level. If we examine our own minds and hearts we can refrain from judgement and allow compassion and understanding to develop even if we choose to disengage.

This is an absolute must read for all parents. I too see many parents who are now having to deal with older children with emotional and social disorders related to permissive parenting. I do have hope in the future as I see an increased trend in sports to award only those that have won and earned a prize. You can't always win and must learn to deal with the loss. You can't always be first, the best, etc., but it's the experience and your attitude that makes the difference. Voted all the way up! Go get em, Bill!

Excellent! This is a much needed introspect in today's society. I think narcissm starts from spoiling children and not disciplining them. I think that our society is very, very flawed by constantly trying to build up the self esteem of children where they get the feeling of entitlement. Kids get awards for every single thing now a days and doesn't leave room for teaching them what they need to do to really achieve anything worthwhile. I think to many kids are not taught empathy for others and this leads to a generation of self centered people. My older kids had to do at least one good secret deed a day and I made them volunteer at animal shelters with me. Kids need to be taught to think about others because it doesn't happen automatically. This is excellent!

36 years as an ace defense attorney...........he can hold his own.......but I always win by technical knock-out!! teehee I just object and hold him in contempt!! I make Nancy Grace look like a nice lady!!

Awwww......Knock it off! That's all he needs is more pity!!!!! lmao.

I'm sorry...you're sorry.....the whole damned world is sorry......well, not really, BUT IT SHOULD BE!

Don't forget the 8% sales tax!

Does Bev patch them for you???!!! ROFLMAO!!!! I'm such a penny pincher..... I did that once with Jim's boxers. I thought he was going to die! He said, "Really, Paula?" "Can't we just drop $7.00 bucks at Wal*Mart??" lol......poor guy.

bill.....I didn't mean to repeat what you conveyed in your hub....I apologize if this offended you.......(as if I was stating something you did not know.) Not my intention at all, budddy. I just can't keep myself from adding my 2 cents in reinforcement. I'll try to stifle myself, like Archie tells Edith to do!!!!

Remember...I have fewer opportunities to BLAB yadda yadda yadda......I'm not a "hopper."

Oops! Hard to believe I can talk SO DAMNED MUCH, and still forget something, isn't it? LOL! but.....I love your exchange with Pete!! really LOVE it..........I value and protect what little privacy we all still have.....I ain't giving it up online! But, let's make this clear.....just the other day I was wondering if you bought new BVD's lately!!! LMAO

bill....now you've got me worried.....please don't tell me what the OPPOSITE is. Like for someone who has few pics of her-him/self because they don't even want their picture taken.........no memberships to social media sites......and pretty much lives a "home-body" / loner type existence?

It's OK....no problem. You don't need to answer this. Behavioral Science is my bag, remember?

I love your hub and agree per usual).....however, if you'll allow, I need to stress the accuracy and importance of Docmo's valid statement.

There truly is a high degree of what is "perceived" as narcissism in someone...who, in reality ,is making desperate attempts to be "noticed" and appreciated for possibly the first time in their life.

Much of this self-inflation, bill, is a result of having been under-valued, brow beaten and often neglected by parents.....or of continually having unrealistic demands placed upon them, solely to set them up for failure. Believe it or not, parents WILL do this, as cruel as it is.

I fully appreciate what you are conveying in this masterfully written hub....and simply felt it is important to recognize those "narcissists," who are in reality, self-soothers......Thanks bill....you are a SUPER-PAL...

Great hub Bill. I believe a bit of narcissism ( love of self) to the point of belief in self worth is in order. Beyond that and I'm out of bounds for those who can't see beyond themselves. You last paragraph sums it beautifully. Each one of us has the option where to draw the line.

Fine writing. Voted up and beautiful.

This is an excellent topic, Bill.

I see this kind of people everywhere and I am pretty sure they are unaware of their blabbering about I, myself and me.

I have been taught by my parents to let others do the talking about YOU and that is the best reward or apprecation about oneself.

interesting hub with good details..voted up and sharing it across

my narcissism stemmed from people telling me I'm great paired with the things I did. It started to negatively effect my fund raising. I turned to serving coffee and cleaning tables at large gatherings. Then people said, "look how humble he is!" I couldn't win.

Great hub on a topic I could rant about for a long, long time. For now, I'll just say I agree with Peanutritious 100%.

Your welcome billy. I came across a Facebook profile once with over 3000 pictures, not kidding. I wonder how people find time to download all of those pics.

all of us are attention starved to some extent or the other Bill.All of us writers, artists, theater people , just the all of us who pander our version of reality as being superior to that of others are narcissists too.

i agree totally with what you have said and think the desire to take the pressure of the children is producing a generation weaklings who collapse the moment they come across the real world but then cannot help thinking that every single one of us who commented on the hub is part of the same fraternity of narcissists who believe they are superior to others .

a bit against the stream friend and playing the devils advocate but the idea is to stir thought. trust you will understand.

You are not alone in being thoroughly turned off by what the internet feeds off of...self-promotion. I cannot tell you how many times my first impression of someone I meet is "egomaniac". I always thank my lucky stars I can walk...no, run away. I think some of the celebrities that are disliked exhibit the selfish traits inherent with the personality disorder of narcissism. I can't help but associate all things Kardasian with ego-centric. The problem is that little deters narcissism, because they are so impressed with themselves, they don't notice or care that their selfishness is turning everyone off. Narcissists believe that everyone else is jealous of their fabricated, superior, other-worldly attributes. Some of the job interviews I've gone to tell me they are looking for take-charge, aggressive, super producers from the starting gate. I just can't fake it, Bill. I go in upbeat and positive, but am not about "taking over" or self-promoting. Smart, hardworking, ability to work independently, reliable and giving 100% to any job I take on, are not enough. For minimum wage, employers want a Kardasian sitting at the reception desk. Dream on!

Great article, Bill. I had to laugh at your synopsis of the "awards" ceremony...breathing and showing up...I think there's an app for that!

This is a very good article. You have made very good points here. Voted up.

Great discourse on narcissism, Sir Bill. The psychology you describe is part of the issue. There is a generational difference in how we define narcissism and there is further psychological interplay - its not only the 'spoilt' kids ( I am not sure how we define spoilt) but also the attention starved and the introverted who come alive in the relatively less threatening online environment. Constant praise or relentless criticism may both lead to this need...

another great hub Bill and I so agree with you.. It is a shame that we think we have to praise everyone.. sometimes we need constructive criticism too. otherwise especially me will get a big head.. Lol.. thanks again for sharing

and I am sharing

Debbie

"The other people that I thought about are the ones that constantly talk about themselves."- I often talk about myself, even my last posted piece of writing was about hunting my own faults. I think talking about myself is something I picked-up from Michel de Montaigne (French philosopher). He stated that he knew himself best and he was himself the object of his examination. I think that works good, in my opinion anyway because I do not talk about myself out of selfishness, I do it as Montaigne did - as a means of studying human behaviour. And who's behaviour I know best? My own.

"The problems arise when all the child hears is how great they are, that they are the prettiest, the smartest, the greatest, and on and on, until the child begins to believe it." - I am of the opinion that this trait is more common in the western world. Having grown up under the Iron Curtain of the Soviet Union, my childhood was totally different than most people in the west can even imagine. Comforts were few, praises were few, opportunities were few, etc.

"How can I appear to be better than I am? How can I convince others that I really am fantastic? How can I gain self-esteem through the praise of others?" - Popular culture drills kids on this mode of thinking nowadays. Advertising comes to mind - products are packaged to sell not packaged to explain what they are. Resumes (which is a form of personal advertising) are often full of superlatives and a whole bunch of lies - I know because as a writer I have been asked many times to beautify resumes ... blahh (that's how I feel about it lol).

"What is there about today’s society, and in particular in the western world, that leads to so much narcissism?" - Vanity, lack of purpose and honesty ... I think those are valid reasons, or partial reasons ...

"Then, too, I have seen an unhealthy increase in permissive parents, and quite frankly this began during my generation, with the Baby Boomers" - Yes, it is all your fault. Haha!! Just kidding. Don't be so harsh on yourself - I can do that, since I am not from your generation. Then You can blaime me back and say that it's actually all the fault of your kids (me). LOL

"In effect, some awards amounted to no more than an award for breathing and showing up. " - Yes, that is correct. Educations is a big joke but that is how the System is build: keep people stupid and entertained. Like the Roman Empire did: it gave people the Gladiator games (entertainment) and a piece of bread (food) when they showed up to the arenas. Thus, the Roman establishment thought it could keep the people's minds away from the rottenness of their circumstances. It worked for a while and it's working for a while now too.

"Heck, I would even be willing to buy them a blow-up doll so they have someone to talk to." - Start doing that and You'll go broke pretty quick - there are tons of people looking for blow-up dolls (for many different reasons LOL).

"I honestly have friends on Facebook and I don’t know who they are or where they came from; a friend of a friend or whatever." - Why are they on your list then? Haha ... it always amazes me when people say things like this about facebook - if You don't know the person, why add them? I have a whole eighty-three people on my Facebook list and I know them all. Not only do I know them but if I know them and we don;t chat or share anything on that platform (Facebook), they get deleted. No hard feelings. : )

"If others feel the need to dazzle the world with their brilliance, beauty or talent, they can do so without my participation." - I agree but this is how societies have been set-up. We being part of these societies, in my opinion are somewhat responsible and sticking our heads in the sand will do nothing. Hence, I thank You for writing this article.

Fun read. Cheers!

I need to think of a term for my daily "billybuc" reads. It's becoming my schedule - I think - to catch them later in the day after you've published them. I think I might have missed a few along the way - sorry about that. I strive to be a cheerleader. :)

In any case, I think you're right. Narcissism seems rampant these days. You always seem to hear in the media, "It's all about you" or "Treat yourself" or "You deserve it". Then we have the iPad, iPhone, iTouch, iPod, and more i-products that seem to reminds us about the everlasting "I". I was raised by my grandparents and they had an "old-school" style of discipline and parenting. While not perfect, I feel like they did me a huge favor. There were moments I'd get mad that they didn't understand, but somehow I knew that if they raised six other kids, then perhaps they might have an idea of what they were doing. In any case, fabulous hub - as always - and thought-provoking. :)

I'm so glad you pointed out the way recognizing people (anyone - students, adults, employees, you name it) for basically breathing has diluted recognition for true accomplishment. Your excellent career in the classroom certainly shows in these types of observations you make. Well done!

Billy..exactly why I don't facebook and twitter! Look at little girls as young as 2 yrs. old getting their hair bleached and sprayed with self tanner to look stunning in the baby competitions. The crazy reality tv shows like the Kardashians. Girls in their 20's already getting botox and other kinds of plastic surgery to be the best looking. The fact is, no matter how good you are; someone will come along who is better, no matter how smart you are; someone will come along who is smarter; and the list goes on. It is hard in today's world to find a comfortable niche for our own identity and ability to be comfortable with who we are with remaining awake to the fact that all the other people sharing our space are just as important. A loyal reader!

Fantastic Hub Billy. Another interesting topic and view.

A very interesting hub and I do think the media has a lot to do with it. We are constantly bombarded with photo's of glamorous celebrities and told in great detail about what they get up. I think many people are trying to copy this on Facebook. I don't have much time for people who always start the conversation with I.

This is so true Bill, I have seen such an increase of this phenomena in my lifetime. The permissiveness issue with parents, the lack of discipline all contribute to this huge problem.

You hit the nail on the head Bill. You must check out another Hub written today by sethughes on being a gentleman, a forgotten concept in the age of self - http://sethughes.hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Be-a-Gent... I recall that Augustine said that Original Sin began with pride.

My own theory own this (uh-oh, I am talking about me from the start in this comment) is reality TV is partially to blame. The Real World started airing about 20 years ago and many reality shows started because of it. Every little move people made in these shows were highlighted - eating pasta, going to the grocery store, taking a nap, etc. An entire generation grew up watching these shows and now everyone thinks every tiny detail of their lives can be exciting. It doesn't help that Twitter and Facebook promote this, too. People post the most ridiculous, mundane details of their lives online. I really don't care if the girl that sat next to me in my 5th grade science class just bought the last chocolate donut at Dunkin Donuts. Shesh!

Great hub and voted up! :-)

Wow. Topic close to my heart. To me, narcissism is a sign of insecurity. You don't have to be perfect at everything or look better than the next person all the time - what matters is that you try your best and are true to yourself. Love this!

Another great one Bill! I think if we were able to get over our collective fear of being offensive, and our need to be all-inclusive in the warm and fuzzy club, we might be able to reduce our narcissistic output. Sort of like reducing our carbon footprint. But enough about me...

Bill, an interesting look at one of society's more unpleasant aspects. I think living a life online lends itself very well to narcissism where it's possible to have 'your own' page, 'your own' email address, 'your own' Tumblr account - and the free space to live it large is there for all of us. My daughter's generation communicate through Twitter, Facebook, My Space, Tumblr etc - and they have to 'invent' themselves online to do this - unfortunately, it all lends itself well to narcissism.

Billy, I believe there is no harm in appreciating oneself. But being obsessed about own image is perhaps psychological disorder.

Thanks for this comprehensive study on human behavior.

You not only give voice to our thoughts but also help that voice reach us, by being so lucid about what you want to say, Sir.

Bill you have touched so many people with this! You said it like it is. Narcissism won't stop because we as humans learn from what we see and feel. The love for Ourselves and our egos have gotten out of hand. Great topic for the day Billy. Just telling you: Some people might've been offended by this article. But we are by your side.

Bill,

I was going to make a funny comment, but I think TT all ready took care of that! Lol. Another great hub my friend! This is a dangerous habit and only getting worse. I totally agree with what you said regarding Facebook. You hit this head on for sure, awesome job!

One thing to comment on, and that is your sharing of links, you know you can hide the URL's. right?

Have a great day and take care!

I spent a lot if time last year reading about narcissism to help me understand more about a friend of mine who is highly narcissistic. What I learned was to set better boundaries with this person and above all else accept them as they are. We all have a little narcissism in us from time to time but I agree with what you said about choosing what we focus on self promotion, which soon fades away or making the world better by loving and accepting others as they are. Awesome hub Bill! Kelley

I'm simply running out of adjectives to praise this hub. Can I just say 'Astutely Awesome'? Would that do?

My parents thankfully never instilled this belief in me, though it had all to do with me only as I wasn't brilliant at anything. But I've seen and dealt with such 'poor' pampered souls. God bless them.

Another great piece of work by you, Sir.

lol Billy, I meant that I am a bit narcisstic on FB.

I control a lot from updating status or uploading the snaps regularly.

Your observation about increase in narcissism today is so true.One close associate of mine was all about I,Me and Myself that one day I couldn't bear it any longer and we had a spat over her attitude but I wonder whether they actually change.Shared !

Great hub billybuc, and if it's not the pictures it's the status updates, going to the gym, cleaning the house, petting the dog....nobody cares! Anyway, great points about parenting providing the environment for narcissism to start early! Voted up!

:-) Phalic narcissism it is.

I agree to whatever u say... And being from this generation, I feel quite narcisstic. But I do not overdo it. I control it.

Very insightful analysis...Great writing...

-Your fan,

Pooja :-)

Dang, and I was just going to text, message, email and post about how much everyone worships the ground I walk upon and I can't find you anywhere. I guess I'll just take another picture of myself molesting the telephone pole in my ghastly stance and post it on facebook to get your attention! :) *golf clap* :) VUMS!

What an excellent hub topic. I hate the narcissism in today's society and the lily livered approaches to make all kids feel included. I remember working with particularly challenging pupils who would refuse to work if their worksheets were not printed on a particular colour of paper. Other members of staff would copy the sheets for them whereas I would argue that this was pandering to them and not showing them what the real world is like.

Children seem to think that the world owes them a living and they will get a hell of a shock when they experience the reality! The ultimate aim for them is to be famous through doing nothing of merit bar looking a certain way or appearing on a reality tv show. It really is tragic.

I wish this blasted mental illness didn't exist. Narcissism is so destructive. Thanks Billy for writing about this....

looking back, i was never spoiled and never given excessive praise.. at first, i thought i was a mistake..i was unloved.. however, i've read books about discipline, the pitfalls of praise, spoiling a child which has negative effects later on.guess, my family is right..i never set unrealistic goals, i just do what i can do..the best of it.

"the only person I should have control over is myself" and is very true.