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Acceptance In Life: A Lifestyle Choices Series

Updated on August 12, 2012
Acceptance brings peace of mind
Acceptance brings peace of mind | Source
Tranquility comes from humility
Tranquility comes from humility | Source
Will ego control your life or will humility?
Will ego control your life or will humility? | Source

“God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

The Serenity Prayer

How many times have I said that prayer in the past twenty years? Tens of thousands for sure! One would think that acceptance would come naturally for me after repeating that prayer so many times and yet it does not. I will still catch myself, at times, trying to control a situation that cannot be controlled, and all too often the wisdom needed to tell the difference is nowhere to be found. Those are the times when my trusted loved ones will step in and simply tell me to knock it off and get on with life.

The fact is that none of us are in total control of our lives no matter how badly we want to be. Each day brings new challenges; each day brings new opportunities to learn very important lessons. In all honesty I don’t want to be in control of all matters; I have a track record of occasionally making some rather bizarre decisions that have adverse effects, so at least I have found the wisdom to realize that things are better off if I’m not in charge all the time.

It is my belief that the world would be a much better place to live in if acceptance were utilized more often. So what’s the problem? If we can all agree that a little bit more acceptance would be a good thing, what in the name of all that is holy is keeping us from living that belief?

Ego! Three little letters; add them all together and you have trouble in River City.

EGO VS HUMILITY; THE ETERNAL STRUGGLE

During my sick years, back prior to my hard-earned sobriety, I was ego-driven! All the world was a play and I was the director of that play. Or so I thought! My thoughts went something like this: if you would only learn to act the way I want you to act, things would be much better. Or….if life would just correspond to my view of life, we would all be happier. Can you say insanity? Can you say egomaniac?

The more things did not work out the way I planned, the harder I worked to mold them into my vision of Utopia. Imagine if you will a person living his life trying to control everything around him. The natural products of this insanity, of course, are anger and frustration, and the only thing that could give me any comfort from this insanity was alcohol. So I drank….and drank some more….and more….because naturally there was no way for my ego to achieve that which it thought was necessary.

With sobriety I learned humility. I am not the director of life; I can only try my best to direct my own life. I gave up trying to instruct people on how to live and how to act, and amazingly, when I did that, I found serenity in my life.

An old saying has been floating around for years; it was on the desk of Dr. Bob, the co-founder of AA. The first sentence of that saying is: “Humility is perpetual quietness of heart.” Isn’t that a beautiful thought, to have a perpetually quiet heart, free of fear, free of anxiety, free of worry and stress? I may not be at the “perpetual” stage yet but I’m getting closer and that has made all the difference in my life.

IMAGINE IF YOU WILL

What would it be like if others did not try to force their opinions on people, but instead respected opposing viewpoints without anger? Is it possible to have an exchange of ideas regarding politics or religion without a shouting match? Is it possible to simply accept the ideas and beliefs of others rather than feel the need to change them to our own liking?

What would it be like to live that way, to live a life free of fear? Free of angst? Free of being threatened by viewpoints we do not understand?

What would it be like to focus on similarities rather than differences?

Where does this need to be in control come from?

WHERE INDEED?

The need to control will always be fear-based. The need to establish dominance will always be fear-based. The need to shout down and ridicule will always be fear based. Why? Simply because we always fear that which we do not undertand. Our fear-based egos will not allow for acceptance; to do so is to show weakness.

The need for control is not hardwired into our DNA. It is a learned behavior and as such it can be un-learned. The question then arises: are we willing to relinquish our hold on ego and turn to humility for the answer? That, my friends, is a tough nut to crack.

SO WHAT IS HUMILITY?

Our old friend Webster tells us that humility is the quality of being modest and respectful. With that definition in mind, how many people do you know who practice humility?

Perhaps now would be a good time to finish that quote that was on Dr Bob’s desk.

Humility is:


Perpetual quietness of heart.
It is to have no trouble.
It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore;
to wonder at nothing that is done to me,
to feel nothing done against me.
It is to be at rest when nobody praises me,
and when I am blamed or despised,
to have a blessed home in myself
where I can go in and shut the door
and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace,
as in a deep sea of calmness,
when all around and about is seeming trouble.

Beautiful words, don’t you think? A place of that resembles a deep sea of calmness inside of ourselves. Wow! Can you even imagine what that must be like? Do you want to imagine it?

MY GOAL

My goal, then, is to achieve humility. I am not the director of this play called life. I am, at most, a bit player, one of seven billion on this planet. Seven billion bit players, not one more important than any other, each allowed to live their life unfettered by the demands of others. Is it even possible?

I remember a line from a poem I read once in college. I do not remember the poet’s name, nor do I remember the name of the poem. The line resonated with me forty-five years ago and it still does today.

“What more could please the soul than to walk free and know no superior?”

What more indeed! I have not found perpetual quietness of heart, but I have found an increasing number of those moments when I am at peace. That is a gift I will forever be grateful for.

Acceptance was the key for this man. The day, six years ago, when I gave up the fight was the day I stepped onto a new path, one that is leading me to serenity. I relinquished my role as director and accepted my new role as supporting actor, and I am so much happier because of it.

The opposite of ego is humility. The path of humility leads to acceptance and on to serenity. It is a path worth following. Walk along with me; you just might enjoy the journey.

I wish for all of you serenity, happiness, love and acceptance.

2012 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

For more articles in the Lifestyle Choices series, see the following:

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/Leaving-The-Rat-Race-Behind

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/Lifestyle-Choices-Life-Is-Fair

If you would like to buy my Lifestyle Choices book on Kindle go to:

http://www.amazon.com/Lifestyle-Choices-ebook/dp/B007ZV9G2U/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1336064586&sr=1-3

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    • Lisawilliamsj profile image

      Lisa Williams 4 years ago

      This is absolutly beautiful.. I would love to walk this path. It's funny I can tell myself over and over again to relinguish control, and my anxiety will stop. Unfortunatly, the words are so much easier than the actions! I voted up, awesome,beautiful, and interesting!

    • rfmoran profile image

      Russ Moran 4 years ago from Long Island, New York

      Beautiful hub Bill. We all spend vast amounts of time and energy trying to control life. In the words of the late Bishop Fulton J. Sheen: "Each of us makes his own weather, determines the color of the skies in the emotional universe which he inhabits." Fulton J. Sheen

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Hello my friend,

      Yours is the first hub I read of the day and a better start couldn't be found. I struggle constantly with a loud heart. However, not quite as much as when it was a younger heart; the skin around it has grown a bit thicker.

      You are an inspiration to me. When I read some of your articles I not only walk away with a healthier perspective, I realize others struggle with the same issues I do.

      I will continue to search for my perpetual quietness of heart.

      Thank you for this written gift.

      Just wonderful.

      Sincerely - ME Blessings and hugs to you and yours.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lisa, this is one of the biggest struggles any human being faces. We all want control; to not have control is frightening and goes against our nature. I really do understand! Thank you for your kind words; you are a very loyal follower and I appreciate you.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      rfmoran, i remember well Bishop Sheen; watched him on television in the old days. Thank you for sharing that quote and for visiting me once again.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Becki, it is a struggle we all go through. It is frightening to think we are not in control, so much so that we will do practically anything to attempt to control as much as possible. Of course, it is a fool's game and can't be won.

      I, too, greatly appreciate you. I love your spirit, your humor, your gentleness and your humanness. Let's be friends for a long time to come.

      bill

    • profile image

      Vincent Moore 4 years ago

      There was a time Bill that I was a major player in the business world, the high price I paid for my egocentricity was huge. I placed to much emphasis on "Self" and not others. I wanted to be at the Top of my game and had to mix with those types of players in order to reach the golden ring.

      I crashed and burned back in 1998 and found a new awakening. It was meant to be, hit the wall, quit your lucrative career and go on a journey of discovery. I did just that, leaving the expensive refinements of life. Expensive stuff, clothes and cars and the CIRCLE of ego's like myself.

      I got my Class1 license and became an over the road highway driver for almost 10 years. A total complete lifestyle change, but Oh what therapy it brought this cowboy. I have no regrets as I look back now on that radical switch. It humbled me tremendously. I now am semi-retired and enjoy life to the fullest, alone yes, but much needed. I function better with people without living under the same roof with them. I proved this to myself just recently.

      I look forward to more challenges ahead, but with perpetual quietness in my heart I am grateful for my attitude of gratitude I've found. Peace and blessings to you sir. Great Hub, you really hit home with this one. Voted UP to the TOP.

    • picadilly profile image

      Priscill Anne Alvik 4 years ago from Schaumburg, IL

      I love this submission! It addresses the life style I live.

      There is a saying, "That people make plans and God sits up in heaven listening and laughing at all our plans"!

      Your growth and wisdom shines through your words. To feed one's ego with external power has no purpose in this time except to feed one's ego...it dead ends your journey. To feed the soul another story...eternal bliss that travels with you through the infinite space of time...you are doing so well!

      xo me

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image

      Ashok Rajagopalan 4 years ago from Chennai

      Thank you Billy. Wisdom is always beautiful and your hub is that.

      I gave up control about 8 years ago, and decided to sleep in the backseat of my Father's car. I realized that He knows where to go and the best route too. My prayers are mostly about saying thanks, these days. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kenny, I love that phrase and I love your attitude. I'm just along for the ride, like you my friend. Blessings and peace to you...and thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Picadilly, I would love to say that I learned quickly, but I did not. It took a lot of pain to reach this point...but reach it I did. Thank you fellow traveler; I look forward to the remainder of the journey.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vincent...I am laughing...not at your words but at your becoming a highway driver. I have often looked back and thought I would love to have done that for a living. I adore driving the open road, the time one has to reflect on life while driving. In fact that is when most of my serious reflection happens, when I am driving alone.

      Anyway...the crash and burn. For me it was in 2006, wallowing in my own muck and mire and no exit sign in sight. I finally clawed open the door, sold everything, and began a life of discovery and cleansing...and I have never looked back.

      Peace to you my new friend! It is going to be a wonderful day!

    • poojasd7 profile image

      poojasd7 4 years ago from India

      :-)

      I understand the value of humility and acceptance. This attitude really has long term effects on one's life.

      But one need to draw the lines when things get out of control like- people take you for granted or think of you as a meek person. Then, you need to deal with such situations by the right answers which may not ooze humility and acceptance of the things the way they are!

      Great hub! Voted up!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pooja, I agree with you completely...but those things we can control. We should never allow someone to take advantage of us. We owe it to ourselves to stand up for ourselves...always.

      Thank you my young friend; have a peaceful evening.

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York

      billybuc: Voted Up, Useful and Beautiful. I watched the whole video, so great to feel like you were talking directly to me!

      You are so right when you wrote, "I am not the director of life...I can only direct my own life...give up trying to instruct people...yes, it IS the key to serenity.

      I'll never forget my hounding my sister all the time to do this, do that, not do this, don't do that at a time she was on a downward spiral. She finally screamed at me, "Stop trying to fix me!"

      I did. Now I just listen. The result has been so much more inner peace!

      This is a great and beneficial hub, from your heart. Blessings, Sparklea :)

      PS: You have left North Dakota in your book and are now flying to Arizona. You are a riot with your hilarious opinions about North Dakota!

      I always wanted to visit North Dakota, but now I'm a little skeptical!!! :)

      love the whistling ladybug! :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lea, it is so nice to see you visit. I have been concerned about you. I hope this finds you happy and at peace. I always love to hear from you and I'm so happy you are enjoying the book. I had fun writing it; it gave me a chance to be silly and yet deliver a message I am passionate about....love and the environment.

      Thank you my dear friend.

      bill

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York

      Hi billybuc, June was SO hectic, and July is building up steam, alot of appointments and I have not been home alot, so I am VERY behind with HubPages. I need a big block of time to sort out and catch up.

      I have two Hubs I am working on in between all this. But I'm anxious to get back to commenting, as it keeps me in touch with everyone.

      I feel bad I've been so elusive, but the key is to be home to do it!

      Blessings, Sparklea :) THANKS AGAIN for this great hub! You are a treasure :)

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      ahhh peace and quiet of the mind....calmness of the heart and awareness of the spirit.....sounds like near perfection. Certainly something to lean toward and pass on, as we meander through this one and only life we have.

      Simplicity never fails to yield us far more than the insane struggle for abundance....why is this? because when we focus on our nature and live in harmony with others, we become blind to differences, mute to the rumblings of the ego......and learn to see and hear with our heart, nuture our spirit and ......understand. Ignorance vanishes and with it, so goes fear............................UP ++

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Beautiful hub, my friend! Your words are so true. In addition to accepting that which we cannot change, we need to have the strength and willingness to make the best of any given situation and turn a negative into a positive. I try to live this way. I prefer to let things I can't control roll off my back. As I watch the negativity plummet and disintegrate, my mind is churning away at an alternative. As the result, everything works out. I get through it all and usually as a better person!

      Thanx for the reminder, my friend. We all need it from time to time.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lea, I understand completely! Thankfully all I have to do is write so time isn't a problem for me. I am very lucky! Thank you again!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, I don't know what to do with your comment. It is so sincere...no humor! What oh what am I to do? Well, I guess I can respond in kind...your words are true. For me only through simplicity can I find peace of mind. I needed to scrub my life down to the bare essentials before I could find my way out of a self-constructed maze of b.s. Life is much simpler now and I think I'll keep it that way.

      Thanks my friend; stay cool and enjoy that beautiful home and property that you have.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, it is my pleasure to write these things; I meet so many kindred spirits through my writing. We all seek a simpler life, free of worry and angst...at least I would hope we all do. Thank you dear lady; wishing you peace and happiness today and all days.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      well, shucks, cuzin billibuc......ma Daddy teached me when we was a-livin in the holler down thar in Kantucky......thar's a time to laff and a time to stop the dern laffin and git seerass. I knowed this, just as surz I knowed you and me, we'd still be cuzins even after the DEE-vorce.

      billi....ya'all bin a-smokin that thar whacky weed agin??

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Being a nice Catholic girl, of course I know the serenity prayer and your use of it in this article is truly amazing and exceptional. Hell, with 2 small kids I need all the serenity and prayers I can get. But seriously, amazing article as usual with tons of invaluable information. Sharing and voting up of course!

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Billy your hubs are among the top best well written amazing hubs....i love how you write from your heart...and your honesty....and your life advice..you are so wise....life made you that way....blessings...debbie

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 4 years ago

      Humility es crucial to stay in here. The avalanche of denial will catch up with anyone with ater ego. Thanks Bill! For the reminder.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      That's the Paula I know. LMAO...thanks!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Janine, when I was raising my son as a single parent I would say the serenity prayer countless times during the day. :) Thank you my friend; wishing you a great day!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Debbie, I don't know what to say when I receive praise like that...a simple thank you seems so hollow. Well...your book is in the mail and you should receive it soon.

      Blessings, peace and love

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lord, I couldn't agree more. So easy to say, so hard to do. :) Thank you my friend.

    • josh3418 profile image

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Bill this was incredible! I enjoy your ability to be funny sometimes and serious other times. :) The whole time I was reading I couldn't help thinking back to that hub I published on humility like the first day I was on HubPages. I remember your comment word for word, and EGO VS HUMILITY; THE ETERNAL STRUGGLE was in the comment. I can tell you have a passion for humility and I deeply admire it. in my opinion, humility is one of those virtues that is hard to come by and many people never fully understand the meaning behind it. Thanks for this hub on acceptance Bill! Votes per usual buddy! :)

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Beautiful message, big Bro. :) I try to live life by this philosophy. Wish more people understood it and dropped the ego. If only we lived in a perfect world...but then I would be bored and have nothing to write about and poke fun at. :) VUMS.

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      In my life, Bill, since I cannot speak from anywhere else, those situations that have driven me to the brink, are the same ones I will always be frustrated and angered by...the ones that are not mine to change. I try to remain strong in changing my own ways; those that render me my own worst enemy, and remain non-intrusive in other's lives. This, however, does not seem enough for controllers. I can no longer tolerate someone else's insistence where I am concerned. I am entitled to make my own choices and as long as I am not inflicting my beliefs on someone else, I expect the same. It seems, from my experience, that most people have an agenda. It is very disheartening to trust someone to accept me as I am, and find that their expectations cannot be satisfied by the reality of the fact that I am only human. I have gotten over trying to please everyone. Sometimes, with acceptance it is necessary to walk away.

      I found your article to be very relevant to me and where I am now. You said it extremely well, straightforward and honestly. Narcissism creates turbulence creates stress that shortens our lives. I don't have the time nor inclination to play games. "Life is not a dress rehearsal" is stark reality worth remembering. Thank you, Bill.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Josh, thank you! Acceptance is crucial for my livelihood and happiness. As for my writing style, you will find that your voice will develop over time and it will be distinctly yours.

      You are a good man, Josh, and I look forward to watching you grow in your writing craft.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      TT....LOL...it would be boring, wouldn't it? What would we do with our sarcasm if there was nothing to be sarcastic about? We might implode!

      Thanks Sis! Glad you got a chance to sleep in.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Amy, I gave up playing games a long time ago. Number one, I'm no good at it. Number two, it is exhausting. Number three, I just gravitate towards people who are not afraid to show their warts and who are willing to take the chance and be real. You are one of those people!

      Thank you my friend!

      bill

    • Michele Travis profile image

      Michele Travis 4 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

      Billy this is another wonderful hub. Acceptance is needed very much. Without it, where can one go? Well, nowhere. But, once you accept it, it sort of feels like a huge rock has been lifted off your shoulders. If you don't accept it, well you might just keep falling.

      Voted up.

    • Ann1Az2 profile image

      Ann1Az2 4 years ago from Orange, Texas

      A well thought-out hub, billybuc. Humility is a worthwhile goal for us all and it is tough to achieve. I just disagree with you on one thing. I believe we are all born selfish, which is a form of pride. A baby is all about me - feed me, clothe me, take care of me. If that pride is nurtured by the parents, and the child is not taught humility, they have a real problem on their hands.

      Otherwise, I enjoyed your hub very much and voted it up.

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      I think it was Budah that answered the question, "I want happieness but I don't know how to get it."

      Budah said, First remove the "I", that is your ego. Now you have Want happniess. Next remove the "want." That is desire, Now all you have is happiness.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michele, that is a great description. Once I let go it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of me.

      Thank you my friend; I greatly appreciate your input.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ann, that is an interesting perspective, one I had not thought of. Thanks for the input and I actually agree now that you pointed that out.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Very nice Mark! I had not heard that before but you can bet I'll be using it in the future! Thanks buddy; great input!

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      Mike Pugh 4 years ago from New York City

      Why would anyone ever want change you Bill, your a fabulous human being, all I want to do is change one factor in this world and that is the existence of hatred.

      Lets hope god grants such a prayer and wish in our day and time, and if that is to come I think many of the others issues will simply dissolve that people tend to have in their daily lives, us human shave very little control is any when it comes to most things.

      Self control though is definitely something we all need to remain focused on having, and as you said let us not worry so much about focusing emphasis on expecting other to change because we want them to.

      Great hub, its theme is honorable, and the heart felt helpful advice here is priceless Bill, great job!

      Voted up and all the good amenities that go with it.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Eliminate hatred! Now there is a noble goal, Mike, and one well-worth striving for my friend! Have we gained on that goal in my lifetime? I tend to believe that we have. I have seen a great deal of hatred in my sixty-three years and my general knee-jerk reaction is that there is less hatred now...but I have no way of knowing if that is correct.

      All we can do it take it one person at a time; educate and make people aware and hope that major change finally occurs.

      Thank you for a great comment. I respect you greatly and look forward to many years of friendship with you.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      If we can accept each day as something we cannot change and make the best of it, the rest will come. In spite of all your joking you are a humble man Bill and that's why we all know and love you!

      Your thoughts in this hub are creeds to live by. My mother always told me, "there is no one better than you, but remember, you are no better than anyone else."

      Voted your hub up, useful, awesome and interesting.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mary, your mother was a wise person! Thank you my friend; I try to be humble but like most people, it can be a struggle at times. :) I really appreciate you, Mary, not only here but on Facebook. You always bring a smile to my face.

    • John Sarkis profile image

      John Sarkis 4 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Excellent hub billy! You're so right about much of what you've said. People always seem to think that just being nice is the answer to the world's problems; I always say that being respectful towards one another is the true answer to the world's problems. People can look nice on the surface and still take advantage of you. Nonetheless, respect is a totally different ball game.

      Take care and thanks again for your wisdom

      John

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you John! I agree with your comment completely! I need to go visit you as I think you have fallen between the cracks. Some notifications aren't coming through for me. I'll be by to visit shortly.

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      You hit the nail on the head with this hub Billybuc. Humility is filled with grace and acceptance, for it knows we never were in control and never will be, and that is just fine. Love that you know this truth and chose to write about it.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Pickles; it is a truth that was hard for me to learn. Thank goodness there is no time limit on our learning process. :)

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      kelleyward 4 years ago

      Billybuc, I listen to Steve arterburn on New Life Live daily, it's a call in radio station for those trying to deal with life's problems. This morning he said to an addict who called in that until he surrendered in humility he would return to his addiction. After reading what you said here about surrendering and humility I believe this may be the most important step toward healing and acceptance of what is. Voted up and awesome as always, Kelley

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kelley, this is drilled into our heads at treatment centers and AA...without humility we will continue to have problems in life. Thanks for sharing that in your comment; the radio guy is right on!

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      good luck with your goal.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mhatter, it's easier to make it a daily goal...that way I can rack up a win at least once a week. :)

    • B Lucy profile image

      B Lucy 4 years ago from Podunk, Virginia

      I recently started letting go . . truly letting go. There is a lot less anger, stress. Less worry over what others think and consequences I may face such as disapproval. Your words reached right to the core of the matter. Thank you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      B Lucy, it is a very difficult thing to do; it took me decades to finally reach this point. Best of luck to you; I know you will love it when you reach the point of freedom. Thank you!

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      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. We are all players with given roles in this life I do believe that God is the director with angels for assistants. You made me think about life choices - I believe mine was made by fate. As much as I miss the states hoping to get a chance to get back one day I realized had not fate stepped in, had I not wanted to get away from a marriage which didn't work out and had mom not wanted to go back to Riga I would have never met my soulmate and I would not have found happiness in love. Thanks for this wonderful and inspirational hub. Passing this on.

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      Crazzy Kylex © 2012 4 years ago from Incredible India!

      Don't know whether is this a great advice for a 19 year old ambitious boy who wants to achieve fame in his life or should I read this after 27, when I've a completely settled career. Sir, you say the opposite of ego is humility. And one cannot have a strong will power sacrificing ego, which is what needed to achieve your goal, to achieve victory.

    • Trinity M profile image

      Trinity M 4 years ago

      Beautiful and poignant hub. I have realised (a little late in my life) that everything I am striving for can be summed up in one very small word – PEACE. I try to live each day with complete peace in my soul, no matter what chaos goes on around me. I have discovered that I can only live in peace if I live in the present moment and only concentrate on taking one step at a time. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

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      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 4 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      I found this hub this morning and after reading I have receive from it a great deep feeling of serenity. Thanks for sharing these words which I know they will crawl into everybody soul. I have a hub that I will link this one to it...if you do not mind. https://hubpages.com/health/AcceptanceIs-Not-A-Cho...

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Gypsy, and I'm a big believer in fate as well. You know the old joke...if you want to make God laugh...tell him your plans! :) Thank you my friend.

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      crazzykylex...your theory only has one hole in it....of course one can have strong will power without ego...there is no reason why one could not...one can be strong of will and still not think they are the most important person.

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Trinity, that is just one of the reasons why I like you as much as I do, and why I follow you. You are discovering the truths in life and living accordingly. That is admirable and that is a sound reason for me to call you a friend.

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lastheart, thank you; I will take a look at your hub and then link it to mine.

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      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      All your hubs and videos are outstanding, but this is my favorite. You have done a great job here on summing life priorities and importance in this post. I have prayed the serenity prayer throughout my life as well, it's a humble request that makes a WORLD of difference. Voted way up!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dianna, I live and breathe the serenity prayer. I can't imagine my life without it....oh, wait a minute, of course I can imagine life without it...I would be drunk. :) Thank you dear friend.

    • Midlife Magic profile image

      Midlife Magic 4 years ago from Canada

      I love the idea that peace comes when you relinquish control. Nice hub. Beautifully and personally written.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Midlife, thank you for visiting; I have found this to be true. It's up to me how long peace remains in my life.

    • Angel198625 profile image

      Amber Lynn 4 years ago

      This was beautiful to read, and can really make one think. You are right, we are not always in control, and we need to accept that :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Angel; I was just about to shut down for the night and your lovely comment is the perfect way to finish my day.

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

      Billy, I learn life's lessons from your writings.

      Keep us inspiring!

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 4 years ago from North Carolina

      I think I am a very accepting person in the fact that I don't judge others. I do have a hard time accepting the fact that others are not so accepting. The world is full of people who are so harsh and mean towards others yet aren't perfect themselves. I personally think we are here to help and serve one another and not to serve as the jury for others. The older I get the easier it is to let that go. Beautiful words and message.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tammy, I'm laughing because one of your phrases struck a chord with me...."I do have a hard time accepting the fact that others are not so accepting." True words my friend; I like to think I'm pretty laid back but I have little tolerance of intolerance. LOL...thank you!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vinaya, that is kind of you! Thank you Sir!

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      Christin Sander 4 years ago from Midwest

      I really enjoyed this hub and I'm glad you found the humility that brought peace to your heart. I too often wonder if so many people say they want peace with others - why can't we manage to get there? - I guess like everything else there are growing pains in life and humanity is still evolving. I love the sentiments in the Serenity prayer - it's a good reminder. Thanks for the great hub :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Christin, I always enjoy seeing your face pop up in the comments section. You have a very....serene face...there is peace in your look...I don't know any other way to describe it. Anyway, I am appreciative of you stopping by; I hope you are well and have a great weekend.

    • Melovy profile image

      Yvonne Spence 4 years ago from UK

      I like what you write here about acceptance.

      For me, sometimes acceptance seems to be easy and then sometimes it doesn’t. I definitely enjoy life a lot more when I feel acceptance, and I’m sure it also makes life more enjoyable for those around me. We can’t force ourselves to feel acceptance if we don’t, and strangely accepting that makes it easier to feel it!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Actually, Yvonne, that doesn't sound strange at all. Accepting our limitations and humanness is all part of the growth. I know a few people who are clueless on both counts. :)

      Thank you friend! I truly do appreciate you!

    • Melovy profile image

      Yvonne Spence 4 years ago from UK

      Yes, I agree, accepting our limitations is part of growth! I think also that when we accept ourselves as we are in any given moment that actually creates transformation - because we go from feeling sad or angry or resistant or whatever to feeling acceptance. It’s something we constantly choose, not something we achieve for all time so much as something that moment by moment we experience. At least that’s my experience and it feels reassuring.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Yvonne, I completely agree! I wake up each morning and tell myself I am exactly the way I should be at that moment; change may come, I deal with that change, and the next day I can accept that and accept myself.

      Great stuff my friend! Thank you!

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      such insight! if only other's shared one iota of it, Billy! people have erected so many walls - they have no idea how to...deal..any more. Trust is a thing of the past, seemingly - and ego is rampant. I heard recently that this generation is a generation of narcissists. This was said as if it didn't mean the same thing as a generation of thieves, liars, cheaters, bullies, rapists and murderers...

      sigh..

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Leslie my friend, where have you been???? I have missed you! Truly, and I think you know I mean that.

      Yes, I agree, this is a generation of narcissists...I really believe that! There is no depth to this generation...it is want, want, want and now, now, now, and me, me, me...and they are exhausting to be around.

      I have narrowed my world to a very small circle of real people...for self-preservation and for my sanity.

      Hope to see more of you my friend.

    • AnnaCia profile image

      AnnaCia 4 years ago

      Love your article. At this time I need as much information I can in order to find myself again. I remind myself that hurting give me a chance to grow. DO I grow alone, should I take with me others who mean a lot to me? I know that change will come. I cannot control events outside me, I can only work on my view of life and attitude toward experiences. Thank you very much, Bill.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ann, you face challenges most of us will never face....if you should ever need a friend to talk to, you have only to ask me. Thank you my dear; may today be the start of a new lifestyle filled with happiness.

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      Mary Hyatt 4 years ago from Florida

      The longer I get to know you, the better I like you, billybuc! I would be proud to have you as a son. You have come a long way, and I, for one, am very proud of what you have accomplished.

      I think sometimes God surely pulls all our strings, we are just puppets. How amused He must be to see us trying to go against what He want us to do.

      I voted this UP, and will certainly share everywhere!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mary, that may be one of the kindest things anyone has said to me. Thank you dear lady! I am trying my best to not amuse God quite so much nowadays. :)

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 4 years ago from Houston, Texas

      What a terrific video in addition to your hub. I felt like I was in the room with you listening to your wise words. If we could all practice acceptance of things that we cannot change and live with humility, the entire world could become a better place. Loved your Dr. Spock sign off at the end...live long and prosper. Voted up, useful and will share.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Awww, Peggy, thank you! I enjoy doing the videos; I think it gives people a chance to get to know me a little bit better. I appreciate your visit and your kind words.

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 4 years ago from South Carolina

      Hi Billy,

      Love this Lifestyle Choices Series and just purchased your Lifestyle Choices Kindle Book which I'm looking forward to reading.

      Voted up across the board except for funny.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Gail, you are very nice. Thank you so much; I hope you are well and staying cool this summer.

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 4 years ago from South Carolina

      I am nice (smile),

      but I bought your book because I love your writing style and feel inspired by the lifestyle choices you've been making in your own life. I believe our choices shape our lives and feel we're never too old or too wise to learn how to make choices that bring even greater measures of peace, joy and serenity.

      So, dear teacher and friend, I look forward to learning and growing with you.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Yes, Gail, you are nice! I also agree, that the day I stop learning for others is the day they are shoveling dirt over me. I still have a lot to learn and I look forward to it.

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      raciniwa 4 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      “Humility is perpetual quietness of heart." i love this statement Bill...your words are like echo in my not so distant path wherein i too was groping, seeking for the light...now i found it...yet, like what you said there are times we're having a hard time letting go...prayer of course is a great recourse and a placater for the troubled heart...

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Raci, what a pleasure to see you again. I love that statement as well; I repeat it to myself quite often. Thank you for visiting again.

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