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Facing the Unknown

Updated on February 26, 2013
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The unknown seems bigger than the universe. She wonders what is waiting around that next turn in the road. It feels ominous, dark and – foreboding. The apprehension is holding her prisoner, not allowing the creative thoughts to push through.

She is always aware; aware of her body and her mental state. But, it is clear to her that she is off her game. She feels heavy and sad and almost lost in the shadow of all that is closing in. Again, she wonders, what is it? What is this torrential grayness that is raining down?

Over the last few days, she has used all her energy on things that seemed important. Sleep was never a problem for her but in the last few days, sleep has come in short spurts. Her mind simply will not slow down long enough for sleep to come. Reminding herself that she is strong and in charge of what she allows in her space, she makes a decision. She will change her routine today. She won’t force the creative processes that have fueled her for the past few months. Instead, she will lose herself in the mundane and take some time to just be. There must be a way to let the light in so that she can find her way back. Change, that’s it, that’s what she needs.

She always looks for confirmation of her feelings and so she turned to an old resource, her journals of quotations. They have never failed to satisfy her questions when life feels like the finely woven web of the spider. Turing page after page, her eyes sought the words that would lift her back into that place of comfort and knowing. She begins to read aloud –

Quotes on The Unknown

  • “Faith and doubt both are needed - not as antagonists, but working side by side to take us around the unknown curve.” - Lillian Smith



  • Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable.”George Patton



  • Everyone who achieves success in a great venture solves each problem as they came to it. They helped themselves. And they were helped through powers known and unknown to them at the time they set out on their voyage. They keep going regardless of the obstacles they met.” – W. Clement Stone



  • "There are things known, and there are things unknown, And in between are the Doors." ~ Jim Morrison



  • “Neverbe afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” - Corrie Ten Boom


And finally –

  • “The key to the mystery of a great artist is that for reasons unknown, he will give away his energies and his life just to make sure that one note follows another... and leaves us with the feeling that something is right in the world.”- Leonard Bernstein

That’s when she knew. The answer to what she was feeling was to do what she loved – write about it.

She had made a decision not to write today. She felt she needed a break; a chance to recharge and refresh. She needed to step away for a bit, just to see this obsession from a different place. Or, so she thought.

As she started to write, it occurred to her that the problem was not within her. The problem was that she had allowed external forces to bombard her.

The Storm: There is a hurricane brewing in the Atlantic Ocean and it looks like a bad one. The news is flashing warning after warning of black outs, sustained winds, flooding and it worries her. She has friends on the coast. Some have already lost everything to these storms. Others have weathered the storms but she cannot help but worry about their safety. She worries about family. It is her job, she thinks.

Politics: The temperature of the political climate is rising. Her friends and family are divided on what is best for our country. She has made her decision and hopes it is the right one. Her heart is heavy over what she sees happening in this country she loves. Her people are suffering and worried about jobs and health care and putting food on the table. Some no longer have a table. It weighs heavy on her.

Death: It happens. She knows that. But she has reached an age where it happens frequently to people she has known and loved. In weeks past she has lost some friends she was not prepared to lose. They weren’t supposed to go first. And she wonders, why them? Why not me?

Being empathic has never been easy but she learned at an early age to accept it. Friends often asked her why she cared so much and her answer was always the same – “because it’s who I am”. Empaths care about everyone and everything and, they not only feel the struggles of the world emotionally, but it sometimes becomes a physical pain too. Even in its grip, she would not change it. She has never wanted to be the kind of person who didn’t care, even if it hurt a little to care so much. Even if it hurt a lot to care so much.

Well, “she” is “me”.

And now that I have reached into my bag of tricks (my quotation journals) and put my feelings to paper, it is as clear as the air on a sunny Spring morning. Over the past few days, I have empathically felt the division in our country. I have sensed the anger and hostility of the Republicans and Democrats and Libertarians. I have talked to friends who are worried about their next meal while millions of dollars are being spent on campaign ads and rhetoric. The worry of another large storm battering the country and leaving those who are already in pain without electricity or water weighs heavy on my soul and I wonder, how much more can they take? The loss of some friends to death is never easy. Friendships are a special gift and when we lose our friends, they leave a hole in our hearts. The hole will heal but it takes time and at my age, time has become more precious with each passing day. You see, I love life. I love my friends and family. I love this silly, empathic person I am because being her allows me to “feel” and I’d rather live one more day with these feelings than to live another lifetime without.

The unknown – is just that and so it will remain. With understanding, comes acceptance. There will always be unknowns and I will face them with as much courage as I can muster. But in the end, it is about faith and that I have. All is well. You might consider this therapeutic writing as indeed it has been. Allowing ourselves to walk through the door (as Jim Morrison describes) can bring us to that place of understanding. When the forces of the universe seem insurmountable, the power of creativity and faith can sustain us until the storm has passed. All is well.

© 2012 Linda Crist, All rights reserved.

Read more of my hubs here.

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  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Well I'm sure glad you decided to write, because this may well be your best work. This is poetic in nature, and huge in its scope. Beautiful work, Linda. I am simply in awe of this piece and I am sharing it on Facebook so the world can read it. Bravo!

    hugs

    bill

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Oh Bill, it was just the therapy I needed to day and your beautiful sentiment is the icing on the cake, the lemon in my tea, the hot fudge on my ice-cream. I am smiling from ear to ear but more than that, my heart is filled to bursting. Thank you so much. Hugs back at ya pal!

  • Faith Reaper profile image

    Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

    Linda, that is exactly why we all love you, beause you are you!!!! What a superb write, oh my goodness. You have taken us to another level here in your writing, and I understand you so much and know exactly how you feel dear one. Wow, is all I can say. I am blown away by this amazing write. I thought I was reading one of my journals!!! I am thrilled you have written your thoughts here and shared them with all of us, and I am sure there are plenty who are feeling and thinking the exact same way.

    We know there will no doubt be storms throughout our lives, but it is having that strong faith to persevere through whatever life slaps us in the face with - then, after we get up off the floor, we start another day!

    Voted Way Up, up, up . . .

    In His Love Always, Faith Reaper

  • Mhatter99 profile image

    Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

    Your rationale seems to be clear. It will be your success which will be the final "proving point". Shine

  • Michele Travis profile image

    Michele Travis 4 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

    I agree with bill, this is a wonderful hub. It is going to be over soon, but right now the storms are coming. This has been the toughest fight for the presidency ever.

    Please remember you are a wonderful writer.

    Voted up.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Faith - I love you too! Today was cathartic. I can't explain it better than I did in this piece. It was "a moment" to say the least. Do you know the feeling, when you've closed the bathroom door and taken a really hot shower and the whole room fills with steam and you can barely see? When you open the door and the fresh air comes in, the steam vanishes and the whole world feels crisp again. That's how I felt when this piece was written today. I'm so glad you liked it. I felt very vulnerable writing it but I am glad I did. Thank you ALWAYS for your love and support.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    MH - You will never know what your simple comment meant to me. Thank you my friend.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Michele - thank you so much for the encouragement. I can't wait for this election to be over so we can move on with whatever happens.

  • CloudExplorer profile image

    Mike Pugh 4 years ago from New York City

    Immensely powerful piece here Linda, wow!

    Your feelings towards others is definitely genuine, and I know because I to am an empath, but I try my best to not allow my emotions to be so affected by the worlds issues, because in the past its hurt me big time.

    I commend you on creating such a cool way of expressing yourself here, your writing style is definitely super awesome indeed, I like how you changed the writing from third person, to first person, and all nice technique.

    This Hurricane will come and pass, I pray to god that there isn't any human casualties, as for the conditions many of us are in today I also pray to God for change in a huge way to help suffering families as well.

    Thumbs up and out!

    Thanks for having the courage to share this heart felt hub here, it was touching to me to read, and to be able to share in your thoughts as well.

  • shiningirisheyes profile image

    Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

    Irc - This has to be one of your most self-reflective piece so far. A message to live by and this couldn't come at a better time for so many who are struggling with the very issues you so creatively address.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Bi Mike. Your comment mean.s an awful lot to me because as you said, you understand. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say and so now I am able to understand the struggle I had in writing yesterday. I am a really strong person but in order to put these feelings to words, I had to allow by vulnerablity to be seen. Psychologically, I didn't want to write. I didn't want anyone to witness my weakness. But it's all out there now and I don't regret it. It was a pivotal moment and one I hope to carry with me as i move forward in my desire to write. Thank you so much for your kindness.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Hi shiningirisheyes! You are so sweet. I really appreciate your compliment. I hope that others will be helped by this piece, somehow. Thanks so much for reading.

  • CloudExplorer profile image

    Mike Pugh 4 years ago from New York City

    You're very much welcome Linda, I'm happy you can use writing to get out them inner emotions that get bottled up inside us all at times, awesome stuff!

    I do it quite often too as you very well know hehe! Enjoy your day you deserve to have a very good enjoyable one indeed. Cheers to powerful hub writing, and awesome creative expression.

  • tirelesstraveler profile image

    Judy Specht 4 years ago from California

    Apt for my life at the moment. Our favorite neighbor took a Sunday afternoon nap last week and never woke up. We are in shock, he was 63.

    Life is in the air and politics are , well heated.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    tirelesstraveler - I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers for you and your neighbors.

  • bravewarrior profile image

    Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

    Linda, writing has a way of healing, recognizing, inspiring and ridding ourselves of burdens. That's how I began writing; as a way of having a conversation with myself because oftentimes, I was the only one who would listen. Sometimes we are the only ones who need to listen. Introspection is the key to healing, strengthening and becoming who we are. I can relate completely!

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    okay, other me (Shauna), get out of head. lol

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