Things to Say and Not Say to Someone with Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks.

1. There are four basic types of bipolar disorder; all of them involve clear changes in mood:.Bipolar I Disorder— defined by manic episodes that last at least 7 days, or by manic symptoms that are so severe that the person needs immediate hospital care. Usually, depressive episodes occur as well, typically lasting at least 2 weeks. Episodes of depression with mixed features (having depression and manic symptoms at the same time) are also possible.
2. Bipolar II Disorder— defined by a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes, but not the full-blown manic episodes described above.
3. Cyclothymic Disorder (also called cyclothymia)— defined by numerous periods of hypomanic symptoms as well numerous periods of depressive symptoms lasting for at least 2 years (1 year in children and adolescents). However, the symptoms do not meet the diagnostic requirements for a hypomanic episode and a depressive episode.
4. Other Specified and Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorders— defined by bipolar disorder symptoms that do not match the three categories listed above.

• If your friend or a loved one is or is not diagnosed with bipolar but are pretty sure this is what your deal with, it can get chaotic and crazy at times. Here is what to say and what not to say to someone with bipolar.
• Don’t define this person by the disorder.
• Don't tell them to stop feeling sorry for themselves.
• Don't ask them if they took their medication when they have been in charge of their own meds and doing well with it for a period of time.
• Don't say anything aggressive to them out of anger. In fact, don't say anything at all if you are still in your emotions. Let time pass so you can think rationally.
• Don't tell them you will do something if they are capable of doing the action themselves.
• Don't use any sentence that starts with "if you loved me".
• Do understand that they may cancel plans at the last minute and don't shame them because of this.

Do let them know that you are here for them and they are not a burden to you

Do call them daily if you are able to but weekly if you must. This is just a check-in to see how their day is going.

• Stay in control. Either hide your fear, as it may cause the situation to escalate, or tell the person directly his or her anger is frightening you
• Do not give in to all demands, keep limits and consequences clear
• Do not try to approach this person even if it is to hug them, if they need a hug they will let you know or come to you

• Protect yourself and others from potential injury because some anger actions.
• Do let them know after they have calmned down that their violence towards people will not be accepted or tolerated
• Do repeat what they are telling you so that they know you are hearing what they are saying and help them to see what they may be saying is not what they want to be saying.

• DON'T ask them how I feel, unless you really want to know.
• DON'T tell me about the latest fad cure. I want to be cured more than anything and if there is a legitimate cure out there, my personal doctor will let me know. Also, don't call my doctor a quack and encourage me to throw out my medications.
• DON'T count me out. This could be the day that I'm ready to accept an invitation.
• DON'T give up on me.

• "I love you"
• "I care"
• "You're not alone in this"
• "I'm here for you""I
• "Do you want a hug?"
• "You are important to me"
• "If you need a friend..."
• "It will pass, we can ride it out together"
• "When all this is over, I'll still be here"
• "You have so many extraordinary gifts - how can you expect to live an ordinary life?"
• "I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself so you don't need to worry that your pain might hurt me"
• "I listen to you talk about it, and I can't imagine what it's like for you. I just can't imagine how hard it must be"
• "I can't really fully understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion"
• "I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I care about you and care that you are hurting"
• "I'll be your friend no matter what".