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How you can heal your Broken Heart

Updated on August 24, 2014
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Are you grieving excessively over a lost love? Whether that love was lost due to death or because they chose to leave I have a few suggestions that might help you with your broken heart.


First off, I want to say that grieving is good and necessary. So that when a tragedy happens you should grieve. In fact, I would encourage it, cry, cry long, cry hard and cry for awhile. Listen to sad songs, look at photographs, watch sad movies, get it all out and let grief run it's full course. However after that time of grieving is done if you find yourself still grieving after years maybe, well maybe it's time to take a different road.


I once had a dog (and no this isn't about my dog..although the death of a beloved pet is very painful). I wrote about him, about how he died and how it took me half a year to even begin to get over his death. I didn't start to overcome my grief until a friend of mine said in passing “you must have received a great deal of joy from your dog to be grieving so”. That thought was the key that turned the lock in my sad grieving heart and set me upon the path of healing.


Everything under the sun is temporary, everything! Let your grief be turned into gratefulness, gratefulness that you had a moment of joy, a moment of happiness, be grateful that you were in love. This feeling of gratefulness will be a salve or a balm to your wounded heart and with every breath of gratefulness lies the hope of someday experiencing love again. It will be like the morning after a hard rain when everything is clean and fresh. You will be able to live again with the joy of knowing you experienced one of the greatest experiences a human being can... and that is love.


Maybe the person you loved couldn't or didn't love you back in the way you desired so as to consummate your love. Therefore, you heart is broken. Nevertheless, you felt the love in your heart which means that you carry the love inside of you. There are many people out there that cannot love. How wonderful that you have the gift of love in your heart. Don't you see what a gift that is? If you carry the love in your heart you can find another soul to lavish your love on. It's inside you and with you and no one can take it from you.


Listen; how many people go through their entire lives never hearing the words “I Love You”? If you have heard those words and now are grieving because you no longer hear them, let gratefulness wash over your broken heart. Be grateful that you heard them and experienced the joy that some will never hear, not once in their whole life. Even if that joy was short-lived. Isn't it better to have experienced it for a moment than never to have experienced it at all?


Once you begin to train your heart to feel gratefulness rather than sorrow over your past your broken heart will begin to heal. That healing may take awhile but you will heal and you will heal in such a way that maybe the gift of love will find it's way to you again.


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    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 5 years ago from Manhattan

      I'm so glad, good luck to you Tami.

    • Tami Fite profile image

      Tami Fite 5 years ago

      So very true -- thank you for your honesty and sharing your heart. I needed this today. It has been seven months since my mom took her last breath on earth and began her eternal existence... and today I am struggling, because I miss her so much! This writing has given me a glimmer of joy.... for that I am thankful!

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 6 years ago from Manhattan

      Thanks Diana.

    • DTroth profile image

      Diana Owens 6 years ago from My Little Hole In The Wall, HubPages, USA

      Hi Brie,

      Beautiful writing. It will help tremendously.

      Thank you. (:

      Diana

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
      Author

      Brie Hoffman 6 years ago from Manhattan

      Yes, melody...how very fortunate for you. A lot of people would be lucky to have love for 13 years. I pray that you would be comforted.

    • profile image

      melody 6 years ago

      I lost my loved one to death on 12/16/11.I'm fortunate to have been loved for 13 years. No one is promised tomorrow. Tell your loved ones everyday that you love them

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 6 years ago from Manhattan

      Yes, I speak from experience :(

    • profile image

      nickesha bailey 6 years ago

      great topic because everyday someone gets their heart broken

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 6 years ago from Manhattan

      Thanks.

    • profile image

      BestConcerns 6 years ago

      hearts become so fragile in love that even a minor jolt can break them apart.....so healing is mandatory phenomenon..and one should know how to mend hearts....nice work and cool suggestons!!

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
      Author

      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Very well said Ruby

    • profile image

      Rubytaylor 7 years ago

      Life is a series of peaks and valleys, highs and lows, joys and disappointments. It's when you learn to appreciate what you DO have and when you learn to still be grateful for your blessings that you can move through the valleys of life knowing that "Life goes on!"

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Thanks acaetnna, I'm so glad you found me too!

    • acaetnna profile image

      acaetnna 7 years ago from Guildford

      The love always remains in one's heart. Great hub, voted up. So glad I found you.

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Thanks I hope it makes a difference.

    • saket71 profile image

      saket71 7 years ago from Delhi, India

      Hi Brie, nice hub, lovely message in it.

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
      Author

      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Thanks, I hope you voted it up.

    • profile image

      omermeer522 7 years ago

      wow great post, its definitly helping me deal with my losses

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      I can relate. Good luck to you and thanks for commenting.

    • Kavita Trivedi profile image

      Kavita Trivedi 7 years ago from London

      It has taken me 2 years to get over my lost love. Some people think that is sad but for me, he was my life. You are right, it is all part of the process and I am so much stronger and wiser now

      Many Thanks for sharing

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Thanks again D.Virtual.Doctor

    • D.Virtual.Doctor profile image

      Funom Theophilus Makama 7 years ago from Europe

      really a great Hub. If we look into the positive side of this very difficult situation, you will find out that, there isn't much to lose but rather its another opportunity to pick up the pieces and move on... Well, I do not hope to get into it, though.

      Thanks

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Thanks for the kind comments heart4theword.

    • heart4theword profile image

      heart4theword 7 years ago from hub

      Really like...how that person gave you just the right words, to cling on to those special memories of love, for your dog.

      You are so right, there are so many...who don't know how to love, and have never experienced an agape love...my heart grieves for them. There is an area in my life, where I have not experienced this kind of love.

      So thankful for this hub, and how you shared a different way to look at the loss of a loved one. A good reminder too, that our hearts do need to grieve...to be healed:) Excellent Brie!

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      So very true no body!

    • no body profile image

      Robert E Smith 7 years ago from Rochester, New York

      When my first wife and I split up I thought I was to be alone forever. I never sought anyone else but God healed me and brought me someone that helped the shades of misery that kept haunting me for years. I called them "ghosts of my past" and God killed them off, one by one. I think that the crying part of what you said is essential, even for men. Go somewhere "safe" with God and cry it out. Then make up your mind to serve the living God and let Him lead you. Sometimes He has things in His plan that we don't know. Sometimes the path we travel has twists and turns and we need to take one step at a time.

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Thanks MariannGood

    • MariannGood profile image

      MariannGood 7 years ago

      Yes, love flows free in your own being and soul. Thank you for a great hub!

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Thanks Elijah

    • Elijah Returns profile image

      Elijah Returns 7 years ago from United Kingdom

      Very good brie

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Thank you fucsia, that means a lot to me.

    • fucsia profile image

      fucsia 7 years ago

      I really like your words! yours is an important contribution, thank you

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Thanks

    • fred allen profile image

      fred allen 7 years ago from Myrtle Beach SC

      Profound! That healing comes through hurting! We will never appreciate the highs without experiencing the lows. Great hub!

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Thanks 2besure

    • 2besure profile image

      Pamela Lipscomb 7 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      Break ups are always difficult. Depending on your personality some recover quicker than others. Great points on gratitude for having experience love at all.

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Thanks Majicat :)

    • majicat profile image

      majicat 7 years ago

      I've thought about this one a lot over the years. the grief process over lost love is the same whether they left you or died. sometimes I think that it would be better had the lost love died...at least easier to accept, and acceptance is the really the key. You must go through the process of grief, the five stages; denial, bargaining, anger, depression and finally acceptance. sometimes we go though these stages quickly, sometimes we get stuck, in the bargaining if the love is still around, or in anger. some say that depression is anger turned inward. I think that is probably true, but depression is almost always about avoidance, in this case, the feeling of loss or responsibility over my part.

      Nice blog, Brie, thought provoking. thank you

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Yes, and being thankful for having them in your life helps too.

    • BRIAN SLATER profile image

      Brian Slater 7 years ago from England

      hi Brie, your so right about letting grief go naturally. I have had to grieve twice for a loss in my life, once for my 4yr old daughter and secondly for my 14 yr old dog, both left me feeling sad and empty. When I got divorced 18yrs ago that was the same, grief comes from all angles and you have to let it take its course, because I think you become a better richer person for it.

    • Brie Hoffman profile image
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      Brie Hoffman 7 years ago from Manhattan

      Thanks, I write what works for me :)

    • msorensson profile image

      msorensson 7 years ago

      Sensitive topic, Brie. I enjoyed the hub