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How to Overcome Your Inner Objections

Updated on August 17, 2013

Transform Your Life

If you have been struggling with an issue for a long time, it probably means you are sabotaging yourself in some way.

We need to overcome our inner objections in order to achieve our goals.

We often avoid dealing with things that trigger painful memories. But it is possible to heal the past without re-triggering trauma.

This lens is about dealing with money problems, money issues, money worries and debt - the stuff we don't want to talk about.

This lens also deals with embarrassment to do with weight problems. Our embarrassment and shame holds us back - until we acknowledge it and deal with it.

This lens explores how you can transform your finances and every aspect of your life using EFT.

Are You Struggling?

Dealing with Difficult Issues

Are you struggling with difficult issues?

If you have experienced trauma in the past, the mind has ways of protecting you from the pain of reliving that trauma.

But there are ways of healing the past without re-triggering the trauma.

For example, you may have had a financial trauma in the past. Maybe you were out of work. Maybe you had bills and debts to pay. You lay awake nights worrying about how you were going to pay these debts. Maybe you worried about whether you would be able to keep a roof over your head, or your family's heads.

These kinds of experiences are traumatic. You won't want to think about them because of the pain, and because of the guilt and shame involved.

But the only real way out of difficulties is to face them, while being gentle and kind to yourself. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) provides ways to heal without re-triggering your trauma.

Attract Abundance Now with EFT - How to Combine EFT with the Law of Attraction

Attract Abundance Now: with EFT and the Law of Attraction Volume 1
Attract Abundance Now: with EFT and the Law of Attraction Volume 1
In Attract Abundance Now with EFT, Carol Look gives clear, step-by-step instructions on how to use EFT, and how to combine it with the LOA to achieve results. For more about this, see Attract Abundance Now with EFT.

Money Responds to Our Thoughts and Feelings

Money responds to our thoughts and feelings. It does what we tell it to do.

EFT can help us to transform our experience of money.

Usually, when we have any kind of negative experiences, memories, thoughts or emotions, we tend to bury them. Dealing with them is painful, so we avoid doing so.

We may use many things to avoid dealing with the pain, including food, alcohol, gambling, shopping or other types of behaviours.

It is understandable that we want to avoid facing the pain. However, avoidance does not help. It only makes the problems worse.

The more we eliminate our negative thoughts and emotions, and the more we emphasise positive thoughts and emotions, the more we can attract the tings we want - including money and financial prosperity.

Working with Resistances

What gets in the way of us achieving our goals

As soon as we start to move toward a goal, we immediately become aware of what gets in the way. This is because LOVE ALWAYS BRINGS UP ITS OPPOSITE FOR HEALING.

If you start working with affirmations - positive statements about the kind of future you want to create - your mind immediately starts to come up with objections. In EFT, these are called "tail-enders". In Rebirthing, we called them the "response column".

Be Gentle with Yourself

It is natural and normal to experience objections.

It is natural and normal to experience objections.

Whenever you use a method of self-discovery, and start to move towards your goals, You will think, "this is not going to work" or "I don't believe this". As I said above, in EFT, these thoughts are known as tail-enders.

Tail-enders are part of the process. They will always occur when we start to move forward, and we need to be gentle and patient with ourselves when we experience them.

It is important to work with these thoughts. The part of us that comes up with them is feeling anxious and afraid, and needs reassurance. When using EFT, we need to tap on those anxieties and fears.

EFT is a very gentle method. We don't force ourselves to move forward. We need to be real, and deal with what is there, how we are actually feeling now.

It is also important not to give in to the tail-enders. They are only thoughts, and we can change them.

Tail-Enders Are a Good Thing

Why tail-enders are a positive thing

These objections, or "tail-enders", are actually a positive thing. The fact that your mind comes up with these objections means that you are becoming more aware of what gets in the way of your achieving your goals.

Your fears, anxieties and doubts will actually block you from achieving your goals. The more you are aware of these things, the more able you are to address them.

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Working with Money Problems

How to use EFT for money problems, money worries and financial difficulties

When using EFT, it's always important to be as specific as possible.

To read about EFT, see Achieving Fabulous Success.

If you have problems with a specific bill or debt, take out the most recent letter you have received. Put it on the table in front of you. Look at it. Then tap on how you feel.

For example, you might tap on:

- This anxiety about this debt.

- I feel anxious.

- I feel worried I can't pay this.

- How am I ever going to pay this bill?

Try to remember when you felt like this in the past. For example, this might be a memory from your childhood. You could tap on:

- I remember when I was seven, my parents couldn't pay the rent. I felt anxious.

This is just an example - you need to use your own memories.

Keep tapping until you have reduced your level of anxiety, worry or stress. The aim is to reduce the level of intensity to zero.

You might also feel embarrassed about your bills or debts. You can tap on

- this embarrassment about money

- this embarrassment about my bills

- this shame

and so forth. Tapping will help you to reduce your level of embarrassment and shame, so that you can act more effectively to address your problems.

Remember, it is important to focus on specific bills or debts. Tap on the specific amount you owe. If this feels uncomfortable, you can tap on:

"I feel uncomfortable about tapping on this bill."

"I don't want to think about this."

"This embarrassment"

"It's too difficult."

"It's too hard."


Most of the time, we tend to blame ourselves for our money problems. If you are doing this, you will need to do one or more rounds of:

- This is my fault.

- I should have handled my money better.

- I am useless with money.

- I am so stupid.

Or similar thoughts.

These negative thoughts and feelngs will block you from attracting what you want. You need to tap on them in order to let go of them and transform them into more positve, helpful thoughts and feelings, and EFT can help you with this.

To read about how to use EFT to help you find a job, see Achieving Fabulous Success.

I can produce a unique, personalized tapping script for you. See the Resources section above to "Eliminate Your Blocks to Abundance".

Your fears and worries can haunt you and undermine you until you deal with them.

But you can change your thoughts and feelings, to get the results you want.

Why Are You Sabotaging Yourself?

Reasons Why We Sabotage Ourselves

If you have made a New Year's resolution to lose weight, get out of debt or deal with another difficult issue, you may find in a month or two that you are no closer to achieving your goal,

The old patterns of behavior may be very deeply and firmly established.

In order to change our behavior, we first need to change our mental and emotional patterns.

One part of your mind may be saying, "Yeah! I want to lose weight!" But another part of your mind may not be so sure. The net result of this is that you will not lose the weight - you will sabotage yourself.

It is important to remember that that part of your mind is trying to help you. It is trying to protect you. Often, it is trying to protect you from difficult or painful memories.

EFT can help you to achieve your goals without re-triggering your memory of the traumatic event and the difficult or painful emotions that accompany the memory.

Difficult Emotions

Dealing with difficult emotions about money problems, money worries and debt

A lot of times we don't actually deal with our difficult emotions around money problems, money worries and debt.

We don't like to talk about our money problems and issues. We don't even like to think about them.

You may have put all the bills and letters from your creditors into a drawer because it's just too difficult and painful to deal with them. If so, you are not the only person to do this. This is called AVOIDANCE.

If you are avoiding dealing with clutter in your home, if you are putting off clearing out your garage or your attic, or if you are neglecting other tasks in your home that need to be done - you may be avoiding dealing with your habits and patterns of thoughts and emotions.

The reason why we avoid things is to do with our level of anxiety. Using EFT can help you to reduce your anxiety level.

We may pretend that we don't have these feelings. We may even pretend to ourselves, I'm okay, I'm all right, I'm in control. This is called DENIAL.

Here's the thing: AVOIDANCE and DENIAL do not sort out our money problems. Not only does it make the problem worse, it makes it FEEL worse.

You need to tap on things like:

- this anxiety

- this anxiety about my bills/debts

- this embarrassment.

- this shame

- I feel ashamed about this debt

- I feel ashamed of myself.

The more you reduce the intensity of these emotions, the easier it will be for you to deal with your money problems.

To read about how to use EFT, see Achieving Fabulous Success.

And remember, you are not the only person struggling with bills and debts. Many people all over the world are facing the same problems.

The Trouble with Tapping

Sometimes, tapping on an issue can bring up very difficult, distressing material. When Gary Craig first introduced EFT, he placed a strong emphasis on being gentle with yourself. EFT was supposed to reduce your level of anxiety, stress or trauma, and it did so for many people.

These days, the emphasis may be more on getting results.

One problem is that we may think we have dealt with something from our past, but we have still not dealt with certain aspects of it. EFT can then lead to our becoming very distressed when we start tapping around that trauma.

I think the rule is, gently does it. If you start feeling distressed, you need to do some positive tapping on things like:

I am breathing in peace.

I feel relaxed and calm.

I am feeling calm and peaceful.

When I think about X, I feel calm and peaceful.

I feel peace in my heart.

I feel peace in every cell of my body.

And similar thoughts.

You Deserve the Best

If, when you were a child, your parents, teachers or other adults gave you negative messages about yourself, either verbally or through their actions, those negative messages may still be affecting you now.

You may still have self-esteem issues, or difficulties in different areas of your life. Self-esteem issues can affect your money and finances, your relationships, your health, or any area of your life.

It doesn't matter what the other person said or did. What matters is that we internalise these messages. They become part of us.

I know this as I was subjected to systematic abuse as a young person. This went on for several years. The problem is one then becomes the abuser. The other person does not have to do or say anything to me now. It's as if I have taken on the role of abuser. Overcoming and transforming this has been a large part of my healing process.

Part of the problem is that children believe that they deserve the treatment they receive. If you are a survivor of abuse, you need to remind yourself that you did not deserve the abuse. It was not your fault. It's important to tap on this over and over again, to undermine and destroy these negative patterns.

Remember, you deserve the best. Some positive thoughts you can tap on include:

I deserve to have a wonderful life.

I deserve to have a happy life.

I deserve to have wonderful relationships.

I deserve to have a healthy body.

I deserve to have radiant health.

I deserve to have plenty of money.

I deserve to be financially successful.

I deserve to have a wonderful job.

I deserve to have a career I love.

Remember, keep tapping on these over and over again until you feel calm, relaxed and happy. Keep doing this for as long as it takes. Changing your emotions can help you to change your results.

Money Mastery Video

Tap along with this video to help you attract money and financial abundance.

Feeling Embarrassed about Weight Issues

Our feelings of embarrassment and shame hold us back.

When we feel embarrassed about our weight issues, our feelings of embarrassment and shame will hold us back until we deal with them.

You may feel embarrassed even about the word "weight".

You may feel uncomfortable whenever anyone mentions weight, weight loss or size.

Or maybe you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed getting on the scale.

If you feel embarrassed when you hear or read words like "weight", "fat" or similar terms, you need to tap on these to reduce your anxiety levels before you can even begin to address any weight issues.

That's because, if you feel so embarrassed about weight issues that you don't even want to think about them, you are likely to sabotage yourself.

Also, if you are blaming yourself or beating yourself up, your are unlikely to be able to deal with your issues effectively.

EFT can help you to reduce your anxiety and discomfort about dealing with weight issues.

You need to tap on things like:

"I feel embarrassed about my weight"

"I feel embarrassed about weighing myself"

"I feel embarrassed when I step on the scale"

"I avoid looking at myself in the mirror"

or just words like

- weight

- fat

- weight loss

- dieting

or similar.

If you have had bad experiences with dieting or weight loss (as many people have), you will need to tap on these incidents as well.

To read about how to use EFT to help you find a job, see Achieving Fabulous Success.

I can produce an individual, personalized tapping script for you. See the Resources section above to "Eliminate Your Blocks to Abundance".

Reader Feedback

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    • MissionBoundCre profile image


      8 years ago

      There are so many things here that I highly agree with and many that I highly disagree with .. But one thing is certain you've done a marvelous job expressing your views and I commend you for that. God Bless


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