How do I stop obsessive thoughts of inadequacy?
Throughout the day, thoughts and feelings of overwhelming inadequacy and incompetence enter my awareness. I can't believe that this is normal, yet it seems that I am not the only one who experiences this. Now that I really think about it, almost everyone I've ever known has the same problem. I would love to find a legitimate solution, not just a load of advice on how I can distract myself from it. I'm sure that I'm not the only one looking for help with this issue. Thanks.
I wish i new just know your not alone i have the same kind of thoughts i struggle with every day i think we all do were just to scared to admit it
The core is issue is a faulty belief that you are flawed in some way.
It is easy to rationalize why we may be flawed or inadequate, but it doesn't make it true.
It is my belief that you are perfect exactly as you. Every bit of you, especially the flaws... perhaps we just have the wrong perspective on them at the moment.
I would suggest making a list of all the reasons WHY you feel inadequate: every failure, weakness, shortcoming, etc. After you have that list, ask yourself the question for each item: "How does this serve me? Where is the hidden gift that I'm overlooking?"
Critical in this process is letting go of the inclination to compare yourself to others. Inadequacy can thrive when we think we are "less than" others, or what we "should" be. However, we need to appreciate that we can't see everything about other people, usually only the things we feel we are lacking.
Respect the individuality of yourself, and others, by acknowledging that each of us have own own unique life path, and will learn and develop in ways that are needed exactly for us, at exactly the right time.
I'd recommend Loving What Is by Byron Katie. That is an amazing book on this topic, and will be a great help.
This happened to me alot in the past, now its just once in a while. Apparently they are called ANTS - automatic negative thoughts. Here is how i decreased them
* Every night before I sleep I write down 5-10 things that I enjoyed that day, things that I accomplished and remind myself of my goals, and how far I've come.
* Occasionally I'll also read success stories/books of people who have had the problems I've had, but have found a way to overcome them.
* Stand up comedy shows also have helped
The awareness that many of us feel inadequate, it should make you feel ... adequate! For me it is useful to think that I am not alone in feeling in this way ... Indeed it happens to me, most often in the past that now. Now I am working on my self-esteem and I feel better. When the negative think starts inside my mind, I think to all my strengths and the progress that I made.
by Lilly 5 years ago
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