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I am "pissed off" today! Am I the only one?
My sister left today on an all expenses overseas trip for her family for an entire month from my mother for Christmas. I got nothing of the sort and nor did my brother (there are 3 of us). To add more salt to the wounds, her household costs are also being covered so that she doesn't have to worry about any bills upon return.
What?! (I really want to say "What the F*#%!) Can you believe that!
I am disappointed, mainly in myself, for being so damned in emotional angst, envy and hurt as I should've learned by now who is the "favourite". Gee...another one bites the dust huh! How about you?
Did you ever analyze the reason why your sister is a favorite and you are not? Keeping your emotions aside, can you think logically on what you did wrong that cause such bitterness in your parents' mind?
I am going to be brutally honest here so let me apologize in advance for hurting your feelings. I do not know what your relationship is with your family and I am not going to make any assumptions. I would not even answer this question but you put it out there and I read it so now I feel compelled to respond.
You need to worry about you and not other people. You are a grown woman and no one is responsible for buying you anything or making sure you have a good time. If you want to go on a vacation save the money and go on one and if you can not afford it then your priorities are in the wrong place and you need focus on getting your life in order.
I understand that it hurts when family treats you unfairly, but you have to learn that you are your own person. You can not let others define you or who you are. You have to live your life and not base your happiness on the actions of others. Who is the favorite should stop mattering around puberty. You need to grow your own wings and learn to fly for yourself.
Life can suck sometimes but you can lay down and whine about it or you can suck it up and enjoy the good times when they are their.
Best of luck to you and I hope you find the strength in yourself to not measure your worth by others but by what you can and will accomplish on your own.
I can feel your pain, but this is the worst time to give you advice, when you feel so emotional and upset. We are not capable to think rationally when we are upset.
I used to play the blaming game. I blamed everyone, my parents, my ex-husband, coworkers, friends, people who annoyed me. Everyone. But me. It is not about blame, anyways.
There is a very good book by Jeffrey E. Young and Janet S. Klosko "Reinventing your life. The breakthrough Program to End Negative Behaviour... and Feel Great Again."
"A lifetrap is a pattern that starts in childhood and reverberates throughout life. It began with something that was done to us by our families or by other children. We were abandoned, criticized, overprotected, abused, excluded, or deprived - we were damaged in some way. [...] Lifetraps determine how we think, feel, act, and relate to others."
I have a difficult relationship with my mother, even though it does not seem as harsh as yours, but it still hurts me that she does not understand me. Forty years were not enough. But I understand now that she did only what she could not more not less. I know how painful your pain is. I had so much of it. I married "my mother", my ex was a recreation of my childhood.
I wish you all the best, but believe me there is nobody who can do the work for you, you are in control over your life, in complete and total control.
Yeah. I know that feeling. I;m a bit P.O.'d over that Jersey Shore garbage is being propogated, and those douche towels getting book deals and business deals and the like for being drunks, obnoxious, boorish, loud, bestial, classless, and annoying.
I dunno, I shouldn't be so upset, but I can't stand things being handed to those who haven't done anything to earn their rewards.
by purpleangel477 years ago
You love her yes ... but are you in your 20's, 30's, maybe older with unresolved issues with your Mom?
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