My Friend Self harms, are their any alternatives?
We tried things like breaking things, talking to people, writing poems and letters, but none of its working, sometimes things like drawing on yourself, or playing video games works for awhile... but.. everytime she seems to go back to cutting. Help!?
I had a dear friend who self-mutilated...her therapist had her wear a rubber band on her wrist and when she felt the need to cut, had her snap that rubber band...it seemed to help...Your friend needs a good therapist to get to the root of the behavior...it is a coping mechanism, as I understand it. Pain releases certain chemicals in the brain, nature's pain relievers...to which self-mutilators become addicted...Physical pain is also a way to feel real...a therapist who is trained in this field is really essential. You are a good friend to care!
Self-mutilation is a prevalent problem that doesn't have easy answers and can be very difficult to understand, but it may be possible to help a family member or friend who self-mutilates. read more
Coming from a person who use to do this...
I finally over came my self-harming when I got control of my emotions. I use to cut myself because I could not control my emotions so instead of having the emotional pain I would draw my attention to physical pain as I could handle that pain so much better. People need to realize that's why people cut themselves... Its not for attention and its not to necessarily hurt themselves, its to distract them from their own emotions. I did this when I was 16 and my mother had me go to a doctor to "talk". I sat in that room for 45 minutes and didn't say a word. I told my mother talking to someone that I don't know will not help me. You are paying him to be a "friend". She only sent me there one more time before she realized shes wasting her money on something that is pointless. Some people, however, get great help from talking. I did not.
Tell her to try to tough it out. Next time she gets in that mood where she can't handle her emotional pain, tell her to play a sad song or a angry song and cry it all out. Once she learns to get past the mountain, everything is a simple way down. She will be proud the first time she over comes it and it will inspire her to continue to keep over coming this!
self harm is an addiction, like smoking.. For me, there was never anything that could 'stop' me doing it. But there was definitely things I did to delay the process, like going out with friends and being around people so I wouldn't do it, having phone conversations with those closest to me.. And even just reading.. You can never stop cutting just like that, it's a long process in which you have to be patient. The main thing I found that helped was will power.
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