My real life friend just died from cancer and I'm feeling sad and depressed what

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   Tamila Robertsposted 13 years ago

   My real life friend just died from cancer and I'm feeling sad and depressed what should I do?
   
   What should I do to ease heart from the painful feeling? He was in intensive care at the hospital recently. Can't believe it, last time I saw him was 2 days ago and he looked fine. The doctors prolonged his life for 10 year's with cancer medications. but, in the end the long-term side effect of his prostate cancer meds destroyed his kidneys and he died
   
   I'm feeling really bad and it brings tear to my eyes. He was a good soul and caring man. He was enjoying retirement and his pension he had finally obtained about a year ago after a lifetime of work. Life can be so cruel sometimes.

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   kafsoaposted 13 years ago

   I'm really sorry to know you're suffering that much. Just think it the other way, he left this world where he had pain and struggling. I'm sure this is the best for him, you must believe that. I know what you're suffering right now, I had this before when I lost my grandmother, I thought I won't be able to continue and I had too much pain in my heart too. I kept praying whenever I have this feeling. Whatever was your religion, do the prayers and ask god to help you, no body can help you in those cases but allah. Just put your hand on your heart and keep praying, this will bring comfort to your heart. God bless you.

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   simonpeter35posted 13 years ago

   Go some where that you have enjoyed most e.g: to the beach or to the countryside.
   
   There is a certain pain in our life that only time can healed.

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   christiansisterposted 13 years ago

   When my mother passed away suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 54 I was stricken with sadness.
   
   But, what helped me the most was going through all my pictures and remembering all the crazy things in our life good and bad.
   
   I laughed and cried and talked about my feelings aloud even though I was alone in the room. Plus I never really feel she is totally gone. She is always in my mind and therefore a part of my reality.

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      Kathryn Shattlerposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Tamila, We all grieve in different ways. Try to get in touch with the grief process that will allow you to heal, not damage your heart and soul. If your depression doesn't life after a few months, seek grief counseling and support groups.

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   WriterDJposted 13 years ago

   Ways that many people choose to eliminate the depression that are:
   
      1. Listening to music (49 percent)
      2. Roads (44 percent)
      3. Reading (41 percent)
      4. Watching movies (36 percent)
      5. Hanging out with friends or family (36 percent)
      6. Playing video games or browsing the internet (33 percent)
      7. Nap (32 percent)
      8. Pray (32 percent)
      9. Eating (28 percent)
     10. Spending time hobby activities (27 percent)
     11. Go to the religious (19 percent)
     12. Shopping (15 percent)
     13. Smoking (14 percent)
     14. Drinking alcohol (14 percent)
     15. Sports (10 percent)
     16. Go to the spa or massage place (10 percent)
     17. Meditation or yoga (7 percent)
     18. Visiting expert mental...
   
   So which one do you prefer?

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   amazingcollecposted 12 years ago

   My mom passed away 6 years ago from cancer. Time, time, and more time. Try to surround yourself with positive influences and sit by the water. Water is calming and peaceful. I feel for you because the process is hard.

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   lifesbetterposted 12 years ago

   My mother-in-law battled breast cancer for a number of years and passed away last September. It is very difficult to experience and it is natural you are feeling sad and depressed. Overtime the sadness will pass and you will think of this person with fond memories. Memories are special because they can never be taken away. Try not to focus on the sadness, but on the pleasures you both shared in life and how blessed you were to have that time you both shared.  This person certainly would want you to enjoy life for him, not feel bad that he passed away. Try joining a support group a senior citizens group, volunteer work, or invite others over for a special event. I realize it is difficult and it is always too soon for ones we care for to leave us.

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   JON EWALLposted 12 years ago

   Tamila Roberts
   IT IS NATURAL TO FEEL SADNESSf of losing someone you love or charish.Cancer can be a very painful death sometimes lasting a long time.It hurts to see and feel for a loved one, the pain and suffering.
   The Lord has decided to take our loved one, surely to a place of no more suffering.Keeping that in mind,cherish all the memories and good times that one had while the loved one was here on earth.
   We were born here on earth that one day we would leave this earth for a new beginning, rejoicing in the kingdom of God.

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   iviskeiposted 12 years ago

   You never really get over death. You just get used to the fact that the person is gone. The best thing to do is to live happy. Even though you're sad that your friend is gone you're life is still continuing.

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    landscapeartistposted 11 years ago

    Tamila, I am so sorry for your loss.  Life can be so cruel.  Remember him and those memories will keep him alive in your heart. 
    My husband and I have been separated for 4 years now and just today I found out that my brother-in-law has prostate cancer.  Life just isn't fair. We are here for you when you need us.  We may only be linked to you through Hubpages but when you need to talk or type, we will listen.

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    vrbmftposted 8 years ago

    Words are so very very powerful.  Words create the reality for which they stand.  If you say life is cruel, life IS cruel, and you will experience life as cruel, unfair, and painful, and you will put yourself into a victim stance in relationship to life.  I would suggest, that just for "fun" you say, "I often don't understand life."  Or, "When someone I love dies, I feel really really sad."
    When we lose someone, in death or in any other circumstance, our bodies call us to grieve.  One of the ways we grieve is to cry.  And I allow myself to cry for as long as I need to cry.  If you breathe when you cry, crying will bring relief.  The problem is most of us hold our breath when we feel the first surge of tears, and then crying becomes an unnecessary war of the wills. 
    By crying, we honor the importance of our relationship.  Tears will soothe the pain of the loss.  Check out google "What are tears good for."  There are some interesting articles about the chemical make up of tears. 
    I also believe that those who pass on are still with us.  So talk to your friend.  Ask him to send you a sign that he is still with you and I guarantee you, he will.
    Whatever you do, do not take medication.  BUT, get plenty of rest, eat well, and talk to your friends.  Share your grief with them.  Do not drink and take any mind altering anything.  Let safe people hold you and comfort you.
    It is also a good time to look at your own passing which is also a guarantee.  Once we get over the fear of dying, we can live in a way that we have never lived before.

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