What do you do to commemorate the anniversary of a loved one's death?

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   Victoria Lynnposted 12 years ago

   What do you do to commemorate the anniversary of a loved one's death?
   
   This is the two year anniversary of my 3 year old nephew's death. What should be done to help family deal with the pain of the anniversary? If you have had such a loss, maybe there's something you could share that has meant something to you on the anniversary? Or something that people should avoid?

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2. 0

   Arlene V. Pomaposted 12 years ago

   First of all, please let me say that I am sorry for your loss.  I was born in Sacramento, but my mom and dad are from the Philippines.  When someone dies, the tradition is to have a dinner on the anniversary of the loved one's death and invite family and friends .  This could go on for years.  Depends on the family.  Or you visit the cemetery or hold special service (mass).  Since I was born in the USA, I don't do any of these traditions.  My father died in 1999.  I was very close to him and I think about him every day.  On his birthday each year, I start a major writing project with the promise to complete it.  So far, so good.  On the anniversary of his death, I find myself being very busy that day for no special reason.  It just happens.

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3. 61

   vjwillisjrposted 12 years ago

   Give a party celebrating his life. I pray that when I pass there will be few or no tears. I hope everyone will get together about two weeks after I pass and have a party in my honor.

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4. 79

   theseattlegirlposted 12 years ago

   I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a little one from your life is a lifelong heartache.
   
   My family has always been low key about our grief. When the anniversary of my grandfather's untimely death rolls around, we may not plan elaborate events. Sometimes, we're too sad to do any planning whatsoever.
   
   BUT, it seems to happen somehow that we'll all find a reason to make his favorite dessert and his favorite side dish and his favorite this and that, and share it together. It's a tender sign of remembrance.
   
   Food is nurturing and fosters a sense of shared community. Even if that community is one of grief now and then, it's a good thing to share together.
   
   Just my $0.02!

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   winphatakposted 12 years ago

   I celebrate my grandfather’s life by trying to live  upto his standards of honesty, integrity and service. For my father’s death anniversary, I take a review of my activities and check if I have delivered on his expectations. If I have failed, I take a vow to correct them.

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   artist101posted 11 years ago

   
   
   I'm truly sorry for your loss. I celebrate my father's life not his death. As he was older, it was to be expected, I cannot imagine the pain with someone so young. On my fathers 1 year anniversary, I placed climbing blaze roses by his favorite tree, in a coffee can, his favorite drink, his favorite flower, which he helped to plant, I cannot tell you what to do or not to do. Every one deals with grief differently. Some go through the stages quickly, others it takes years. There are many stages, each different, and in no particular order. Usually, shock, then anger, then finally acceptance. Whether you laugh or cry it makes no difference, each is of itself a healing process. Just when I think i'm over it, i'll hear a song, Dance with my Father again, and it starts all over again. Very painful, but necessary, for healing. I truly wish you the very best.

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   1. 89

      Victoria Lynnposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you. It was 3 years 2 days ago. Aug 17th. Can't believe it. Your answer is wonderful in that we all deal with grief differently. Lovely answer, thank you. Sorry for your loss. I wish you the best. And peace.

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      artist101posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you

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   Landonnyposted 10 years ago

   This was the third year since my younger brothers death from Melanoma . I always keep him in my heart . I sometimes will stop by his grave and I will pray and speak to him. I miss his presence but always hold the memories of his smile. It's funny but when I sit and think about the loved ones I have lost I can still hear there voices. I don't really consider the day he died as an anniversary, it's more like the day his body left to wait  until we are together again. There is really no need to mark the day
   As long as you carry those memories. And I don't think there is a more fitting memorial to mark that day.

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   1. 89

      Victoria Lynnposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      That's a beautiful answer. Thank you.

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   2. 53

      Landonnyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you Victoria

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